ForumGarden

Reading Capt buzzards story about getting locked out of the house in the buff made me think about all the embarrassing things i've said or done (i do tend to be a bit accident prone).

So i wondered if any of you gardeners had any stories to relate?

My most embarassing moment was when I was caught at 7am peeing behind a fence, at the home of Dr.****** and Mrs. **** landscaping clients of mine in Virginia. As I looked into the good DRs eyes, I remember thinking.. ( Through my complete humiliation..) Oh well, he is after all a doctor, and dear God. "Please dont let him fire me, and Oh MY! how will I ever look at him again. As it were.. I simply looked at him and said" Oh, Am I in your spot?" I knew Dr. **** had a very perverse sence of humor.



In my defense I must add..... I AM NOT A DOG...... She was out of town, I knew.. and he was SUPPOSED to be at the hospital. And actually.. think about it.. When we who work outdoors do not have access to the bathroom.. Where do you think we pee? I actually have peed across most of the Shenendoah Valley. Ha HA hA hA hA

Now that IS a pissa...LOL X

Using the wrong word to get a point across? Udder intstead of Utter to speak not cow nipple? There have been a few interesting wordly errors here for me. Hello where are my followers, what else did i mis-spell? I do stupid things at times, it keeps me young! I can admit it too! :-6

Have to say i have quite a few, one of my most memorable ones that still makes me blush happened a few years ago.

I'd met this very dishy guy who worked in a bar in Manchester, we'd go out to a nightclub after he'd finished work & got on fantastic, when you're younger you always think "this is the one" and i was really excited about him, we had'nt yet been "intimate" but we were working up to it.

One day i started to feel poorly, i got worse over the day and could'nt walk because of the pain in my stomach so my friend called an ambulance and i was taken to hospital.

I was poked & prodded asked all sorts of questions, they suspected that my appendix had ruptured, i was stripped, given a gown, put my legs in stirrups & told i was to have a doctor examine me and the examination would entail a rectal examination.

The doctor came in, and he was the guy that i'd been seeing i dont think anyones managed to close their while they where in stirrups before :wah: turns out he was working in the bar to help pay for his accomadation.

Needless to say i never saw him again,

By the way, i was fine i was finally diagnosed as having systitis........

Cystitis, is that what you said? You know what that is and the area involved. I was once a young female too, it is congestion in the urinary track? ouch. That is a good one?

To be honest I don't think I would be allowed to post mine... In brief and hopefully not too upsetting for anyone.

First time with current boyfriend, lost the protection and refused to go to hospital to find it.

It all ended well though... It was found.

Hope you all get the jist of that

Oh well its no different than a bug stuck in yur ear, you had a good time thats all that counts? This could be embarassing-understood. i never did that before :wah: ya right.

My most embarrassing moment was when I was 13 and everything seemed to be embarrassing. I was on a trip to Disney with my male cousin and my Aunt. We had come to visit them on occassion, but I'd never travelled with them, and it was a long 13 hour boring trip. We played cards and a couple of other games to pass the time, but then we started playing hide and seek with a beanbag of my cousin's. At one point, I thought I spied it in his pocket, but as soon as I gleefully grabbed it, I realized it was not the bean bag

Paula wrote: Oh well its no different than a bug stuck in yur ear, you had a good time thats all that counts? This could be embarassing-understood. i never did that before :wah: ya right.
There is no way I would be as embarassed if it had been a bug stuck in my ear. That I wouldn't mind going to hospital for :wah:

rachelg wrote: My most embarrassing moment was when I was 13 and everything seemed to be embarrassing. I was on a trip to Disney with my male cousin and my Aunt. We had come to visit them on occassion, but I'd never travelled with them, and it was a long 13 hour boring trip. We played cards and a couple of other games to pass the time, but then we started playing hide and seek with a beanbag of my cousin's. At one point, I thought I spied it in his pocket, but as soon as I gleefully grabbed it, I realized it was not the bean bag


What was it, help me out?

Okay... here's another peeing one...

I was all dressed up and riding my horse in the parade. Big parade, sunny

day, crowd lining the sidewalks. You get the picture. Well, I had a boy horse,

and he had to pee. So he did. Boy horses stretch out to pee, and they pee

A LOT. Bad enough, but it got worse. You know how roads are "crowned"

a little bit for run-off purposes, well this boy horse pee started heading towards

the side of the road, where approx. half a ZILLION little kids were sitting on the

curb with their feet in the gutter. Boy horse pee comes toward them, much

jumping up and running and screaming ensued.

What'd I do? Pulled my cowboy hat down over my face, of course!!

Got my head stuck in a revolving door when I was about 12. No damage done, just my pride.

I was to drunk at the time to care but somehow I did not take my paints off to take a leak.

Best friend came over with his girlfriend and I was still in that pair of pants. Anyway, I was more embarased years later when she retold the story to my homecomming date.

Lotto

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MagicZ4941A

koan wrote: Got my head stuck in a revolving door when I was about 12. No damage done, just my pride.
:wah: How on earth??

My mum used to live in a row of terraced cottages & i walked into the house next to hers by mistake & caught the lady of the house "entertaining" the local vicar

koan wrote: Got my head stuck in a revolving door when I was about 12. No damage done, just my pride.


Koan, i would not have told anyone that?

Paula wrote: Udder intstead of Utter to speak not cow nipple?


What? Surely you don't mean the udder is the nipple, do you? Since you are apparently speaking in tongues, it's hard to know what you do mean. Please clarify.

Paula wrote: Koan, i would not have told anyone that?


But you and I are, thankfully, quite different.

Bill Sikes wrote: What? Surely you don't mean the udder is the nipple, do you? Since you are apparently speaking in tongues, it's hard to know what you do mean. Please clarify.


Lets get embarassed, i am now confused a cow nipple is an Udder, to Utter is to Speak! Thats what i thought!

Paula wrote: Lets get embarassed, i am now confused a cow nipple is an Udder, to Utter is to Speak! Thats what i thought!


Ah. I see. Not sure your "anatomy of cows" is spot-on, though.

I embarrass myself so often that I've become adept at forgetting the incidents. Still, I'll share two.



One night we were sitting around the table, and my son was playing with his food, as usual. I was trying to convince him to eat his peas. "Look," I said, "They are so bright and green, like perfect tiny rocks. I bet they are Martian rocks..." and whatever else I could think of to catch his interest.



I had to run to the kitchen for something, and I remember saying, "They are Happy Peas!" When I turned to look at him, he was busy shoving a pea up his nostril...Boys! I tell ya!



The problem was that we couldn't get the pea out of his nose. Ewwww! The call to the hospital went like this, "Wellllll....my 5 year old shoved a pea up his nose and it's stuck....Yes, a pea.....No, a garden pea, the kind you eat....Yes, I'm serious..."



We were the laughing stock of the emergency room that night. My son still refers to peas as Happy Peas, making it impossible to forget this one.



The next story is fairly recent, so I haven't managed to get rid of the memory yet. My friend told me that she was going to Target with her mom to pick up some storage shelves after work. I happened to run into her at Target as she was coming down the escalator with another woman. The woman had grey hair, and I never looked at her face closely.



So, when they reached the bottom, I politely held out my hand, and said, "Oh, is this your mother?" Only to look directly into the face of a much younger woman.



Target floors are not equipped to swallow you whole; I know, because I surely tried. My friend didn't help any when she burst into fits of snorting laughter. There is no way you can recover from this kind of error....I gracefully stuttered and turned bright red, and wished lightening would strike me.



:o

Unfortunately, my most embarrassing moment happened only a few weeks ago.

My fiance and I were at his clubhouse. We were playing pool, and just hanging out with everyone, and play-boxing. He'd pretend to cuff me in the head, I'd come back with a jab to the ribs....Welllll....at one point he came at me and tried to grab me, and I threw a kick at him. He is VERY fast, and grabbed my foot. I was laughing so hard I wasn't aware of how close I was to the wall, and I turned really fast to try to "spin" out of his hold, and slammed my head right into the wall and knocked myself out cold. According to the story I was told, I straightened up, my eyes rolled back in my head, and I went down face first. Luckily my fiance was right there, because he caught me and kept me from bouncing my head off the floor, too. I guess I was out for several minutes, and even after I came around, I kept asking him, "Did you get whoever it was that hit me?" :yh_blush

BabyRider wrote: Unfortunately, my most embarrassing moment happened only a few weeks ago.

My fiance and I were at his clubhouse. We were playing pool, and just hanging out with everyone, and play-boxing. He'd pretend to cuff me in the head, I'd come back with a jab to the ribs....Welllll....at one point he came at me and tried to grab me, and I threw a kick at him. He is VERY fast, and grabbed my foot. I was laughing so hard I wasn't aware of how close I was to the wall, and I turned really fast to try to "spin" out of his hold, and slammed my head right into the wall and knocked myself out cold. According to the story I was told, I straightened up, my eyes rolled back in my head, and I went down face first. Luckily my fiance was right there, because he caught me and kept me from bouncing my head off the floor, too. I guess I was out for several minutes, and even after I came around, I kept asking him, "Did you get whoever it was that hit me?" :yh_blush


Are you the one who Bow Hunts, Rides Motorcyles? and you have a Black-Belt in Karate? Be nice now. :-6

Bump.

Ahhhh...more good stories!!