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As i passed the t.v i heard a comment - where are all the men's men nowardays, what is a man's man?

I believe it's short form for the kind of man that men think they should be... as the kind of man that women tell them they should be. :yh_giggle I still find it funny that the sensitive man became popular then women rejected him. Women kind of like a "man's man" too. A least one that doesn't cry more often than they do.

Magenta flame;498297 wrote: they are probably referring to the Alfa males. Men that other men look to for moral advice and wisdom.


If that were the case Magenta then they are saying there are no men left that can be looked at for moral advice & wisdom

It must be something else.

buttercup;498295 wrote: As i passed the t.v i heard a comment - where are all the men's men nowardays, what is a man's man?


I watched that program, it was all about how us men don't understand who we are any more apparently. Its not booze, birds, chips, and fights anymore; its moisturizer, pelagrino fizzy water, salads, and monogamy. I say its all bollocks!, its just TV people talking nonsense as usual, men are whoever they want to be, (or whoever their wife lets them be), its just some different things are expected of men now (just like women), but I think most of us are still men (even if we do wear deodorant now). I suppose thats a very male attitude! :rolleyes:

Walk it off.

A sentence from an article I read yesterday about how more psychologists are realizing not every man has to "open up" or the world will cave in around them.

The jist of it was bang your head on the hood of the car...walk it off

Too much overtime at work...walk it off

Wife leaves you...walk it off

I find that appealing in a way.

A mans man is a man who is self reliant and walks through life with confidence. Even if he made a wrong choice he made his decision and thats that. He'll pay the piper when the piper is due.

Nomad;498305 wrote: Walk it off.

A sentence from an article I read yesterday about how more psychologists are realizing not every man has to "open up" or the world will cave in around them.

The jist of it was bang your head on the hood of the car...walk it off

Too much overtime at work...walk it off

Wife leaves you...walk it off

I find that appealing in a way.

A mans man is a man who is self reliant and walks through life with confidence. Even if he made a wrong choice he made his decision and thats that. He'll pay the piper when the piper is due.


I agree, though taking responsibility for yourself and not crying about every little thing that goes wrong is not just a man thing, its an adult thing no? I suppose talking about things when something difficult happens is healthy, but also sometimes talking about your feelings is just that, (talking for the sake of it).

All this therapy culture seems to have really gone a bit daft to me, specially when people start bringing depressed parrots into the animal doctor. Just shoot polly I say, and then get a new one thats more cheerful. (Maybe this is why my animal therapy career never took off?)

Nomad;498305 wrote: Walk it off.

A sentence from an article I read yesterday about how more psychologists are realizing not every man has to "open up" or the world will cave in around them.

The jist of it was bang your head on the hood of the car...walk it off

Too much overtime at work...walk it off

Wife leaves you...walk it off

I find that appealing in a way.

A mans man is a man who is self reliant and walks through life with confidence. Even if he made a wrong choice he made his decision and thats that. He'll pay the piper when the piper is due.


I agree with you Nomad. Or it could just be a gay man's lover.

Magenta flame;498315 wrote: i'm an extremely lucky woman I have an Alfa male for a husband


Don't you mean "Alpha"? I thought alfa was a kind of grass in America or something, or maybe you were just being cutting (ahem) about your hubby? :wah:

Magenta flame;498315 wrote: i'm an extremely lucky woman I have an Alfa male for a husband


Oh i see you are an aquarian, so am i, we are supposed to make quite difficult wife's :yh_giggle

buttercup;498319 wrote: Oh i see you are an aquarian, so am i, we are supposed to make quite difficult wife's :yh_giggle


Really? Why, are you naggy? Don't worry they are all like that.

Magenta flame;498325 wrote: Well excuse me mr. dictionary:wah: I'm trying to do three things at once here and my typing is going ten to a dozen.

Buttercup when any man tries to 'come on to me' I point to my husbands grey hair and say "have a look what I've done to him":wah:


Sorry I used to be an editor in a previous life, I can't help myself, also being picky is probably a fairly normal male attribute, like enjoying car engines, contact sports, things connected with war, and women. :rolleyes:

Ah'm gaunny get pelters for this, but- " A man's man is a man who knows the proper place for a woman - the kitchen"

Growing up I learned a "man's man" is one who is nice enough to women but still regards them as secondary to men and as nothing more than little toys who cook, clean, assuage him and give him sex at will. They were business type men who also hunted, drank, BSed each other and ran a hard bargain. They weren't a man for a woman or another "good" man to respect. That was my take. I hope I'm mistaken.



I'll take a regular man with faults and some unsavory attributes who tries hard and often succeeds, who likes animals and women and his mother and has a good sense of self and the world around him. I think these talking heads on TV were spouting nonsense.

Nomad, I can't agree with walking everything off. Some things sure, but that sounds like men are supposed to bottle up crap and never explode and if you don't explode you'll implode. Either way is messy and unhealthy.

Growing up I learned a "man's man" is one who is nice enough to women but still regards them as secondary to men and as nothing more than little toys who cook, clean, assuage him and give him sex at will. They were business type men who also hunted, drank, BSed each other and ran a hard bargain. They weren't a man for a woman or another "good" man to respect. That was my take. I hope I'm mistaken.





No, I think you got it just about right. But its a stereotype, we are not as one-dimensional as all that. I also am quite sure that a good woman knows a good man when she sees one, and if she goes for the other type then its her own problem (and visa versa of course).

Galbally;498373 wrote:



No, I think you got it just about right. But its a stereotype, we are not as one-dimensional as all that. I also am quite sure that a good woman knows a good man when she sees one, and if she goes for the other type then its her own problem (and visa versa of course).


Absolutely right - before I married I went out with a few so-called man's man, not really my type at all. I'm not saying that my husband is any less of a man than them because he isn't - he's just different. He doesn't drink heavily, go out with male friends leaving me behind etc he is a good man who is loving, supportive and shares the responsibilities of running a home and caring for a family. A man's man probably wouldn't be so good and understanding when I am having bad days and can't do much - hubby just picks up the iron or gets out the hoover and gets on with it. That's what I need more than a macho bloke who doesn't know one end of a duster from the other!!

Is there a female equivalent? A woman's woman?

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves on one of the bedroom walls, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall.

She's immediately touched by the amount of thought he's put into organizing the display. There are small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She finds it strange for a young man to have such a large collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.

All the while she's thinking to herself ... This is wonderful! Maybe this guy could be the one! Maybe he could father my children!...etc.

She turns to him...they kiss.. and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.

The woman rolls over, strokes his chest and asks coyly, ............

"Well, how was it?"

The guy says: "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."

koan;498627 wrote: A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.



They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves on one of the bedroom walls, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall.



She's immediately touched by the amount of thought he's put into organizing the display. There are small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She finds it strange for a young man to have such a large collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.



All the while she's thinking to herself ... This is wonderful! Maybe this guy could be the one! Maybe he could father my children!...etc.



She turns to him...they kiss.. and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.



The woman rolls over, strokes his chest and asks coyly, ............



"Well, how was it?"



The guy says: "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."


lamorofl....:wah: a man's man of the finest....:wah:

Nice one, I like that. I must get that teddy bear shelf dusted (you never know). :wah:

Jack Handy says:

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

I think what bothers me about the "manly man" vs the "sensitive man" is this sense that manliness is somehow being seen as bad. Something not to be desired. It depends what one thinks is a male quality. I, personally, can think of many things about men that are desirable and that I don't think need to change.

The sensitive man movement, which was co-ordinated alongside the women's rights movement somehow had the effect of implying that feminine qualities were better than masculine qualities. It came up earlier in the thread as to whether or not there is a female equivalent to the man's man expression. Yes. It's a girlie girl. Women who spend all their time trying to improve their appearance, studying Martha Stewart instead of mathematics. Girls who rate their own and other women's value based on who they are dating.

Even though these are stereotypes they do still exist in society. As far as I'm concerned, men and women are both masculine and feminine and balancing both is a matter of individual effort. A good measure of how well we are doing towards balancing our personalities and whether or not stereotypes are accurate is to look at product marketing. Women buy makeup and perfume and men buy cars. Whatever. What we really need to do is get over ourselves and stop being so concerned with what we are supposed to do or want. If women stop grading men based on how much money they make and men stop grading women on their appearance then we will be further ahead. Anyone who thinks that society isn't like that needs to look around. We treat ourselves and others as commodities and don't want to undersell ourselves.

I don't do this. Maybe you don't do this but I can guarantee you that a lot of people do. And they don't even realise it.

Pinky;498654 wrote: I've never really seen people like that either Koan, people are just people as they are, money and people who constantly point out what they have don't impress me at all, if i like someone I like them no matter what the world judges them as. I have quite a variety of friends, some are colleagues from school, some are bikers, some I've just met on the off chance and kept in touch with.


Perhaps I've seen more of it because I worked in film, tv and fashion. People obsessed with themselves. Their entire career is based on who they are and what they look like. Two of my friends when I was in Toronto were trying to make it as models. They only ever talked about guys they were dating and actually turned their noses up when I told them I wasn't dating anyone. I insisted that I was happy being single but they didn't seem to get it. I'm not making this up.

I recently heard someone complaining because she was dating two guys and didn't know which one she should go for. Does anyone else see a problem with that question? First of all, go for the one you think you love. If you don't know then go with the one you feel like ****ing because that's all she is really doing. I've listened to women discuss boyfriends as if they were a shopping list.

I guess I'm just having a rant.

Pinky;498660 wrote: Personally, I can't stand those kind of people..I'd rather chew my own toenails off than have to make conversation with any of them for five minutes.

If there's one thing that really winds me up, it's superficiality paired wth a superior attitude. My best friends' other friends are all like that, and I just don't go round if I know any of them are going to be there, as I can't keep my sarcasm to myself!


I know. But their very existence draws out manly men and justifies their existence. To fill the need. It's like women that actually "sleep their way to the top" continuing to make the work world a tougher place for the honest folk. These women also go around damaging men in the same way that abusive men go about damaging women. It's worth getting mad about, imo.

koan;498627 wrote: A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.



They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves on one of the bedroom walls, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall.



She's immediately touched by the amount of thought he's put into organizing the display. There are small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She finds it strange for a young man to have such a large collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.



All the while she's thinking to herself ... This is wonderful! Maybe this guy could be the one! Maybe he could father my children!...etc.



She turns to him...they kiss.. and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.



The woman rolls over, strokes his chest and asks coyly, ............



"Well, how was it?"



The guy says: "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."


:yh_rotfl

Teddy bears= great joke Koan! :wah:



I like men to just be themselves and I can pick and choose the ones for me, be it a lover or a friend. I don't see men as "types of", they're just men and just people with all different ways of being.

Pinky;499092 wrote: Go for something that at least looks classy.


Does that explain why I'm single (again)?

Pinky;499092 wrote: I know exactly what you mean, it's my opinion too.

I've watched nice guys hunted down and suckered in by these leeches, who are purely after status and money...it makes me want to puke. As soon as the next 'rung on the ladder' comes along, they're ditched or if they're lucky, the suss out the skanks and dump them...who can blame them?



I guess it's similar to guys going for the socially desirable barbie type because subconciously he wants everyone to think he's successful...in truth, all that tells the world is that the guy is a superficial d!ckwad.

Wanna look successful? Go for something that at least looks classy.:rolleyes:


As always Pinky, you have such a wonderful way with words! :wah:

Pinky;499101 wrote: Well, I speak my mind! I'm a pretty honest sort of person...no beating about the bush with me!


I know and thats why we love ya! :-4

Pinky;499108 wrote: Aw, thanks mate!:-4

Can't wait to see you again in a month's time!

A MONTH'S TIME!!!! WOOHOO!!!!


Fingers crossed! Hopefully I'll find my way! :rolleyes:

Pinky;499124 wrote: You'll be fine...it should be pretty straightforward from where you are. A couple of motorways and you're there! C'mon, if a total spud like me can get to Cornwall (albeit a bit late) then you can get to Birmingham!


If I get to John o'groats then I've gone too far huh? :wah:

Turn right at Shrewsbury an she'll be OK Bruce.

"If there's one thing that really winds me up, it's superficiality paired wth a superior attitude."

PINKS! That's brilliant! So appropriate to so many things.

Lulu2;499238 wrote: "If there's one thing that really winds me up, it's superficiality paired wth a superior attitude."

PINKS! That's brilliant! So appropriate to so many things.


Yes, ignorance and arrogance (that heady mix) seems to be a classic combination in many people, especially men of a certain type. Know what I mean?

Pinky;499246 wrote: Oh, surely not you Dr G...we could hardly call you ignorant, could we?;)


Oh I wasn't referring to myself, I try not to be too pompous or self regarding, though being a man its sometimes inevitable. I am your fairly normal, bookish, cheerful, sciency and low level violent Irish type guy.

Pinky;499261 wrote: :wah:

I remember you advising me not to get taken in by arrogant types, and I've paid attention so far, so thanks! You seem to try and epitomise what you recommend, which is a good sign of good advice!:-4


Indeed.

Pinky;499278 wrote: Well, it's working so far, so keep it up!!;)


Oh, its just the way I am luckily so I don't have to think too much about it. Anyways, real men also know when its time for bed, which is now for me, you take care Pinky, and everyone else, will talk to you soon, I don't know how busy I will be for the next few days, but i will drop in.