ForumGarden

Roses are red and violets are blue,

If a cat sneezes, would you say achoo?

i eat my peas with honey





i,ve done it all my life





it makes them taste quite funny





but it sticks them to the knife





:D

A poem chiefly in the Fifish dialect:-

Seeking Asylum



When I come to Scotland first

for Scotland culture I have thirst.

I live near football ground Ibrox,

folk look at me like I had pox.

Helping here the polis disnae,

I think I safer back in Grozny.

Then come to Fife where joining queue,

outside temple called Burroo.

Go inside, where wait in line

Someone say “Come here, write name”

Then she give me lots of ackers.

I say “Much is thanking you.”

She look at like as if I quackers,

Says “Back next week, we give you same.”



To other temple then I go

Attending rite they call “The Bingo”

Where man call out the holy numbers

“Fat Ladies”, “Legs” and “Maggies Den”

fat wife shour “House” and people moan,

“Jesus Christ, no’ her again!”

Fife people good, they give me telly,

plenty food for fill my belly,

I live in town they call Kirkcaldy,

But I no like they call me “Baldy.”

They give me house with glass in windae,

Locks on doors and working cludgie,

Tell me “ Mind, you keep your Lords’ day,

We give you house, but buy own budgie.”

I alredy posted this on another thread and in my journal.. i think its funny:wah:

Saga Love

WILL YOU LOVE ME WHEN I’M OLD AND SHOCKING?

WILL YOU PEEL OFF MY ELASTIC STOCKINGS TO

SWING ME FROM THE CHANDELIER?

‘COS I’M SURE TO BE A RANDY OLD DEAR!



WILL YOU PUSH ME IN MY PINK WHEELCHAIR?

LET ME PLAIT YOUR WHITE CHEST HAIR?

WE COULD SCARE THE KIDS WHEN WE SWAP DENTURES

GEEEEZ WE’LL HAVE SOME GREAT ADVENTURES!





WH EN WE MAKE LOVE, WE’LL HAVE A BALL

WE’LL WRESTLE WITH OUR DAMP PROOF SMALLS

AND OH! WE’LL LAUGH WITH NO CONSTRAINT

AS WE LICK OFF CHOCOLATE BODY PAINT.



WE’LL HOLIDAY IN SPECIAL PLACES

WATCHING ALL THE SMILING FACES

YOU IN SHORTS AND SOCKS AND SANDALS

ME WITH WARTS AND HUGE LOVE HANDLES!



HOLD ME SAFE THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT

STROKE MY HAIR THAT’S NOW TURNED WHITE

BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY IT’S TRUE

I’VE WAITED ALL MY LIVES FOR YOU