Viagra

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 1:08 pm

WHY DO OLD MEN TAKE VIAGRA?

IT STOPS THEM FROM ROLLING OUT OF BED.

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I loaned a friend of mine some bucks to buy Viagra. Then for the next 2 weeks all I heard from him was how he and his wife were having the most unbelievable sex...humpin' day and night. I was glad for him but I wanted my money back. When I asked him for it....he stiffed me!

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A man comes to a doctor and twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say,"Doctor, I have a performance problem. Can you help me?"

"Oh, that's not a problem for us men anymore!" announces a proud physician, "They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You take some pills, and your problems are history."

So the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him on his merry way.A couple of months later, the doctor runs into his patient on the street. "Doctor, Doctor!" exclaims the man excitedly, "I've got to thank you! This drug is a miracle! It's wonderful!"

"Well, I'm glad to hear that" says the pleased physician, "What does your wife think about it?"

"Wife?" asks the man, "I haven't been home yet."

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A man at the pharmacy to pick up his Viagra prescription exclaimed over the $10/pill price. His wife, who was with him, had a different opinion: "Oh, $40 a year isn't too bad."

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A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife "It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for & your answer cannot take all that away. But, I must know, did he have a different father?"

The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for moment and then confessed. "Yes he did."

The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks "Who? Who was he?

Who was the father?"

Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband.

Then, finally, she says "You".

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The 75-year-old groom, with the young wife, caused a lot of attention as he checked into the resort hotel. The following morning, the old boy came strutting into the dining room, lookin' great with a big smile on his face. He proceeded to order an enormous breakfast. He laughed and joked and was in obvious good spirits, whereas his young wife, who came into the room a half hour later, looked worn out. She ordered coffee in a voice so weak the waiter had to ask her to repeat the order.

The old man finished his breakfast, excused himself and left for their room. This gave the waitress a chance to ask the bride, "Honey, I can't figure it out. The old geezer looks like a million and you look like two cents. What's wrong?"

"That guy double-crossed me," the bride said. "He told me he'd saved up for fifty years! And all the time I thought he was talking about money!"

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Two senior citizens were bragging about their sex lives in the elderly

homes, "Can you still do it? I have sex with my wife twice

a week. How many can you do?"

"Oh, I do it almost every night of the week!"

"Almost every night?"

"Yup! Monday, almost. Tuesday, almost. Wednesday,..."

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Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?

A: A bingo machine.

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Q: Why do women prefer old gynecologists?

A: They have shaky hands!

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Following the approval of Viagra by the UK's health authorities, the first shipment arrived on 19th May at Heathrow airport, but was hijacked on the way to the depot. Scotland Yard have warned the public to be on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals.

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There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day.

The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it.

Doctor: What was the problem?

Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, i tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth...still nothing.

Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?!

Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.

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:wah::wah::wah::wah::wah::wah:

grbay · Post by **grbay** » Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:10 am

Chezzie;772286 wrote: WHY DO OLD MEN TAKE VIAGRA?

IT STOPS THEM FROM ROLLING OUT OF BED.

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LOL... After reading all of them this one takes the cake. I guess Viagra stops them from rolling over but they poke to many holes in the mattress jajajajaja. These viagra jokes are my favorite. I will do some digging and find some more Viagra jokes to post here...

GR...

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:27 am

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:56 am

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl Those were great!

sharonbaker · Post by **sharonbaker** » Fri Jun 17, 2011 1:29 am

LOL....

Funny explanation of that guy story.....

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:54 am

'I loaned a friend of mine some bucks to buy Viagra. Then for the next 2 weeks all I heard from him was how he and his wife were having the most unbelievable sex...humpin' day and night. I was glad for him but I wanted my money back. When I asked him for it....he stiffed me!'

:yh_rotfl