ForumGarden

Oh How I have missed you all...First off--let me WELCOME the new members..I am really not a snot---I have just been off line...I am so glad you ventured to the FG!! :-4

I am headed home from this awful place as of Friday..I was very ill for awhile--My blood pressure dropped and the radiation was a large dose..I became very sick but am slowly pulling myself back up to semi normal...the emails have been a welcomed blessing today.. I could not access the Internet as I was bed-ridden for over a week with weakness of which I was sure to die from..I actually felt my soul leaving me as I laid there...It was the scariest thing for me to write each of my children's good bye letters..and now I am getting stronger..I told my mother that I NOW whole heartily believe that when one wills themselves to live--that it can happen..After seeing my children's faces on a recent visit..they saw death lying there, oxygen and vent tubes... and not their mother...before they went away that night and I had kissed each one as they crawled up into my bed and held them...I realized what I was doing--I was letting go and when they walked out the door--it was as if I had said my last goodbyes to them....I REFUSED to see the distress in my 14 yr olds eyes..WE held a glance and she was afraid---she held me and cried and that was the moment I felt my soul pour back into my body....It is hard to explain and I know I am not out of the water yet--but I am eating and I am typing to you now--and up until 2 days ago I hadn't the strength to lift my head, let alone be sitting in this chair...My children are my strength and I believe that I had really been ready to go..Please don't think I am crazy--it was a very REAL thing that happened that night....Its amazing to explain..

I wanted to give you all the update that I had not headed down deaths roadway and I am getting to go home to the local hospital on Friday and HOEPFULLY home by next Wednesday....Your prayers and wishes have taken me through this long trip to hell and back--and I am certain to reach the top and be a well person again..the blood work is getting better everyday and the tumors have all shrunk to less then 2cm..I know in my heart-I could not of done this with out all of my friends and family...Thank you so very much..Much Love!:-4 Dawn

You don't know how glad I am to see your e-mail.

It is wonderful to hear that you're pulling through at last - you always were a fighter but it been so long I was worrying for you.

Be strong, be well and welcome back.

Thank you !! I am closing now but wanted to say goodbye--it was a joy to be able to catch up today and yesterday!!! Miss u guys and I will try and get on tomorrow if I can...:-4

Aw hello again beautiful lady, I hope you get your strength back real soon we all do miss you. Blessings and strength to you and your kids.

Oh Mom, we are so happy you will be out of there soon, and back home!:-4

So glad you've foun dthe strength to keep fighting. :-6

:yh_hugs :yh_hugs :yh_hugs

Oh Mom, only the very best wishes are sent out your way, it's hard to type this through wet eyes! You keep on getting yourself better now, ya hear! :-4

Hi Mom...so glad to hear from you...you're one courageous lady....:-4

Mom,

Your post was hopeful and loving. I think the experience you had was very real and meaningful. I'm so glad you're sharing it with us.

Be well, my friend.

And reach out to us always. We're here :-4