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Does living every get any easier? Does the responsibility to make choices ever end? I live in Virginia. With a few exceptions ( like the lack of social life) I enjoy living here. I feel priveledged to live here. I returned here last November after spending two miserable years ( with the exception of my friends) on the southeast coast of Georgia. I was thrilled to come back home. Ive been struggling to make a living since returning. And of course, I continue to search for a position. Well, guess where a job perfectly suited for me appears? Right back in the exact place I loathed, and left. The company is solid and reputable. The salary is a respectful range. The benefit package is excellent. The department head is anxious to meet me. I have come highly reccommended. I sit and stare out the window visualizing myself in the job, and BACK DOWN THERE, and I feel sick. But then, am I supposed to be adult and responsible... bite the bullett and take the job because it could insure my future? I have been doing some landscape consulting work, and design since being back home. The assignments arent enough, so I have been waitressing to survive. Taking the waitressing job at this age.. took my ego to the toilet. Now I actually find myself choosing to continue the work Im doing than accepting the respectable and responsible position. I am running out of time to decide. The situation is driving me crazy. What would you do?

Hamster... your thread actually prompted me to post my thread. Its funny you know.. because I can tell from your picture that you are probably half my age.. and see? Here I am and the cross roads continue to present themselves. I havent posted here in months. As soon as I put up the thread, and walked away, I knew the answer. Because writing is so theraputic. I cant go down there. It doesnt matter if the salary was a million dollars a year. The dilemma is the realization that my priorities ( which I always felt were out of the ordinary) have created a life that certainly is not easy.

Do you own or rent now ?

Your so funny... I RENT by the skin of my teeth. But Ill tell you..... boy, am I glad to be rid of those 3,800.00 a month notes that I lived with for two years. Im a NOBODY.

How much longer do you have to work ?

Is there a marked difference in the cost of living between Georgia and Virginia ?

Unless I come up with a phenomenal idea that makes me rich... I will never not have to work. Ive been self employed for 15 years. Never saved a dime because I was responsible for 3 of us. Myself and two sons. About three years ago another one of those cross roads presented itself. My little landscape business was a modest sucess... growing everyday. I gave it up, went down to Georgia and got involved purchasing a business that was in a historic piece of property. That was going to be my retirement. ( I thought)

Failed to take into consideration... our stressed economy.. the competition presented by Walmart, Supermarkets and Wholesalers offering their products and services online. I lost my shirt ( along with my down payment and everything I put into the place for 2 years. Sold it, came back to Va with nothing but the enthusiasm to start over. I am still enthusiastic but the going gets a little tough at my age. Ill be 55 in January. And my well spring of creative ideas seems to have run a little dry. My alternative to coming up with a business solution... would be to advertise here for someone to marry me while I still look fairly decent. But I hesitate to offer myself, as I know I am very difficult to put up with on a full time basis.

You're fun, Weeder. You don't sit back and let life drift, you get up and build lasting memories regardless of what's going on. I'd return to high-pay for a while if I knew it was a fixed period and that I could set cash aside, but I've always enjoyed whatever job was involved and if you really can't enjoy it then I agree it's not a serious option. Maybe if you did it knowing you'd set yourself a time limit for making it work out then it could be worth starting? Whatever made it intolerable last time, you've the experience now to find ways round that and create a better working environment in the place. If you think of it as a worthwhile challenge - to go back and improve things for the people you'll be working with - you'd get a lot out of that as well as a healthier cashflow.

Your right Spot. The very points you mention are why I have been struggling with this. My good friends are there. I wouldnt tell the company, but for me the position would be temporary in my plan. I could save money, as I am offered a beautiful place to live, in a house by the ocean, with my good friend.. If I could stick it out for lets say 2 years, the well known company is a very impressive reference. My friends have advised me to at least take a trip down there next month, meet with the department head, and be able to make a more informed decision. Thank You

Now I actually find myself choosing to continue the work Im doing than accepting the respectable and responsible position. I am running out of time to decide.
I think this says it all. I think you have decided but are worried what others will think. I wish there was an easy answer, but there isn't. Only YOU can decide what is best for YOU.

You're fun, Weeder. You don't sit back and let life drift, you get up and build lasting memories regardless of what's going on. I'd return to high-pay for a while if I knew it was a fixed period and that I could set cash aside, but I've always enjoyed whatever job was involved and if you really can't enjoy it then I agree it's not a serious option. Maybe if you did it knowing you'd set yourself a time limit for making it work out then it could be worth starting? Whatever made it intolerable last time, you've the experience now to find ways round that and create a better working environment in the place. If you think of it as a worthwhile challenge - to go back and improve things for the people you'll be working with - you'd get a lot out of that as well as a healthier cashflow.

__________________

Yep. What Nomad said.

Weed, if you set yourself a pre determined date for making it work out then it could be worthwhile starting over at the "HIGH PAYING JOB"! Contrary to what some may say, MONEY can make you happy! (as long as you're healthy first) As it does ease the tension of having to make the many monthy financial obligations. Money to spare in your pocket, does make you happy, trust me, I know! If I'm reading your post right, You mentioned the "new" dept head was looking forward to meeting you. Which seems to imply that apparently the person who may have made it miserable last time is gone! With your additional work experience now possessed, & a new boss it may just create an all around better working environment for you. For starters, you would be back with your old friends, how great would that be! And you mentioned that you could live by the ocean, how great is that? If nothing else, it may be worth investigating the possibilities. Find out first hand, talk to your old friends there at work, ask them if the situation has changed/improved. Good Luck, & Best Wishes!

Weeder, if you really loathe where this company is located, don't take it. Why be unhappy? Money is not everything in life. You need enough to live, and I think since I am only 3 years different from you, I fully expect to have to work another 15 years or so. Or longer. Who knows?

I say don't be unhappy-the stress will take years off you life.

weeder wrote: Does living every get any easier? Does the responsibility to make choices ever end? I live in Virginia. With a few exceptions ( like the lack of social life) I enjoy living here. I feel priveledged to live here. I returned here last November after spending two miserable years ( with the exception of my friends) on the southeast coast of Georgia. I was thrilled to come back home. Ive been struggling to make a living since returning. And of course, I continue to search for a position. Well, guess where a job perfectly suited for me appears? Right back in the exact place I loathed, and left. The company is solid and reputable. The salary is a respectful range. The benefit package is excellent. The department head is anxious to meet me. I have come highly reccommended. I sit and stare out the window visualizing myself in the job, and BACK DOWN THERE, and I feel sick. But then, am I supposed to be adult and responsible... bite the bullett and take the job because it could insure my future? I have been doing some landscape consulting work, and design since being back home. The assignments arent enough, so I have been waitressing to survive. Taking the waitressing job at this age.. took my ego to the toilet. Now I actually find myself choosing to continue the work Im doing than accepting the respectable and responsible position. I am running out of time to decide. The situation is driving me crazy. What would you do?


Weeder, you have already answered your own questions. No job and increase in salary is worth being unhappy. There is only one Weeder life. Use it wisely and be happy

Uncle Kram and Chrons nailed it if it will make you that unhappy why? why? would you want to be unhappy for any amount of time.

It is your decision and I know you will make the right one.

[QUOTE]Weeder, you have already answered your own questions. No job and increase in salary is worth being unhappy. There is only one Weeder life. Use it wisely and be happy[/QUOTE]

Go down have the interview and then follow your instincts. If it feels right take it, if it doesn't don't, but at least you will know for certain rather than always wondering if maybe you should have gone. better to make a decision one way or the other than always wonder if things could have been different if only you hadn't passed up the chance.

Weeder. My first thought was that you should actually go back. I believe the reason is so that Virginia will work for you. But you need to go back to Georgia now and come back to Virginia with hindsight. Right now, Virginia is killing you.

Thanks again everyone. Its not lots of money. Its a respectable salary, with great benefits. More than Im managing to generate here so far. And Peg.. your right I do worry about what people think about what Im doing. Like " whats up with her? Is this the extent of her intelligence?? I try everyday to get over that.

chonsigirl wrote: Weeder, if you really loathe where this company is located, don't take it. Why be unhappy? Money is not everything in life. You need enough to live, and I think since I am only 3 years different from you, I fully expect to have to work another 15 years or so. Or longer. Who knows?



I say don't be unhappy-the stress will take years off you life.


Sorry chonsi I have to disagree, the "stress" of not being able to pay bills also can make one very unhappy & as well as take away years. Having just enough money to live, is existing, having enough money to do the things you really aways wanted to do, is living. weed owes it to herself to at least invisitgate the possibilities to make a decient living, not to mention getting excellent medical insurance. As one gets older, one will definately appreciate good medical coverage! And making more money would allow weed to be able to save something for her retirement, as of now she has nothing saved. weed can ask her friends at the old position as to the current working conditions. Since weed worked there, they got a new dept head, the whole working atmosphere may have changed.

weeder wrote: Thanks again everyone. Its not lots of money. Its a respectable salary, with great benefits. More than Im managing to generate here so far. And Peg.. your right I do worry about what people think about what Im doing. Like " whats up with her? Is this the extent of her intelligence?? I try everyday to get over that.


weed, watressing is a respectable job, there is nothing wrong with it. However, it's a tough job, expecially as you get older, a lot of hours running around on your feet. You can always tell intelligent watresses/waiters, they always seem to get all the orders straight, & anticipate their customer's needs. And they usually get the best tips!

I forget. Why do you loathe the area?

cars wrote: weed, watressing is a respectable job, there is nothing wrong with it. However, it's a tough job, expecially as you get older, a lot of hours running around on your feet. You can always tell intelligent watresses/waiters, they always seem to get all the orders straight, & anticipate their customer's needs. And they usually get the best tips!


Waitressing is nothing compared to digging gardens and lugging stone about.:rolleyes:

OpenMind wrote: Waitressing is nothing compared to digging gardens and lugging stone about.:rolleyes:


Right OM, both jobs are hard, (Did you ever see a waitress carry 8 or 10 meals, & drinks all out on one tray?) But anyway, it would be wise for weed to consider looking forward towards her future also. Excellent medical benifits becomes a major plus factor in the older years, that's when she will need the benifits coverage the most! Also, she needs to consider "saving" for her retirement. Being able to save for the next 10 years until her retirement age, will greatly help her when added to her SS benifits! As Her SS benifits alone, will not cut it, by any way, shape, or form!

weed, sorry to be preaching, I'm only trying to look out for the well being of your future. Work is work, if it was all fun & games, it wouldn't be called work!

cars wrote: Right OM, both jobs are hard, (Did you ever see a waitress carry 8 or 10 meals, & drinks all out on one tray?) But anyway, it would be wise for weed to consider looking forward towards her future also. Excellent medical benifits becomes a major plus factor in the older years, that's when she will need the benifits coverage the most! Also, she needs to consider "saving" for her retirement. Being able to save for the next 10 years until her retirement age, will greatly help her when added to her SS benifits! As Her SS benifits alone, will not cut it, by any way, shape, or form!

weed, sorry to be preaching, I'm only trying to look out for the well being of your future. Work is work, if it was all fun & games, it wouldn't be called work!


Cars, I have also recommended taking the job in Georgia. We are thinking along similar lines.:-6

Just flip a coin and take the stress out of it.:wah:

YZGI wrote: Just flip a coin and take the stress out of it.:wah:


If weed doesn't have money for retirement, she won't have a coin to flip! :rolleyes:

weeder wrote: The situation is driving me crazy. What would you do?


Am I too late? If taking this job might just turn out to be OK, go for it, because

if you get it and then decide you want to drop it and do something else, you

can. If you want to *try* something else and this is in the way, it's not for you.

Cars has a valid point about retirement, and the need for income.

I know I wish I lived in another location, and would move in a heartbeat if I could. I think I have the security of retirement to back me up, and know I would get a job if I relocated. I already take it as a given I have years off my life from stress, but then again my granny is turning 97 this December, we live a long time. I just can't relocate, and move my husband.

Why did you dislike the area so much? Would you be by any family and friends? How long must you stay?

Everyone.... The retirement issue is exactly the issue causing the stress. The property and the business in Georgia was going to be my retirement and it failed. I had medical coverage.... gone. And cars you are right about not having disposable cash.... it is awful. I am a very unmaterialistic individual. However, I am accustomed to buying plane tickets and going out to restaurants etc.... This past year has been squeezing nickels. It isnt fun. I think that this is what I am going to do. Schedule a meeting with the women who wants to meet me. Go down, hear what the offer is... see how I feel being down there again, and make a decision. I also applied for a position in Asheville North Carolina as Head Gardener for the Biltmore Estate. I would love to hear from them so that I have more than one option. Thanks so much for all your input. I really appreciate it.

Open Mind... What I hated about Georgia? The heat, the humidity, the bugs, the poverty found when we left the island. The poor air quality. The intolerance of northerners. Also... last year the G8 convention was held on the island where I lived. 8 head of countries from around the world met at the Cloister Hotel ( which is where I would be working) The security for weeks was unbelievable FBI CIA etc... In the event of a problem.... we residents were completely cut off from being able to get off the island. I realized suddenly, how living on an island made me vulnerable.

weeder wrote: Everyone.... The retirement issue is exactly the issue causing the stress. The property and the business in Georgia was going to be my retirement and it failed. I had medical coverage.... gone. And cars you are right about not having disposable cash.... it is awful. I am a very unmaterialistic individual. However, I am accustomed to buying plane tickets and going out to restaurants etc.... This past year has been squeezing nickels. It isnt fun. I think that this is what I am going to do. Schedule a meeting with the women who wants to meet me. Go down, hear what the offer is... see how I feel being down there again, and make a decision. I also applied for a position in Asheville North Carolina as Head Gardener for the Biltmore Estate. I would love to hear from them so that I have more than one option. Thanks so much for all your input. I really appreciate it.



Open Mind... What I hated about Georgia? The heat, the humidity, the bugs, the poverty found when we left the island. The poor air quality. The intolerance of northerners. Also... last year the G8 convention was held on the island where I lived. 8 head of countries from around the world met at the Cloister Hotel ( which is where I would be working) The security for weeks was unbelievable FBI CIA etc... In the event of a problem.... we residents were completely cut off from being able to get off the island. I realized suddenly, how living on an island made me vulnerable.


Weeder. I have not forgotten how much you hate Georgia or why, and if the other position in N. Carolina comes up, I would cry for you. But either way, it would only be for a comparatively short while and you will come back to Virginia and it will work for you.:-6

Thanks Roger:-4 Now..... if youd like to know what I REALLY want to do..Id like to get a work permit to come back to England for a year. On the weekends visit ALL of the surrounding countries. But alas.... The work permit issue is quite impossible, I discovered. And I am not 21. I guess it was a foolish notion. Something I should have tried to do 30 years ago.:-1

weeder wrote: Thanks Roger:-4 Now..... if youd like to know what I REALLY want to do..Id like to get a work permit to come back to England for a year. On the weekends visit ALL of the surrounding countries. But alas.... The work permit issue is quite impossible, I discovered. And I am not 21. I guess it was a foolish notion. Something I should have tried to do 30 years ago.:-1


Aww, Laura. I wish I could help you there. It would be great to have you here.

ah heck Weeder, are you the one who had that simply gorgeous nursery on ST. Simons Island. i live an hour away.

I lived on ST. Simons... The business was a florist in Brunswick. To bad we didnt meet, I could have had another friend down there. I know the place your thinking of. It is Ace on Denere Blvd, The new job is on Sea Island,

Where do you live?