Banned From Wal-Mart...
Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 6:18 pm
Thinking of using a few of these myself...
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO............
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husbandaccompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boringand preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart. Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite acommotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced toban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 28 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people'scarts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an officialvoice, "Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and toldother shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he begancrying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirrorwhile he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, heasked the clerk where the antidepressants were located in the store.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudlyhumming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, said "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, heassumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!" And last, but not least,
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "HEY! THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!"
Regards
Wal-mart Managment
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO............
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husbandaccompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boringand preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart. Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite acommotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced toban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 28 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people'scarts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an officialvoice, "Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and toldother shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he begancrying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirrorwhile he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, heasked the clerk where the antidepressants were located in the store.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudlyhumming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, said "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, heassumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!" And last, but not least,
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "HEY! THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!"
Regards
Wal-mart Managment
