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Top 5 Deptartment store santa peeves.......

5. Parents who get all uptight when you offer their kids a swig from your hip flask.

4. Enduring the taunts of you old buddies from drama school.

3. Those dorks in the power rangers costumes get all the babes.

2. Kids who don't eunderstand that santa's been a little jittery since he got back from 'Nam.

1. Two words: Lap rash!



What's an ig?

An eskimo's home without a loo?

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on christmas eve?

Black mail!

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?

The letter "D"

Here is funny picture!!!

Tater Tazz, I love it, flat tire LMAO

I think you are the only one that likes it.

one liners:



# What kind of tree do fingers grow on?

A palm tree.

# Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop? It blew away.

# What must you know to be an auctioneer? Lots.

# What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert? Lost.

# A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

# Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

# How do snails keep their shells shiny?

They use snail varnish.

# What is the vampire's favourite song?

Fangs for the memory.

# What do you get if Santa comes down your chimney when the fire is a alight?

Crisp Kringle

# What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing.

It just let out a little wine.