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I feel I need to say something here (crikes! should I do this ... I messed up so bad last time ).

I did not know your brother and truly cannot comment on his personality. Nor the relationship you had with or the nightmares that you suffer. I just wanted to share a feeling with you. :-4

My Mum, had a horrible life (no..nasty horrific life), the details I do not want to go into. But she always, stayed happy and positive. She always figured there was something better along the way. She never gave up on people and love. She always looked for the positive and never looked back ... too much. When she died, I know she died happy, cos she could look back on her life with no bitterness, anger or regrets. :-4 She died at 42 yrs, leaving behind a husband and 4 children who loved her deeply. She died knowing she left, children that knew right from wrong, and love - no bitterness.

I think this is why I bond so much with you guys here. I see my Mums strength in so many of you (WW, Jimbo, Suzy and so many more).... its a survival thing. I kinda got to the point in my life thinking, 'well just throw it at me- cos you ain't gonna get me'. If this is a test, I Won!! :wah:

That I got from my Mum.

El G, what I wanted to say is - fight and be strong for those you love. Do not disappoint them, by letting their death ruin your life. They would not want that. That would make them sad....Go out there and celebrate their life and enjoy your own. :-4

Good post Peasy. :-4

:yh_hugs Jesse. :yh_hugs

We just talked in private, much the same as whats been said here.

You have lots of friends Jess, lean on us if you need too :-4

Pheasy what a lovely post :-4



I wish you could of all 'met' Sam, he truly did have everything, he had the most wonderful sense of humour, a mini me of Jim! They'd of tortured you all :wah: He was incredibly good looking, and could silence a place when he hit the karaoke, the world is truly a sadder place without him.

He was a great Father, Son, Brother and friend, I was very grateful of the friendship that we had, I was very close to Sam, Jim and Sam spent a lot of time together and were best mates as well as cousins.

I know things are hard for you Jess and this is a horrible time of year to be without the people we love, but try to be positive, save all the good memories so they are all fresh to pass on to his children, they are getting to the age when they will want people to talk about their Daddy, try to remain strong for your Mum and Sam's children. :-4

That must have been a really hard post to make Jim,

no wonder Suze loves you. :-4

jimbo;735934 wrote: sam and i got on really well :-6





we were always pulling pranks on each other and always winding each other up without mercy as soon as you blew a gasket the other would just calapse laughing and say i got you buddy ,then you knew you had been done and you had nothing else to do but join in the laughter and make sure you tried doubly hard to get the other back :-6





to every one that is saying poor jes ,you are not doing him any favours at all he needs to get on with life ,his brother and father would not want him wallowing in it like this



i wasted many years of my life doing exactly what jes is doing now ,my daughter had died and chantelle had been taken from me by her mother to america every thing i had was gone my partner my two daughters i was left with nothing i was just an empty shell ,i went to stay with jes and his family and his dad said to me what i'm saying now ... stop feeling sorry for yourself ,you have other members of your family that need you show a bit of backbone and get on with it





after two days of my brother casey dying ,i saw jes and i broke down his exact words to me were ,pull yourself together life goes on





jes i love you its been four years since sam died he meant everything to me that he means to you ,now its time to stop making sad posts like these and try to get on with things ,its your mum i feel sorry for she has nothing ,for her sake your wife's sake ,and for your daughters sake ... get on with life





your post earlier did what exactly .. get you a load of poor jes posts but it really upset me and suzy its time to move on mate :-6:-6


jim ya missed the point of the song

read it

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.

I wear the pain like a heavy coat.

The only thing that gives me hope,

Is I know I'll see you again some day.

hope

song brought tear to my eye thinkin of sam

dont want ya pity dont need it

jess

ya realy missed the point

abbey;735942 wrote: That must have been a really hard post to make Jim,

no wonder Suze loves you. :-4


Abbs :yh_hugs:yh_hugs:yh_hugs

jimbo;735934 wrote: sam and i got on really well





we were always pulling pranks on each other and always winding each other up without mercy as soon as you blew a gasket the other would just calapse laughing and say i got you buddy ,then you knew you had been done and you had nothing else to do but join in the laughter and make sure you tried doubly hard to get the other back :-6





to every one that is saying poor jes ,you are not doing him any favours at all he needs to get on with life ,his brother and father would not want him wallowing in it like this



i wasted many years of my life doing exactly what jes is doing now ,my daughter had died and chantelle had been taken from me by her mother to america every thing i had was gone my partner my two daughters i was left with nothing i was just an empty shell ,i went to stay with jes and his family and his dad said to me what i'm saying now ... stop feeling sorry for yourself ,you have other members of your family that need you show a bit of backbone and get on with it





after two days of my brother casey dying ,i saw jes and i broke down his exact words to me were ,pull yourself together life goes on





jes i love you its been four years since sam died he meant everything to me that he means to you ,now its time to stop making sad posts like these and try to get on with things ,its your mum i feel sorry for she has nothing ,for her sake your wife's sake ,and for your daughters sake ... get on with life





your post earlier did what exactly .. get you a load of poor jes posts but it really upset me and suzy its time to move on mate :-6:-6


Oh my God I hope I don't come across as a hard bitch here.... but Jimbo is so right... its the now that matters .... they need you Jess.. so stop this sh1t and get on with being the wonderful person I know you are :-4

It's really easy to tell someone to snap out of it. A person owns their own grief and wears it as best they can. If someone had been so callous as to say this to me about my mom dying I would beat them into the pavement. You can't know another person's grief. You may think you can but unless you're in their skin you have only an inkling. I wondered why Jesse told me about taking a break. I am afraid I would too. I hope this thread ends soon. I don't like these damn things.

RedGlitter;735959 wrote: It's really easy to tell someone to snap out of it. A person owns their own grief and wears it as best they can. If someone had been so callous as to say this to me about my mom dying I would beat them into the pavement. You can't know another person's grief. You may think you can but unless you're in their skin you have only an inkling. I wondered why Jesse told me about taking a break. I am afraid I would too. I hope this thread ends soon. I don't like these damn things.


No one is saying that Terri, Jim was incrediably close to Sam and they spent a lot of time together, he is hurting too, all he is trying to say that for his and his families sake to try and carry on 'living'.

No Suzy, I know that. Jimbo's told me that before and I understand. I tell Jesse the same thing. Hang on I'll send a PM.

RedGlitter;735959 wrote: It's really easy to tell someone to snap out of it. A person owns their own grief and wears it as best they can. If someone had been so callous as to say this to me about my mom dying I would beat them into the pavement. You can't know another person's grief. You may think you can but unless you're in their skin you have only an inkling. I wondered why Jesse told me about taking a break. I am afraid I would too. I hope this thread ends soon. I don't like these damn things.


Terri, I was just trying to be positive here. And you know I understand that 'snapping out of it' is easy said and probably impossible. I just want him to try and look at a positive life .... its out there, we just need to work a little harder to find it :-4

I understand Jimbo. You don't have to explain that. I do understand you. I'm sorry it came out as it did. Please accept my apology.

jimbo;735963 wrote: it really was abbey i'm choaked but its been four years now ,how much longer ???



its really upseting for other people around him that knew sam , how would you tell someone enough is enough life goes on , two days thats all the sympathy i got from jes and you know what it did me good ,two days may have not been enough grieving time though :rolleyes:



but all the time someone wants to feel sorry for themself and others say there there poor thing ,guess what they will ,i know i have done it



from now on people ,no more there there i want to here come on chin up your lost loved ones would not want you doing this





and jes please stop this type of post its very upsetting :-6:-6





when i see jes's other brother mark we talk about sam we cry and we laugh we say nice stuff ,we remember the good times the games of golf where i cheated disgracefully ,every one i talk to about sam ,when they talk they break out in a grin and say nice stuff it warms my heart and makes me happy





posts like this really make me sad i'm going to go upstairs and talk to suzy and say nice stuff about sam ,my brother casey and my uncle fred and cheer myself up



then tomorrow i'm going to ring jes's brother mark and talk about exactly the same stuff and cheer myself up :-6





i have a photo of me and sam i will post it one day :)Sometimes sweety, I catch a sight of my big brother in a picture frame and I feel the tears pricking at my eyes,we can't always time it right, sometimes we can.

Maybe jesse had heard or seen something that brought Sam to mind ( it's easily done )

Thankfully he has you to bring him back to the present day to remind him to move on.

He is so lucky.

jimbo;735963 wrote: it really was abbey i'm choaked but its been four years now ,how much longer ???



its really upseting for other people around him that knew sam , how would you tell someone enough is enough life goes on , two days thats all the sympathy i got from jes and you know what it did me good ,two days may have not been enough grieving time though :rolleyes:



but all the time someone wants to feel sorry for themself and others say there there poor thing ,guess what they will ,i know i have done it



from now on people ,no more there there i want to here come on chin up your lost loved ones would not want you doing this





and jes please stop this type of post its very upsetting :-6:-6





when i see jes's other brother mark we talk about sam we cry and we laugh we say nice stuff ,we remember the good times the games of golf where i cheated disgracefully ,every one i talk to about sam ,when they talk they break out in a grin and say nice stuff it warms my heart and makes me happy





posts like this really make me sad i'm going to go upstairs and talk to suzy and say nice stuff about sam ,my brother casey and my uncle fred and cheer myself up



then tomorrow i'm going to ring jes's brother mark and talk about exactly the same stuff and cheer myself up :-6





i have a photo of me and sam i will post it one day


jim ya are nut tellin the truth who had to knock on ya door at 3 in the morning who drove ya down there who had to tell ya about casey

as for tellin ya after 2 days sympathy you lie

dont want to fall out with ya

so i will not post it again

jess

see ya all around

abbey;735983 wrote: Sometimes sweety, I catch a sight of my big brother in a picture frame and I feel the tears pricking at my eyes,we can't always time it right, sometimes we can.

Maybe jesse had heard or seen something that brought Sam to mind ( it's easily done )

Thankfully he has you to bring him back to the present day to remind him to move on.

He is so lucky.


Yep Abbey, it catches you at times :-5 :-4:-4:-4

el guapo;735985 wrote: jim ya are nut tellin the truth who had to knock on ya door at 3 in the morning who drove ya down there who had to tell ya about casey

as for tellin ya after 2 days sympathy you lie

dont want to fall out with ya

so i will not post it again

jess

see ya all around


-1

Its good to talk

This sounds like family business and again I apologize to you, Suzy and Jimbo for stepping on toes. I was wrong.

RedGlitter;736003 wrote: This sounds like family business and again I apologize to you, Suzy and Jimbo for stepping on toes. I was wrong.


Terri, please you have nothing to apologise for.

We are off to bed now night everyone.



PS. Jess please don't take offence it what Jim has said tonight, it took a lot for him to do that and family should stick together