ForumGarden

A haiku is 5, 7, 5. I like the poem. :-6

Oh, a haiku by snooze! Yeah!

A haiku is traditionally 5/7/5 but modern haiku do not have to have this burden. I run the haiku contests on my poetry site, and if you are not offended, I will offer advice:



Summer breeze

Caressing my skin

In the sun.

Revisions:

in the sun

summer breeze

caresses my skin

It is a very good haiku snooze, I am proud of you.:-6

A good resource on haiku: http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/haiku/haiku.html

Ha-your indulgence my dear snooze, but I don't think you will mind this one.

This was a haiku I wrote for a Butterfly Contest this week-I am adding the photo.....

(no, I didn't win the contest, but they liked my out-of-the-box version of a butterfly, I just wanted an excuse to post his pic!)

50 yards left

as the swimmer glides

butterfly stroke


I think you saw my link to my one haiku from the Japanese paper, it is totally not 5/7/5, but contains the basic parts of a haiku with multiple meanings. That is how modern haiku is written. I hear next week about my next series of submissions to a different journal, but am happy I got the one if that is all I ever have printed. The masters approved of it, and that was sweet enough to make me happy.

Write some more my dear!

Attached files

Your last indulgence, dear snooze. Here are a few example of my run-of-the mill modern haiku. They do not have to be 5/7/5. The rule of a seasonal element can be stretched a bit-like in the first one. The seasonal element is school-and I wrote a good one at school last week while they were taking their tests, but I submitted that one and cannot post it.

The tanka-a variant of haiku that stand on it's own as a poetic form, the one about your black kitty I wrote a long time ago. That one is published in my chapbook, they liked that one alot. Your kitty is famous now........(I always hope you would not mind I included that, I should have asked you) I will look today for another one I wrote about your black kitty, if you are not bored of all my responses by now-or say, let's have another Mark Spitz photo posted!:wah:

math class

boy’s homework sheet

conceals gameboy

no one is home

as the thunderstorm blows

keys left on counter

across the moon

moves a dark speck

space shuttle in flight

thunderstorm outside

awakens sleeping child

mother opens door

This is a well cool thread, I love these Japanese poems, excellent. I shall try to come up with one myself. 17 in total, order 5 7 5, yeah?

Comments from Cher:

1) Snoozie -- I give you so much credit for giving it a try. I really liked your poem. I feel completely talentless in that arena.

2) Chonsi -- You words move me. You have talent combined with such kindness to others that I'm filled with warmth reading your posts. Please keep us updated on your submissions. We are so proud of you and we want to be able to be your cheering section :-4

Galbally wrote: This is a well cool thread, I love these Japanese poems, excellent. I shall try to come up with one myself. 17 in total, order 5 7 5, yeah?
Yes, dear Gallbally. And you can have up to 17 syllables, or less. Doesn't have to be a perfect 5/7/5/, but you are always a 10.

Oh, thank you Cher, you are so sweet. Didn't snooze do a wonderful job? I am waiting for her next one!

chonsigirl wrote: Oh, thank you Cher, you are so sweet. Didn't snooze do a wonderful job? I am waiting for her next one!


Chonsi

Would you consider putting some of your poetry in your Journal? That way we could enjoy it here in the Garden.

You know we are truly your biggest fans :-4

Oh, I could put some I write them all the time.

I see you put them in your Journal. Excellent! :-6

So much for posting

unqualified. Please accept

my apology.

:o

(It's not a good haiku, but it is for you, AC)

Lone Star lad

posts his presence

everyone smiles

chonsigirl wrote:



(It's not a good haiku, but it is for you, AC)



Lone Star lad

posts his presence

everyone smiles

Chonsi

Will you write one for me? :-6

OK - I've not written one of these since school days so keep that in mind....LOL

in ForumGarden

many new friends I have made

gratitude to all



It may not be great, but it's true!!!:)

Beagle wrote: OK - I've not written one of these since school days so keep that in mind....LOL

in ForumGarden

many new friends I have made

gratitude to all



It may not be great, but it's true!!!:)


:-4 Beagle :-4

cherandbuster wrote: :-4 Beagle :-4


Thank you Cher! I've had such a good time since I've been back! A special thanks to you.

:-4 Cher (and Buster):-4

Beagle wrote: OK - I've not written one of these since school days so keep that in mind....LOL



in ForumGarden

many new friends I have made

gratitude to all







It may not be great, but it's true!!!:):yh_clap :yh_clap :yh_clap

Yeah Beagle!:)

*Beagle takes a sweeping bow*

SnoozeControl wrote: Shining dark brown eyes

Looking from her photograph

It's Beagle's beagle!

I'm so bad at this! :wah:


I LOVE it! Thank you!

Go snooze go!:)

thru the night

a speeding bat is flying

owie, didn't see the tree



zinky's haiku

SnoozeControl wrote: :yh_clap


thank you

thank you very much

flick of paw

stops the alarm

snooze control

zinkyusa wrote: thru the night

a speeding bat is flying

owie, didn't see the tree



zinky's haiku


That is really good zinky. :-6

Galbally wrote: This is a well cool thread, I love these Japanese poems, excellent. I shall try to come up with one myself. 17 in total, order 5 7 5, yeah?


You know what, this isn't easy at all.

Galbally wrote: You know what, this isn't easy at all.


dont feel bad, i can't do it either.

SnoozeControl wrote: I'm not letting that stop me!


go kitty go........you are talented enough to write it, my place is to admire the talent......

Oh snooze, that is a good one! Suits Dr. G to a T!

fish pond

in the beautiful garden

guppy’s home

Attached files

chonsigirl wrote: fish pond

in the beautiful garden

guppy’s home


chonsi-you are so sweet. :-4

and you are right. fg is my home.:-6

Accountable's try:

A bull in a china shop!

Yet he's still writing. :wah:

words to encourage

beauty seen from inside out

Cher and her Garden



Someone just tell me that it's *not* absolutely terrible. :guitarist

cherandbuster wrote: words to encourage

beauty seen from inside out

Cher and her Garden





Someone just tell me that it's *not* absolutely terrible. :guitaristI like it.



I like it alot!

Accountable wrote: I like it.



I like it alot!


Acc

my friend :-6

cherandbuster wrote: words to encourage

beauty seen from inside out

Cher and her Garden



Someone just tell me that it's *not* absolutely terrible. :guitarist


Oh, this is so good! What a pretty haiku!:yh_star

chonsigirl wrote: Oh, this is so good! What a pretty haiku!:yh_star


I got a gold star from Chonsi

Accountable wrote: Accountable's try:

A bull in a china shop!

Yet he's still writing. :wah:
:wah:

bric-a-brac

AC is back

*closing eyes*


:-4

This is for my friend Snoozie:



Hard shell to obstruct

goodness and love in her soul

Snooze Control hides well

This is for my friend Chonsigirl:



Depth, love, kindness, peace

On display for all to see

Chonsigirl shares all

This is for my friend Minxsy:



Beauty in the soul

Searching for her one true love

Lies within herself

This is for my friend Pinky:



Laughter overflows

Lighting the fire in others

The Pinkster shines on