MamaKram is in da house

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:23 am

Hi guys

I’ve got my Mom here with me on Christmas Eve. Her name is Iris and you may recall that I’ve mentioned her a time or seven. She’s a real sweetie and we’ve never had a falling out apart from a brief spat when she abruptly stopped my pocket money at the age of 45. Even though that Sixpence would have come in handy, my Anger Management Counsellor says I’ve moved on further than expected so I won’t dwell on it too much even though I’d come to depend on it.

I’ve been telling her about the internet (or the telly or video as she calls it) but she doesn’t really understand that you can communicate with people all over the world by typing what you want to say. I’ve told her there are some really wonderful people in this forum. I know some are away for the holiday and I’ve even heard rumours that they have such a thing as a real life !, but for those of you still here, anywhere in the world, my Mom would like to hear from you and she can say hello. I suppose it’s a kind of Ask MamaKram Almost Anything thread.

She always used to get those big books that would have put a strain on the heart of Charles Atlas from the library, you know, the ones with big print . So as she’s 73½, I’m going to be using a larger style than usual. I will be doing the typing but it will be straight from the horses mouth.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:26 am

Hi mom! You're son's definitely an accomplishment you can be proud of. Thank you for him.

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:30 am

She says she thinks I'm great too. She wants me to show you one of her drawings so I'll have to have a look for it

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:32 am

Hi, MamaKram! Good wishes from sunny Southern California, too! We're rather fond of your son....but that doesn't make us bad people!

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:33 am

SnoozeControl;495780 wrote: Hi MamaKram, greetings from Utah! Have a merry Christmas.

She says "Thank You" I've told her you are a personal friend of The Osmonds

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:34 am

Hello Iris.

We love your son here at Forum Garden....i know you're proud of him. We are too and we love him loads.

Have a Grand Christmas

Beryl xxx

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:34 am

(Well, as long as you're lying...tell her that I'M a personal friend of Antonio Banderas's.) :wah:

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:35 am

Lulu2;495783 wrote: Hi, MamaKram! Good wishes from sunny Southern California, too! We're rather fond of your son....but that doesn't make us bad people!

She asked if it was the Lulu who had a hit with Boom-Bang-A-Bang" :wah:

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:37 am

This is the only drawing of my Moms that I can find.

Attached files

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:37 am

Hi MamaKram!:)

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:39 am

Bez;495785 wrote: Hello Iris.

We love your son here at Forum Garden....i know you're proud of him. We are too and we love him loads.

Have a Grand Christmas

Beryl xxx
She thought that was lovely Bez and says the same to you

Do you want to be my Agent ?:D

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:39 am

"She asked if it was the Lulu who had a hit with Boom-Bang-A-Bang"

++++++++++++++++++++ SURE! And I've got a GRAMMY to prove it! (That's the musical award...not a relative sitting on the mantel.):D

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:42 am

chonsigirl;495790 wrote: Hi MamaKram!:)
She just told me that she used to work for some rabbits. Fortunately, this was quickly corrected to working for some people who HAD some rabbits. She said she'd like to cuddle your rabbits and she wouldn't be scared (or frightened) :wah:

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:44 am

...........What a lovely mother you have, Unc'!

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:45 am

SnoozeControl;495792 wrote: Oh yeah, Marie and I are this close:
She said we'll have to sort out one of their records and play it

I'll put it in my diary for February 30th

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:46 am

MamaKram Merry Christmas to you ... We love your son here in the Garden. Has he told you yet that he purchased a lovely "Lazy Boy Recliner" that is just perfect for naps..

Give it a try I'm sure you will enjoy it as well.. Sorry Kram Mom needs a place to relax..

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:46 am

Lulu2;495796 wrote: "She asked if it was the Lulu who had a hit with Boom-Bang-A-Bang"

++++++++++++++++++++ SURE! And I've got a GRAMMY to prove it! (That's the musical award...not a relative sitting on the mantel.):D
My moms got a KRAMMY, A relative sitting on the mantel

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:47 am

So, MamaKram....since we're all friends now--how about telling us some of the naughty things your dear son did as a lad?

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:48 am

chonsigirl;495801 wrote:

...........What a lovely mother you have, Unc'!

She says she'll have to do you a drawing and wish you Merry Christmas

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:50 am

Hi Mama Kram - i hope your well

. Can i ask how old Unk was when he stopped wetting the bed

and at what age did he bring home his first girlfriend :rolleyes:

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:51 am

CARLA;495804 wrote: MamaKram Merry Christmas to you ... We love your son here in the Garden. Has he told you yet that he purchased a lovely "Lazy Boy Recliner" that is just perfect for naps..

Give it a try I'm sure you will enjoy it as well.. Sorry Kram Mom needs a place to relax..

She's already been in it and I had to get her out of it with a crowbar. She says she'd like one but hasn't got enough room:wah:

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:52 am

Was it YOU who bailed him out of the slammer after that embarassing incident with the three sheep, the raincoat and the stripper?

It wasn't?

Oops.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:54 am

Kram as we say in the US make room..:wah: She well have many, many years of comfort in her own "Lazy Boy"... it's great for the circulation to have your legs up during a nap..

[QUOTE]She's already been in it and I had to get her out of it with a crowbar. She says she'd like one but hasn't got enough room[/QUOTE]

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:55 am

(PSSST! MamaK! On second thought....let UncleK have a little nap in his chair and YOU get back online with us! ) :sneaky:

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:56 am

Lulu2;495806 wrote: So, MamaKram....since we're all friends now--how about telling us some of the naughty things your dear son did as a lad?

I'm reminded by her of a weeing competition I had with my cousin. She won because she had a whole Fairy Liquid bottle full of water.

I'm surprised my Mom can remember back 4 years

Here's a pic of her in her new glasses

Attached files

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:59 am

pantsonfire321@aol.com;495810 wrote: Hi Mama Kram - i hope your well

. Can i ask how old Unk was when he stopped wetting the bed

and at what age did he bring home his first girlfriend :rolleyes:She can't remember exactly but she thinks I stopped AFTER I brought my first girlfriend home

I'm cooking us a dinner in a bit. Lamb steaks.Mmmmmmmm

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:00 pm

Oh, that sounds nice for MamaKram. She can have the LazyBoy while you are cooking...........................

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:00 pm

Lulu2;495814 wrote: Was it YOU who bailed him out of the slammer after that embarassing incident with the three sheep, the raincoat and the stripper?

It wasn't?

Oops.
She doesn't know about that. You know what they say. "What happens in Tamworth stays in Tamworth";)

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:03 pm

Lulu2;495817 wrote: (PSSST! MamaK! On second thought....let UncleK have a little nap in his chair and YOU get back online with us! ) :sneaky:
She asked me how she'd speak to you:p

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:04 pm

(Ummmm...UnK....with those glasses on, I suspect your Mum can read what you just wrote all the way from London!) :wah:

Never mind, though....your secret is safe with me!

Got any wine? :sneaky: Show Mum how to use the keyboard, dear, whilst you're cooking/napping.....

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:06 pm

She's telling me about the lads at school who played football with her buns because the fat she needed had been rationed. If I had a pound for every time I'd heard this story, I'd have £748

Like her new hairdo?

Attached files

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:10 pm

Poor MamaK! Raising YOU has clearly been hard on her!

SHOW MUM HOW TO USE THE KEYBOARD, DEAR!

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:11 pm

Lulu2;495831 wrote: (Ummmm...UnK....with those glasses on, I suspect your Mum can read what you just wrote all the way from London!) :wah:

Never mind, though....your secret is safe with me!

Got any wine? :sneaky: Show Mum how to use the keyboard, dear, whilst you're cooking/napping.....I can't get the wine out because I'm too big now for her to carry me up the stairs

Last time she had any wine, she complained of seeing dots before her eyes

Attached files

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:13 pm

Lulu2;495838 wrote: Poor MamaK! Raising YOU has clearly been hard on her!

SHOW MUM HOW TO USE THE KEYBOARD, DEAR!
OK here goes

dhyeh nnhhet5 jjkwkkk h= hdbvx gnef1wg xm1jhedv x

That's easy for her to say :rolleyes: Gonna put the Lamb steaks on . Back in a jiffy

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:14 pm

Poor Mum! Clearly, she's given you the best years of her life AND her health!

Come to my place, Iris and I'll give you a proper glass of wine! And we'll swap stories. Yesssss.......

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:17 pm

Uncle Kram;495771 wrote: Hi guys

I’ve got my Mom here with me on Christmas Eve. Her name is Iris and you may recall that I’ve mentioned her a time or seven. She’s a real sweetie and we’ve never had a falling out apart from a brief spat when she abruptly stopped my pocket money at the age of 45. Even though that Sixpence would have come in handy, my Anger Management Counsellor says I’ve moved on further than expected so I won’t dwell on it too much even though I’d come to depend on it.

I’ve been telling her about the internet (or the telly or video as she calls it) but she doesn’t really understand that you can communicate with people all over the world by typing what you want to say. I’ve told her there are some really wonderful people in this forum. I know some are away for the holiday and I’ve even heard rumours that they have such a thing as a real life !, but for those of you still here, anywhere in the world, my Mom would like to hear from you and she can say hello. I suppose it’s a kind of Ask MamaKram Almost Anything thread.

She always used to get those big books that would have put a strain on the heart of Charles Atlas from the library, you know, the ones with big print . So as she’s 73½, I’m going to be using a larger style than usual. I will be doing the typing but it will be straight from the horses mouth.

It might be best I left until she goes to bed.

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:26 pm

Lulu2;495843 wrote: Poor Mum! Clearly, she's given you the best years of her life AND her health!

Come to my place, Iris and I'll give you a proper glass of wine! And we'll swap stories. Yesssss.......
She thinks a girls night in would be nice:rolleyes:

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:26 pm

Nomad;495847 wrote: It might be best I left until she goes to bed.

It's OK Nomad, she likes the wild hairdo on your sig pic:wah:

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:27 pm

Hi MamaKram, is he looking after you well this evening?

Tell me Mamakram, have you got any tips for raising a well balanced, charming delightful man? :-2

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:32 pm

Betty Boop;495853 wrote: Hi MamaKram, is he looking after you well this evening?

Tell me Mamakram, have you got any tips for raising a well balanced, charming delightful man? :-2

She says Show your love. help as much as you can, don't hesitate to give anything you've got

Blimey...it's almost poetic :wah:

She says I'm looking after her very well...oh ok......I put the "very" in

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:36 pm

Hiya Iris, welcome to FG,

You have a very lovely son:-4 (despite being a Villa nut!)

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:40 pm

Oh alright, I'll ask.

When you were giving birth, did the doctor tell your husband "Your Iris is dialated"? I'll bet they had a good laugh at that.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:41 pm

Mama Kram

I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine that the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population gets more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots. Once there was a big fire and everyone died.

Do you ever watch paint dry ?

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:45 pm

Pinky;495860 wrote: Hi Iris! Hope you're having a lovely evening, Merry Xmas!
She says Same to you with brass knobs on and a happy new year.

Ok Ok...the brass knobs bit was my idea........seemed mildly amusing at the time:o Told her your husband was named Perky :wah:

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:50 pm

UncleK, Dear....are you absolutely CERTAIN you've not been at the wine? :wah:

(Brass knobs, perky.....woooo hoooo)

+++++++++++ And then, there's Accountable....."irises dilated" indeed! TRY TO BEHAVE!

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:51 pm

abbey;495863 wrote: Hiya Iris, welcome to FG,

You have a very lovely son:-4 (despite being a Villa nut!)

She wants me to wish you a happy new year and Christmas ( but not necessarily in that order)....oh hold on....news just coming in....Tell them I think you're great as well, she's saying.....I'll keep you updated as this story develops

She's sitting in my recliner drawing now. Hey Abs, she's an Aston Villa nut as well...........well, if you count going to one game (Villa 6 - Ipswich 1) as dedicated :wah:

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 12:53 pm

Accountable;495867 wrote: Oh alright, I'll ask.

When you were giving birth, did the doctor tell your husband "Your Iris is dialated"? I'll bet they had a good laugh at that.

:yh_rotfl Whenever you need a classic, Acc ALWAYS delivers :yh_rotfl