Your House Is At Risk.
Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 12:40 am
‘Good Morning. Deep Blue Sea Trust UK National House-Owner Loans. Vicky speaking. How can I help you?’
‘My name is Mr Prendergast. I’d like a loan please.’
‘Are you a house-owner or mortgage holder?’
‘Yes. ’
‘How can I help you.’
‘I’d like to borrow some money. Say five thousand pounds’
‘That’s a very small amount. You can’t have many C.C.J’s.’
‘C.D.’s? About two hundred.’
‘Not C.D.’s C.C.J’s.’
‘Sorry. I don’t think I quite……’
‘County Court Judgements.’
‘What for?’
‘Debt, money owing. For furniture, music centres, holidays, things like that.’
‘I haven’t got any then.’
‘No C.C.J’s? We normally insist on C.C.J’s. I’m not sure if we accept clients without them, I’ll just check.’
Music. Vivaldi.
‘Sorry to keep you. The supervisor says we might still be able to help you if other criteria are acceptable. We can’t be too careful you see.’
‘Of course.’
‘Mortgage arrears?’
‘Well none. You see I’ve not got a mortgage. I paid it off last year.’
‘Oh dear. Credit rating?’
‘What’s that?’
‘Have you ever been refused a loan?’
‘I’ve never asked for one before.’
‘You’re making it very difficult for me.’
‘Sorry.’
‘You are self employed with no records I hope.’
‘No. I’m a planning officer with the local council.’
‘Just started?’
‘No I’ve been there twenty four years.’
‘What charges are there against your house at the Land Registry and how much of the equity have you surrendered for an annuity?’
‘None. There are no charges against my house at all.’
‘Ah. I’m sorry Mr Prendergast, I should have realised it earlier. You wish to consolidate?’
‘Pardon.’
‘The Credit Cards. Your cards have got out of control and you wish to consolidate the debts. Consolidate means you pay us instead of them and you clear your credit cards. That’s a nice feeling isn’t it, when you’re out in town on a Saturday with a nice high unused credit limit. We can arrange that all right. Which cards have you got?’
‘I haven’t got a Credit Card.’
‘You sound too good to be true Mr Prendergast. There’s not much chance of you getting in arrears on a loan is there?’
‘I hope not, no.’
‘I’m sorry. We can’t help you.’
‘It almost sounds as if you only lend money to people who get into trouble and then you can take their houses from them.’
‘Now why would we want to do that? Goodbye.’
Peter :-5
The Tortoise and the Hare
‘My name is Mr Prendergast. I’d like a loan please.’
‘Are you a house-owner or mortgage holder?’
‘Yes. ’
‘How can I help you.’
‘I’d like to borrow some money. Say five thousand pounds’
‘That’s a very small amount. You can’t have many C.C.J’s.’
‘C.D.’s? About two hundred.’
‘Not C.D.’s C.C.J’s.’
‘Sorry. I don’t think I quite……’
‘County Court Judgements.’
‘What for?’
‘Debt, money owing. For furniture, music centres, holidays, things like that.’
‘I haven’t got any then.’
‘No C.C.J’s? We normally insist on C.C.J’s. I’m not sure if we accept clients without them, I’ll just check.’
Music. Vivaldi.
‘Sorry to keep you. The supervisor says we might still be able to help you if other criteria are acceptable. We can’t be too careful you see.’
‘Of course.’
‘Mortgage arrears?’
‘Well none. You see I’ve not got a mortgage. I paid it off last year.’
‘Oh dear. Credit rating?’
‘What’s that?’
‘Have you ever been refused a loan?’
‘I’ve never asked for one before.’
‘You’re making it very difficult for me.’
‘Sorry.’
‘You are self employed with no records I hope.’
‘No. I’m a planning officer with the local council.’
‘Just started?’
‘No I’ve been there twenty four years.’
‘What charges are there against your house at the Land Registry and how much of the equity have you surrendered for an annuity?’
‘None. There are no charges against my house at all.’
‘Ah. I’m sorry Mr Prendergast, I should have realised it earlier. You wish to consolidate?’
‘Pardon.’
‘The Credit Cards. Your cards have got out of control and you wish to consolidate the debts. Consolidate means you pay us instead of them and you clear your credit cards. That’s a nice feeling isn’t it, when you’re out in town on a Saturday with a nice high unused credit limit. We can arrange that all right. Which cards have you got?’
‘I haven’t got a Credit Card.’
‘You sound too good to be true Mr Prendergast. There’s not much chance of you getting in arrears on a loan is there?’
‘I hope not, no.’
‘I’m sorry. We can’t help you.’
‘It almost sounds as if you only lend money to people who get into trouble and then you can take their houses from them.’
‘Now why would we want to do that? Goodbye.’
Peter :-5
The Tortoise and the Hare