Some good Mensa laughs!
Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:14 pm
Number 4 just cracked me up!
Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an .
3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to begin with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down
in the near future.
6.Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic: Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16 . Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners
are:
1. coffee , n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted , adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. abdicate , v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade , v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly , adj. impotent.
6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph , v. to walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle , n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. flatulence , n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash , n. a rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle , n. a humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude , n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon , n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an .
3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to begin with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down
in the near future.
6.Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic: Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16 . Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners
are:
1. coffee , n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted , adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. abdicate , v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade , v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly , adj. impotent.
6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph , v. to walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle , n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. flatulence , n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash , n. a rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle , n. a humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude , n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon , n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
