ForumGarden

Sorry I haven't been posting much. As you can see, I've been pretty busy:

http://www.daily-times.com/search/ci_4010125

jives thats great but just a note of caution, do you really want everyone on the internet to know personal details, its like posting your phone number, im possibly being overly paranoid but saying it from concern for you, hugs :-6

(Val slaps forehead)



And here all this time I thought it was those essays you were busy

with!



http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/showp ... stcount=17

Bless you Jon, you done good.

Whoop-dee-freakin-doo.

You have been busy. Your doing a great job there, but next time your occupied remember to pop your head in and say hello now and again, we've missed you. :-4

I see we've got a slew of reactions here.

I have never met 'Jives', as our FG timelines have not really crossed.

Sounds like there's some water under the bridge here . . .

In any event, I congratulate you, Jives, on your newsworthy actions.

Clancy wrote: Yep.












:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

Do we really have to go through all this crap everytime Jives comes here?

Looks like we do, Betty.



Maybe some day it will convince j-low to get the professional help he

needs to rid himself of his inner chest-beating gorilla.



And some day he could quit lying, too.



That is my fervent hope.

valerie wrote: Looks like we do, Betty.



Maybe some day it will convince j-low to get the professional help he

needs to rid himself of his inner chest-beating gorilla.



And some day he could quit lying, too.



That is my fervent hope.


Is everything about him a lie though??



I don't know, I don't really care, I just hate to see all this bitchiness.

Betty Boop wrote: Is everything about him a lie though??



I don't know, I don't really care, I just hate to see all this bitchiness.


I totally agree with you Betty. everyone and I mean everyone lies sometime or other whether it be a little lie or a big one doesn't matter as long as doesn't effect you personally.

I just wish members here would stop bitching and get on with their own lives. If there is a member they don't like then ignore them and not keep making some snide remark everytime they post.

Not everything, I'm sure. This apparently isn't.



But that doesn't let him off the hook for flying in here saying

extremely hurtful things to other members, and leaving for days

afterwards, then coming back and bumping the very thread with

the hurtful thing in it.



How does he get his cred back? I don't think it's possible with all

the things he's lied about here, and I'm NOT talking Gin Blossoms.

That's the least of it. If it were only that, I probably could have

readily forgiven him, but he's shown no true desire and capacity for

CHANGE.



And personally, it's really hard especially for me to think what he

does to people in here. Unknowing innocents. He can't be allowed

to get away with it. Why should he be?

After reading the article, sounds like you're doing a great job there Jives, good going, you can be proud of yourself!:) It's not easy to teach & or reach all!

valerie wrote: Not everything, I'm sure. This apparently isn't.



But that doesn't let him off the hook for flying in here saying

extremely hurtful things to other members, and leaving for days

afterwards, then coming back and bumping the very thread with

the hurtful thing in it.



How does he get his cred back? I don't think it's possible with all

the things he's lied about here, and I'm NOT talking Gin Blossoms.

That's the least of it. If it were only that, I probably could have

readily forgiven him, but he's shown no true desire and capacity for

CHANGE.



And personally, it's really hard especially for me to think what he

does to people in here. Unknowing innocents. He can't be allowed

to get away with it. Why should he be?




I have no idea what else has gone on here, it takes far too much energy to hate in my opinion.



Live and Let Live, put him on ignore.

Betty Boop wrote: I have no idea what else has gone on here, it takes far too much energy to hate in my opinion.



Live and Let Live, put him on ignore.


Have to agree with you there BB!;)

Betty Boop wrote: I have no idea what else has gone on here, it takes far too much energy to hate in my opinion.



Live and Let Live, put him on ignore.


See, that's just the thing, you have no idea what else has gone on

here. or the hurtful things he's said. I have pullenty of energy to

spend on outing him for that.



Putting him on ignore would deprive me of LOADS of fun. Can't have

that!!

there is no love lost between me and jives, and there will be none gained after posting this, nevertheless, i extend congratulations. it's a good thing he's doing.



good deeds don't absolve bad actions. but they can stand on their own.

anastrophe wrote: there is no love lost between me and jives, and there will be none gained after posting this, nevertheless, i extend congratulations. it's a good thing he's doing.



good deeds don't absolve bad actions. but they can stand on their own.


More power to you Sir.

It is a good program, and will help out the students alot.



:)

Betty Boop wrote: Is everything about him a lie though??



I don't know, I don't really care, I just hate to see all this bitchiness.
Yes, everything about him is a lie. He contrived and manipulated and weaved a very convincing tale about something that never happened. He went to extremes to make us believe he was something he wasn't. He made grandiose and elaborate lies about what he was and for me, that cuts it. A liar like that is a liar for life. I will never again believe one word that comes from this person's mouth. Ever. Two things I can't stand and you guys have heard me say it over and over: A thief and a liar. He stole my trust in him which makes him a thief and he lied, God knows how many times about how many things. This isn't bitchiness, this is statements of fact. Jives is a liar, pure and simple and his only agenda here is to feed his own ego. That in itself is revolting and I want nothing to do with it, or him. Period, next question, please.

wonders about quoting everyone from the forgivness & troll threads then thinks whats the point

for crying out loud people if jives winds you up put him on ignore, constantly attacking him no matter what he has done only makes you look venemous & this place a school playground

everyone should take a look at the amount of times 'fg is a big family' is used in posts & wonder what a lie that is

buttercup wrote: wonders about quoting everyone from the forgivness & troll threads then thinks whats the point

for crying out loud people if jives winds you up put him on ignore, constantly attacking him no matter what he has done only makes you look venemous & this place a school playground
Can't agree with you there, Butter. He comes in, attacks, says mean hurtful, spiteful things and then comes back days later with Bullshit like this. The man is a proven liar, on more than one occasion and he has some agenda here. I don't trust him, I don't like him, and I think he's playing games. He had his chance. He had several chances, and he keeps blowing them. He's made his own bed here, and now he has to lie in it or get the hell out. I vote for the latter. ('Course, when it comes to "lying" in something, he's got that down to a science.)

quote br - He comes in, attacks, says mean hurtful, spiteful things

only in response to people saying mean, hurtful, spiteful things to him, playground behaviour from both parties :-5

quote br - The man is a proven liar

agreed but jeez he said he was in a rock band :rolleyes: its not as if he's a monster, chill out

quote br - He's made his own bed here, and now he has to lie in it or get the hell out. I vote for the latter.

thats just plain bullying imo

In all fairness to Jives, any chance of my forgiving and forgetting his lies diminishes every time someone tries to cram it down my throat that I must like him, I must forgive him, etc. That much, is not his fault. I'm sure I like some people here that others don't, but I don't cram it down their throats that they must like them. Yes, the transitional school is a good thing. Does that change the fact that he has lied to the members here for months? Not at all. :-5

Peg wrote: In all fairness to Jives, any chance of my forgiving and forgetting his lies diminishes every time someone tries to cram it down my throat that I must like him, I must forgive him, etc. That much, is not his fault. I'm sure I like some people here that others don't, but I don't cram it down their throats that they must like them. Yes, the transitional school is a good thing. Does that change the fact that he has lied to the members here for months? Not at all. :-5


I don't subscribe to either the must like him or the must hate him school of thought - it just gets very booring to have this re-hash every time he posts.

Can people not give it a rest?

im not saying anyone has to like him peg, im saying ignore him if he winds you up, as i said before using slander & bully tactics only makes people look venemous & fg a playground

everytime the man posts will we have to go through this s h i t about the band/lie ect, cant we just move on?

edit - thank you bryn, it is boring

Jives knows darn well when he posts here, how some people feel. I did not respond to this thread until it turned into a "forgive or ignore" thread. Why should I put anyone that knows what the response will be on ignore? Makes me wonder what his real reason for posting here was.

Peg wrote: Jives knows darn well when he posts here, how some people feel. I did not respond to this thread until it turned into a "forgive or ignore" thread. Why should I put anyone that knows what the response will be on ignore? Makes me wonder what his real reason for posting here was.


Presumably he still wants to be a member here and was testing the water.

If an "I can be nice really" post gets flamed then what hope joining in with the flow.

*hoping everyone noticed my absense in all this*



Check his history, even his recent history. He's not attacked at every turn. He doesn't alternately attack then start a 'look what I can do' thread, at least not as a regular occurrence. For several posts, he participated in typical conversations in an acceptable manner without incident. (why do I suddenly feel older typing that sentence, and how did this gavel get here?)



His last 3 posts:

He was phenominally rude/insensitive to BR, then couldn't just leave it alone, then posted this. He deserves every post in this thread, assuming his original post was the truth. If not, he only deserves the bad part.

buttercup wrote: quote br - He comes in, attacks, says mean hurtful, spiteful things



only in response to people saying mean, hurtful, spiteful things to him, playground behaviour from both parties :-5



quote br - The man is a proven liar



agreed but jeez he said he was in a rock band :rolleyes: its not as if he's a monster, chill out



quote br - He's made his own bed here, and now he has to lie in it or get the hell out. I vote for the latter.



thats just plain bullying imo
A) I had not said a single thing to J-Low in I don't know how long. He came in with his snarky and cruel comments about a "lesson" I was learning, and I (and several others) felt it was a "kick me while I'm down" tactic.



B) He went to great lengths to weave a very intricate, detailed story, that was a complete falsehood. And held on to it, and elaborated it...that is a sign of some serious mental problems.



C) That's not bullying, that's fact. If he can't take the heat of his own actions....then ship the hell out. Not bullying...fact, and also my opinion. If you don't share it, that's fine.

buttercup wrote: im not saying anyone has to like him peg, im saying ignore him if he winds you up, as i said before using slander & bully tactics only makes people look venemous & fg a playground


I certainly hope J reads this. He needs to.

First of all, Pina I'm sorry we cross posted at one point, I would have

liked to reply.



I DO take almost everything jives says personally. Stick a knife in

BR's back (or anyone else, for that matter) and twist it and it's

tantamount to sticking it into MINE. I'm not about to "ignore" that.

I say "almost" because ACC is right, I'm not going to do the "leg work"

right now but I have let j slide on quite a few things.



Yes, we do have a schoolyard bully in our midst. A boastful, lying,

cruel schoolyard bully. Every time he comes in here and gets fawned

over, you guys are enabling that behavior to continue. He gets

positive reinforcement for his bs. And I don't think that's right. Where

were all you guys when he says such an incredibly mean thing to

BR? Do you just "ignore" that? Do you even pm your friend and say

"Look buddy gets a little hard to support you around here when you

pull a stunt like that". Heck we even sanction foreign countries against

wrong behavior. Child psychologists tell parents to hold a misbehaving

small child and tell them "I'm going to stop you until you can learn to

stop yourself". That's what j needs. He's got a serious problem.

Completely throw out the GB "incident" if you will. There's plenty

other things to see. 3 times or 5 times or 10 times teacher awards.

A gravely ill wife who does canning. He's getting forgetful about his

lies, and then lies to try to cover up. Have I ever lied? Oh, sure. When

I was about THREE. It's been years since I've lied, I don't know

exactly how many, but I plain and simple don't do it any more.



You guys want forgiveness? I'll tell ya a little story about forgiveness.

I was in a relationship for almost 14 years where I was abused. My

abuser is a friend to this DAY. To both myself and my husband. I went

to my abuser's mother's memorial service last fall. I have FORGIVEN

him everything. The difference? That man sought professional help,

made a sincere apology and changed his behavior. j hasn't and most

likely won't unless he gets some real turn around reinforcement. I

hereby volunteer to give him that.



Consider this, if j is adopted, he feels like he was "given away". That

must be awful. So the constant and lifelong search to fit in and feel

wanted leads him to behave in the manner he does.



Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I will

never rest when you're cruel to people I cherish. Cherish even though

I told BR a while back I'd crack a bottle upside her head. Hey, she and

I are right with each other. She can take the truth. She knows the

TRUTH herself. And I'll have a friend's back whenever I'm able.



Please remember j himself is the one that posted stuff like this. He

thereby opened himself up to anything he gets. He left a friend twisting

in the wind. Not me.



A lot of you say you hate threads like this yet these are always the ones

that get the most views and the most replies. What does that tell you?

Everybody trying to jump in and get their licks in and on tenterhooks

waiting to see what's posted next. You eat it up with a spoon.



I'd be hard put to think of a finer person than Chonsigirl. I am sorry

for the hurt I've personally caused her and others. But it had to be

done.



Would it be nice to find joy in a member's accomplishments? Yes, indeed

it would. And will, sometime. j has made that joy an impossibility to

get from a lot of us.

Val, your post is extremely eloquent. And spot-on. Thank you. :yh_clap :yh_clap :yh_clap :yh_clap







valerie wrote:

Cherish even though

I told BR a while back I'd crack a bottle upside her head.


And rightly so!!!

Congratulations on your accomplishments Jives. May all your students thrive.

Val, you would never hurt my feelings! True friends always speak how they feel, and what they think is right. :-4

And you are being BR's sweet friend for defending her-because yes, Jives did say a hurtful thing to her that day. Hurtful isn't enough to describe it. I cannot think in terms to reply to mean comments written to another. I was shocked at what was written, and was sad when I read it. We are here to support each other, through thick and thin as they say. That is what friendship is. I believe FG is that type of place, where we are real friends.

Yes, Jives, you have a wonderful program and I am glad you are doing it. Students need a second chance to do well. I think these same principles need to be applied here as well. Second chances are to be taken seriously, and the person must try even harder to do well. I think many would like to see you given a second chance, but you must be serious about it. We would like to see the insightful, contributing posts you have always made in the past, your humor and cool stories. But we would also like to see a spirit of peace, and of understanding. Intentional malace is perceived as such, and many are ever alert to it now. That is why threads go in this direction. We are never too old to learn in life these lessons, that if we would only treat people as kindly and with respect as we want to be treated, the same feelings will be returned. Jives, I think that is what people would like for you to do.

chonsigirl wrote: Jives, I think that is what people would like for you to do.


What a gracious and gallant person you are, Chons.

From what I've read in the archives, seems like he's way past his 2nd chance. I could *barely* get through the Brokeback Mountain thread without throwing something at my monitor.

The older I get, I find myself more consciously choosing quality people with whom to spend my time.

I'm not sure if Jives is truly worth the effort.

Just my opinion.

chonsigirl wrote: Val, you would never hurt my feelings! True friends always speak how they feel, and what they think is right. :-4

And you are being BR's sweet friend for defending her-because yes, Jives did say a hurtful thing to her that day. Hurtful isn't enough to describe it. I cannot think in terms to reply to mean comments written to another. I was shocked at what was written, and was sad when I read it. We are here to support each other, through thick and thin as they say. That is what friendship is. I believe FG is that type of place, where we are real friends.

Yes, Jives, you have a wonderful program and I am glad you are doing it. Students need a second chance to do well. I think these same principles need to be applied here as well. Second chances are to be taken seriously, and the person must try even harder to do well. I think many would like to see you given a second chance, but you must be serious about it. We would like to see the insightful, contributing posts you have always made in the past, your humor and cool stories. But we would also like to see a spirit of peace, and of understanding. Intentional malice is perceived as such, and many are ever alert to it now. That is why threads go in this direction. We are never too old to learn in life these lessons, that if we would only treat people as kindly and with respect as we want to be treated, the same feelings will be returned. Jives, I think that is what people would like for you to do.


I usually keep my nose out of these threads. But I have to say Chronsi, that was one of the most eloquent posts I've read. :-6

cherandbuster wrote: What a gracious and gallant person you are, Chons.



From what I've read in the archives, seems like he's way past his 2nd chance. I could *barely* get through the Brokeback Mountain thread without throwing something at my monitor.



The older I get, I find myself more consciously choosing quality people with whom to spend my time.



I'm not sure if Jives is truly worth the effort.



Just my opinion.
More gracious and gallant than me, that's for sure. Cher, I also think J has passed up his 2nd, 3rd and possibly 4th chances. He lays low for a while then pops back in with absolutely cruel words. Then posts some huge "accomplishment" like he hasn't just been a complete ass, and expects a bunch of pats on the back and "atta boys". Well, pardon my french, but **** that. We share the same opinion. An over-inflated opinion of oneself is not something I can tolerate and his is to the point of exploding. I have zero tolerance for conceit.

BabyRider wrote: More gracious and gallant than me, that's for sure. Cher, I also think J has passed up his 2nd, 3rd and possibly 4th chances. He lays low for a while then pops back in with absolutely cruel words. Then posts some huge "accomplishment" like he hasn't just been a complete ass, and expects a bunch of pats on the back and "atta boys". Well, pardon my french, but **** that. We share the same opinion. An over-inflated opinion of oneself is not something I can tolerate and his is to the point of exploding. I have zero tolerance for conceit.


I don't like anyone taking cheap shots at people I've grown to care about. I find that unacceptable. Period.

BR, Clancy, Snooze, Val -- I must say I'm with you guys on this one. You four are all decent and honorable people.

It's a pleasure spending my time with you guys.

cherandbuster wrote: It's a pleasure spending my time with you guys.
Cher, I've gotten pretty fond of you myself, the pleasure has been mine. :-6

valerie wrote: A lot of you say you hate threads like this yet these are always the ones that get the most views and the most replies. What does that tell you?

Everybody trying to jump in and get their licks in and on tenterhooks

waiting to see what's posted next. You eat it up with a spoon.


This is true, Val, and it's got me thinking as to why this really happens...it isn't just in FG, it can happen in any sort of group. What is it that can make some of us react this way?

I always read these sort of threads and wait avidly to read what's posted next. Sometimes I throw in a comment or two, sometimes I stay quiet.

If I'm honest, I usually say something like, "Oh no, trouble again. I'm really fed up with this." But that doesn't stop me reading everything that's posted! So do I really mean that I'm fed up? Frighteningly it doesn't ring true...I'm being totally contradictory.

I suppose I can only reach an answer by looking honestly at my own reactions....but I'm not getting very far...perhaps I'm nervous of what I might find. Is there anyone braver than me who might have some ideas of why? Because there is definitely a perverse sort of attraction to threads of this kind.

I sometimes wonder if, in a previous life, I was one of the women who sat knitting beneath the guillotine!

quote theia - I sometimes wonder if, in a previous life, I was one of the women who sat knitting beneath the guillotine!

thats priceless theia, i really laughed out loud

br - i have not seen the brokeback mountain thread yet but i will look at it :-6

edit - no i wont, there's 53 pages of it !!!!!