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Bush has problems with Iran’s President Ahmadinejad – and many other difficult words.

10-4-2006

George Bush is planning to launch missile attacks on any countries with leaders he can’t pronounce. Iran, led by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, is the most likely first target. Jeque Abdullah ibn Khalifah Al Thani of Qatar is said to be on the list, along with Governor Blagojevich of Illinois.

The US will launch air strikes against nuclear weapons sites in Iran and has apologised in advance if the French embassy accidentally gets hit in the process, even if its the one in Washington.

Gordon.

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Mr Bush has said he is not concerned that retaliation could significantly increase the price of a barrel of oil. “We’ll make the barrels smaller” the President said. “That way we can keep the price the same. Plus we’ll water it down a bit”.

Excited to be on the brink of war again, George Dubya was taken shopping for toy planes with his father on Saturday, to be used in the planning of the attack with top strategists, including Peter O’Toole who offers his experience of desert warfare from his part as Lawrence of Arabia.

The President is also in talks with the California Governor, who has a plan whereby he goes back in time and kills Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s mother so the Iranian leader is never born.

The attack is planned before the end of the year, with the end of civilisation likely before the next Presidential election. Meanwhile the US Terror Alert scale has been raised from “High” to “Bricking It”.

Gordon.