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#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:05 am
by RedGlitter
#3: Choose a poem you like. Take the last line and use that as the first line of your own poem.
I'm not very happy with my effort here. It needs some help but here it is anyway.
I chose "How Do I Love Thee" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
My Soul is Broken. Your Breath is Stilled.
I shall but love thee better after death
you are lain beneath God's earth
raven's stark eye, screeching caw
faint among churchbell peal
memory's shadow in mind's eye
tears upon sodden ground
my soul is broken
your breath is stilled
trick of God
life unfulfilled
#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:12 am
by KB.
Doesn't look like it needs any work to me. You did wonderful, thanks for letting us read it.
#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 11:30 am
by minks
Very nice shiney girl I do like it
#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 11:34 am
by RedGlitter
Gosh, thank you KB. :-6
You sure know how to brighten a girl up!
#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 11:35 am
by RedGlitter
Thank you, M!

#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:42 pm
by RedGlitter
Thanks AF!

#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 10:54 am
by laneybug
Any more work to that would kill what it is. In it's simplicity it's full of raw energy. To refine it anymore you'd lose the meaning of it.
I like it very much. :-6
#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 10:57 am
by RedGlitter
Thanks, Laneybug :-6
I might do a few more. It was pretty fun.
#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 8:51 pm
by laneybug
I'd love to read whatever you've got, Red.

#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 10:56 pm
by RedGlitter
laneybug;645210 wrote: I'd love to read whatever you've got, Red.
Thanks Laney. I'm thinking some over. Should have them up soon.

#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 12:16 am
by RedGlitter
Okay....first line is from Emily Dickinson's "Life VIII."
The rest is how I feel about a certain someone. I never write rhymes and use proper form. I always write free verse so please excuse the amateurity.
You Know Who You Are
A wounded deer leaps
highest
The thorn bird sings one
song
I would be in my
grave
if you hadn't come
along
You say it's not your
doing
But you weren't here to
see
all I had to say grace
over
and what it had done to
me
Maybe I was
weak
maybe it's a
fraud
maybe it's
you
the glistening
star
in the shining eye of
God.
I'll always hold you
special
You I can never
repay
For turning my forever
night
into the
want
of another
day.
#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 3:09 pm
by RedGlitter
Thanks Beth.
Where's yours? :-6
#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:30 pm
by RedGlitter
Hey I'm on a roll...except I cheated: I didn't use any poet's first line.
False Promise
whisper me an elegy
as the crows fly all around
steal the tear from my eye
put it in your wretched crown
the faith i gave you
bore no worth
not there above
nor here on earth
what you have done
to a soul so just
made its heart drip blood
like rain loosens rust
taker of pride
thief of my trust
#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 2:33 am
by Tater Tazz
Very nice red!:)
#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 6:54 pm
by RedGlitter
Thank you Tazz. :-6
#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 9:50 am
by maccat
I think youv'e made good use of the words in telling its tale. I would be proud of it myself. well done Red Glitter.
#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts
Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 9:58 am
by RedGlitter
Why thank you, Maccat! I really appreciate that. :-6