ForumGarden

please go back and read my response to you in your "physical insecurities" thread. cutting yourself is serious business. it's a lot more than a "self-esteem issue". i don't want this to get lost in the usual sturm und drang of unrequited love and angst stuff.

you're a nice girl and i am not picking on you. i am really concerned. this is not about some guy. he's just a symptom. and you are not going to get life-altering answers on an internet forum. except maybe this one....CALL YOUR LOCAL SOCIAL SERVICES AND FIND THE MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC! please, any other well-meaning person here, this is not someone needing a band-aid or a couple nice words. self-mutilators have serious issues that are dangerous to themselves, no amatuer psych. here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarylinMonroe

Hey guys,

I need some relationship advice as things are not good just now. I suffer from very low self-esteem and on occassions when I'm really low I'm ashamed to say I cut myself. I have always felt pressure to be thin but am naturally curvy however. My current boyfriend has been very kind about my issues and has always reassured me that he loves my figure and is totally over is much thinner ex girlfriend/s. He often assures me, when I've asked, that he doesn't like any famous women that are often seen as beautiful and said he has never liked them. Then recently he confessed that he lied about this and that he had, in fact liked a few girls for being pretty in the past. Unfortunately it happens that they were really skinny and not like me at all - my total opposite in every way (character type too)!! I know this is in the past and shouldn't matter but I can't help feeling inadequate and comparing myself to them. I'm also REALLY upset he lied for a whole year about this when I asked him to be honest and he promised he would be. How can I trust him? Does anyone have any advice/felt the same?

Love 'Marylin'



I remember meeting Kate Hudson up here in Toronto. She is a very pleasnt person. Open, willing to be with people because she realizes that people are really where it is at. She was a well gronded person as far as I could tell. She liked my dog and my dog liked her. Tjhat's a big plus if you knew my dog.

A couple of years later I was doing some classes and one of the women started coo-ing about Kate Hudson. It was about a year after she was being built up as a/the most beautiful woman in the world of moviedom.

My friend was about to go into another round of coo-ing and professing that she was the ultimate figure and epitome of the female pulchritude. She was looking at me for my approbation of her estimation of who she was because she knew that I had met her.

I looked at her and said "She is just an ordinary, nice person. You could look just as beautiful as she does if you had the people around you to make it seem so." I reminded her that she is just ordinary and an open, loving person.

I continued, "If I know her she is not interested in becoming or being the most beautiful woman in the world because she knows that beauty is only skin deep. It is the person inside that counts. Not what some people may want you to think you see, but, what is really there. That is what you should be about."

The coo-ing stopped and I think that she began to realize that she, herself, wasn't all that bad looking after all.

When you are newly in love you don't want to lose the love of your life by saying something that may alienate the other part away from you. Now that you know you should thank him for telling you the truth. Don't ask him any of those hard questions that will heighten his fears about the relationship. Just work on being there with each other. That ought to do it for both of you.

Hiya m-m good name, welcome to the garden i'm sure you'll get lots of sound advice to your problem here.

Hope you enjoy your stay.

Greetings MM

I must say your taking a huge step here in FG by asking for advise, that is wonderful. Be sure to keep your chin up and accept the good advise here. We all come from many walks of life and because it is a forum we can only judge you by your words and that alone will help boost your self esteem.

I have to wonder how old you are. I know young women and teen girls can fall into the nasty realm of self mutilation it is a horrible thing, and I don't really understand it but it is terribly common.

As for your thoughts on your external self, remember if you can't change that, then just continue to develope your beautiful internal self. Like Ken said, people are just people and it is what is inside that always counts no matter what. Society on a whole wants you to believe it is your outer beauty that counts, but truly when it comes down to developing relationships, it is your inner beauty that shines through.

Keep posting with us and I hope you get some good helpful advise.

Cheers

You words say alot about you. From what I can tell your georgous, inside and out.. !!

We all have physical flaws...!! That's called genetics.. and for me lack of exercise.. :wah:

There has been some wonderful adivce given to you here. You are very brave to open up to us all. You need to take care of you, and the rest will come along. Outward beauty fades with age, that's a given.. Your inner beauty only grows, with age, and knowledge...!!

Ease up on yourself, get help, and know that your not alone..!! LadyCop suggestion to contact your social services mental health division is sound advice..