Crime against the church!
Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 10:18 am
Okay so after about eight months of NOT going to church my family decides on a whim to go to the 7:30 mass. so I am rudely awakened at 5:00am and commanded to get ready. I drag myself out of bed at around 5:45, so according to my mom were already late. The sun's not even up!
I finally manage to get ready and we're out the door at 6:45. We get to church at 7:15. I fell asleep on the way, so again I am woken up.
We find a pew and sit down. Mass eventually starts. I sit through the first half dozing in and out of half sleep.
Now comes the time for the gifts, (bread and wine, etc.), to be taken to the altar. They always have the same people do this. when one of those people don't show up or can't do it, they pick someone from the crowd.
Guess who they picked?????
So i make my way out of the pew "excuse me, excuse me."
I get to where they need me to be and they give me the bread. so the choir starts to sing and the people carrying the wine start down the aisle. i follow about ten steps behind. while I'm walking i look to my left and see this little kid playing with a rattle.
This is where it all goes wrong.
The kid drops the rattle, it bounces into the aisle and comes to a stop right where my foot is about to land. I react to little to late and i go flying. Despite my best efforts the lid comes off of the cup holding the bread. The bread goes flying down the aisle as i hit the ground flat on my back.
I'll never forget the simultaneous gasp i heard. if it was a different situation i would laughed uncontrollably.
I get up, dust off my pride and see that the Deacon has already begun to collect the spilled bread. so i begin helping him. We get it all cleaned up and he tells me to follow him. we go to a room behind the altar and he tellm me not to worry about it. He opens a cabinet and pulls out a bag full or more bread. he pours it into the cup and tells me to go back to my seat.
On my way i get some of the dirtiest looks you ever see!
The deacon comes out with the new bread and mass continues. People are still turning around to look at me.
Mass ends and we head towards the truck. Remember that kid? His familly is parked right next to us!
The mother sees me and apoligizes. i tell that there's no need, it was just an accident.
Anyway that was my morning! i Hope yours was was better
I finally manage to get ready and we're out the door at 6:45. We get to church at 7:15. I fell asleep on the way, so again I am woken up.
We find a pew and sit down. Mass eventually starts. I sit through the first half dozing in and out of half sleep.
Now comes the time for the gifts, (bread and wine, etc.), to be taken to the altar. They always have the same people do this. when one of those people don't show up or can't do it, they pick someone from the crowd.
Guess who they picked?????
So i make my way out of the pew "excuse me, excuse me."
I get to where they need me to be and they give me the bread. so the choir starts to sing and the people carrying the wine start down the aisle. i follow about ten steps behind. while I'm walking i look to my left and see this little kid playing with a rattle.
This is where it all goes wrong.
The kid drops the rattle, it bounces into the aisle and comes to a stop right where my foot is about to land. I react to little to late and i go flying. Despite my best efforts the lid comes off of the cup holding the bread. The bread goes flying down the aisle as i hit the ground flat on my back.
I'll never forget the simultaneous gasp i heard. if it was a different situation i would laughed uncontrollably.
I get up, dust off my pride and see that the Deacon has already begun to collect the spilled bread. so i begin helping him. We get it all cleaned up and he tells me to follow him. we go to a room behind the altar and he tellm me not to worry about it. He opens a cabinet and pulls out a bag full or more bread. he pours it into the cup and tells me to go back to my seat.
On my way i get some of the dirtiest looks you ever see!
The deacon comes out with the new bread and mass continues. People are still turning around to look at me.
Mass ends and we head towards the truck. Remember that kid? His familly is parked right next to us!
The mother sees me and apoligizes. i tell that there's no need, it was just an accident.
Anyway that was my morning! i Hope yours was was better
All i was supposed to do was take the bread to the altar and hand it to him. It was already there, so my job was done.
:wah: