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This is a fluff thread, huh? Sorry.

I saw this girl once. She had taken a chain and attached one end to her earring, snorted the other end up her nose and down her throat, pulled it out of her mouth and brought the other end back to her earring.

I thought it was so cool.

So I spent ten minutes in front of the mirror trying to snort this gold chain up my nose and I almost had it but it tickled and it made me sneeze so I lost it. I never could get it right. Not to mention the gross factor.

I don't know what I was thinking. Sometimes I'm given to stupid things.

But it still looked cool to me.

I tried to pop the rod out of a bicycle chain link with an ice pick...

...

Needless to say I had to get the ice pick out of my finger...

K.Snyder;627667 wrote: I tried to pop the rod out of a bicycle chain link with an ice pick...

...

Needless to say I had to get the ice pick out of my finger...


Did it go all the way through?

Why were you doing that anyway?

RedGlitter;627668 wrote: Did it go all the way through?

Why were you doing that anyway?


Yeah it went through my finger...

I was trying to fix the chain...

I was about 13 and I didn't have the tool to fix chain links...When I want to do something nothing gets in my way...Except the hospital...

K.Snyder;627669 wrote: When I want to do something nothing gets in my way...Except the hospital...


:wah:...Er...sorry. I'm not laughing.

Okay, yes I am. :wah:

I remember a time when i was cleaning the bathroom and our bath was old and never looked properly white. i had used the last of a bath cleaner and thought that wont be enough so added some bleach, totally forgetting you should never mix different cleaning agents, chemicals etc. It took about 30 seconds for me to realise what i had done, My eyes starting burning, my throat and chest felt like they were closing up, i quickly got out of there but i honestly thought i was dying:wah: :wah:

I once applied a menthol rub to the inner side of my upper thigh in an attempt to salve an over-worked muscle. I was a bit too liberal with the application and accidentally made contact with...well, an organ not meant to be slathered with Icy Hot, okay? I spent the ensuing 15 minutes or so naked in front of the basin scooping handsfull of tap water onto my nethers and howling like the small-brained primate I evidently am.

i helped out a woman i was doing a roof for her sink was blocked so being the super hero i am i said ,fear not i shall unblock your sink fair lady ,she said i have just had new wooden flooring fitted whatever you do dont get any water on the floor



super hero does his best scoff mocking laugh and then says i am a general handy man i've unblocked more of these than you have had hot dinners



so i got a bucket undone all the trap pipes under the sink ,carefully catching every single drop of water :-6



the lady said oh you are clever





so then i promptly tipped the bucket of water into the sink ,yes i had not put the pipes back on yet and dirty filthy fatty water flooded her whole newly floored kitchen :-5 :-5





exit a red faced not so super hero

jimbo;627764 wrote: i helped out a woman i was doing a roof for her sink was blocked so being the super hero i am i said ,fear not i shall unblock your sink fair lady ,she said i have just had new wooden flooring fitted whatever you do dont get any water on the floor



super hero does his best scoff mocking laugh and then says i am a general handy man i've unblocked more of these than you have had hot dinners



so i got a bucket undone all the trap pipes under the sink ,carefully catching every single drop of water :-6



the lady said oh you are clever





so then i promptly tipped the bucket of water into the sink ,yes i had not put the pipes back on yet and dirty filthy fatty water flooded her whole newly floored kitchen :-5





exit a red faced not so super hero


:wah: I feel for you. It's always the worst when you mess up while you're trying to do a favor for someone. Doubly so when they're good about it and mutter thanks for your efforts when you know all they really want to do is screech.

Where to start ? :rolleyes:

Oh god, here I go. This is incredibly stupid, incredibly embarrassing, because I went against all common sense in the world. So here's one, and only one, of the dumbest things I've ever done.....

I used to work in a really, really busy restaurant in the summers. Full of tourists, that sort of thing. We had several people to one table and the waiting line to get in the restaurant would go all the way outside. High turnover and not much time to make any stupid mistakes.

Anyway, I was in a huge hurry because this dope for a woman wanted warmed milk to go in her coffee. Weird to me, but whatever. So in my rush I took the little metal milk container that was on their table and threw it in the microwave for 15 seconds. Metal, mind you. I didn't even think about it.

I opened up the microwave door and grabbed for the container. It burned the skin right off my thumb. More like melted it off!

I didn't even have enough time to tend to it, I grabbed a plastic container, put some milk in it, warmed it, and off I went to the table, all the while screaming inside 'cause my thumb felt like it was on fire.

After serving them I went back into the kitchen and shoved my thumb in a bucket of ice and howled!!!

I got the "Most Dedicated to Customers" award that month and wasn't I embarrassed!! :wah: :wah: :yh_blush

Ai-yi-yi! I'm having sympathy pains over here! I'm surprised the microwave didn't explode before you had a chance to injure yourself.

Kitchen work can be damned dangerous. Slick floors, burners, boiling liquids...{shudder!}

I, Rob;627892 wrote: Ai-yi-yi! I'm having sympathy pains over here! I'm surprised the microwave didn't explode before you had a chance to injure yourself.

Kitchen work can be damned dangerous. Slick floors, burners, boiling liquids...{shudder!}


No kidding. I'm surprised it didn't blow up either, or create sparks, whatever. The burnt thumb was probably the least of what could've happened.

Working in a restaurant serving lots of ritsy-titsy people can be such a thankless job. They think you're their slave. I'm glad I don't work as a waitress anymore! Apparently I don't have the common sense for it, either! :wah: Guess that's what happens when I'm too rushed to have time to think!

laneybug;628118 wrote:

...Working in a restaurant serving lots of ritsy-titsy people can be such a thankless job. They think you're their slave. I'm glad I don't work as a waitress anymore!...


I worked a grand total of a month in food service, a couple of decades ago. Many people seem to lose their basic civility in a restaurant; I'd rather slop hogs.

That of course excludes all of our members here in these forums, I'm sure.

I, Rob;628127 wrote: I worked a grand total of a month in food service, a couple of decades ago. Many people seem to lose their basic civility in a restaurant; I'd rather slop hogs.

That of course excludes all of our members here in these forums, I'm sure.


I worked in the restaurant biz when I was in college, I was awful for the most part. I dropped ranch dressing in someones lap once. Oh well, I still had fun.

A Pixture is worth a thousand words! :wah:

Attached files

cars;628131 wrote: A Pixture is worth a thousand words! :wah:


:wah: :wah:

I, Rob;628127 wrote: Many people seem to lose their basic civility in a restaurant; I'd rather slop hogs.




It's true. Working in that restaurant was the most miserable work experience of my life.

When I was in cosmetology school, I had an elderly woman come in for a roller set. Before we went to the shampoo sink, I went to run a brush through her hair to loosen all the hairspray she had on. She was busy talking and I took a swipe with my brush and HER HAIR CAME OFF!! I quick looked up in the mirror and I saw myself holding the brush with a wig hanging off it. For a split second it didn't register that it was a wig, I just thought I had scalped the lady. She went right on talking. I acted like I had meant to do it. :rolleyes:

I worked in a nursing home many years ago and one of the patients died so we had to take hime to the morgue which was attached to the hospital but the lifts were out of order so we had to go down the fir escape with the stretcher, anyhow I sneezed and he slid down over my shoulders and I screamed so loud I think I woke every one in the nursing home.

almostfamous;628195 wrote: Sadly, I know someone who did this. Not me, I've driven off with it still in (after finding out they were out of gas) but it just slapped back against the pump making a nice loud noise for all to hear and take notice of.
Actually, many years ago there were "outdoor drive in movie theaters". (For you youngsters) It's where you drove your car into a parking space, in an outdoor theater, that faced a giant picture screen. It's a place where "couples" went to "make-out", & even sometimes watch the movies!

You remained in your car and watched the movie, so to hear the sound for the movie, along each parking space was a metal pole that had an audio speaker chained to it. You rolled down the car window, took the speaker off the pole and hung it over the top edge of you car window.

Well, one time the movie ended, and being distracted, I drove off with speaker still hanging on the window. Sadly to say, the "chained up" speaker ripped the window to pieces! :wah:

:wah: Cars, I remember those speakers! We almost took some with us too.

Ha! Drive-ins! Sitting in the bed of the pickup in a lawnchair. My mom yanking me off to the snack bar during all the sex scenes. Man, I ate a lot of snow cones then. :yh_eyerol

I'd like to contribute, but I can't afford to put my example on the Internet.

You know how these things are.

Yeah...I have one of those too Kumin. It's a drag too because it's hilarious. But too personal.

Ok here's another one.

My boyfriend used to use Copenhagen. (Chew.) He used to swallow instead of spitting it out and we'd argue over it. Finally he got into the habit of spitting into a Pepsi can. We both drank Pepsi and always had a can or two going around the house somewhere. I was usually real careful to keep mine away from his but one time I slipped and grabbed his can.

I took a big swig of... tobacco spit!!

You haven't known gross unless this has happened to you.

I chewed him out up one side and down the other but he was too busy laughing to pay me any mind.

almostfamous;628249 wrote: wellll, smarty britches ... I was actually at a drive-in last thursday.

we watched..................... ummmmm, weeee waaatched :-3 somethin or other :sneaky:





they took the speakers down a few years back tho, now you just tune to a certain station to get audio. it's ridiculously cheap, like 6 bucks i think. we got in free cuz daniel knew the kid workin the ticket thingy but 6 bucks for 2 flicks, and new ones at that... psh, not bad at all.




maybe it was return of the big shrimp 2 you watched :wah:





what are you doing up at 5 am ,get some sleep woman

cars;628131 wrote: A Pixture is worth a thousand words! :wah:
I've done that! I went down to rent a truck. "Yessir" the guy says, "there's your vehicle right out there. Keys are already in the ignition." So I walked out, get in the truck (that was parked by the fuel pumps), and drove away. I thought I was the most popular guy in town. Everybody was waving at me. I was at least half a mile down the road before I realized what was going on.

almostfamous;628249 wrote: wellll, smarty britches :p ... I was actually at a drive-in last thursday.

we watched..................... ummmmm, weeee waaatched :-3 somethin or other :sneaky:





they took the speakers down a few years back tho, now you just tune to a certain station to get audio. it's ridiculously cheap, like 6 bucks i think. we got in free cuz daniel knew the kid workin the ticket thingy but 6 bucks for 2 flicks, and new ones at that... psh, not bad at all.


See that, looks like not all the drive-ins shut down! Guess only the ones up North did! Yep they were real cheap, whole car loads could see the movie, for the same price. Wow, new fangled technology, getting the movie sound on the car radio! :wah: What's next!?

OH GOD! I have so many and some are truly unmentionable.:wah:

We were newly married in an ancient little old house, and one nite we were having a huge fight I got angry at the husband and went into the bedroom and slammed the door so hard that it got stuck in the doorjam, we could not open it no matter what we did. Finally I decided to crawl out of the bedroom window and go in the front door, well just as I was legging it up and over the window sill the freakish neighbor sees me and yells out to me... "what's the matter hunny did his wife come home" Stupid and embarassing.

Another fight story I threw a water glass at the husband and believe me I don't throw worth beans and I missed him and threw it right through the wall leaving in lovely hole in the wall. He left it there for a few months as a reminder to me and everybody else about how stupid that was.

minks;628498 wrote: OH GOD! I have so many and some are truly unmentionable.:wah:

We were newly married in an ancient little old house, and one nite we were having a huge fight I got angry at the husband and went into the bedroom and slammed the door so hard that it got stuck in the doorjam, we could not open it no matter what we did. Finally I decided to crawl out of the bedroom window and go in the front door, well just as I was legging it up and over the window sill the freakish neighbor sees me and yells out to me... "what's the matter hunny did his wife come home" Stupid and embarassing.

Another fight story I threw a water glass at the husband and believe me I don't throw worth beans and I missed him and threw it right through the wall leaving in lovely hole in the wall. He left it there for a few months as a reminder to me and everybody else about how stupid that was.


:yh_rotfl LMAO

almostfamous;628251 wrote: big shrimp 2?? :wah:





insomnia 'magine that :rolleyes:


LMAO at big shrimp 2:wah:

almostfamous;628865 wrote: i don't get it.


refer to your last journal posting...

"biggest shrimp I've ever seen"..

I don't know, I thought it was funny and apparently so did Jimbo.