ForumGarden

only on the outside...things look great...gotta great job, great house, great family..

by looking at me, you'd think i was the happiest person in the world...

to some extent, im quite the opposite.

by looking at me, you wouldnt be able to tell that im lonely, that i feel like a failure at things, that i really don't have anyone to talk to. its quite depressing, i was going thru my phone contacts and realized that i have 95 people in my phone...and i went thru again and realized that maybe 4 of those 95 people were people that i could talk to, and who would listen to me...

i put on such a happy face, that at the end of the day, im literally tired...and at times, grumpy...

truth is, i dont know what is wrong with me...in a previous post, i inquired about how to make new friends, because i honestly feel like i have none. ... on the inside, im angry, lonely, bored with my life and a whole lot of mixed emotions...

thinking about it, i feel like maybe if i got out more, i would be alot better, but the question...where do you start? ]

Join a club, Fitness Center, Bowling, look at Craig's List in your area and there are alot of things you can find to do. But, of course you have to make that first step. You don't say if you work, if you don't, do some volunteer work. There are a lot of things to do to meet people. Good luck to you.

thanks for your input MOONPIE... :-6

I was a firm believer in the 'No one gets to see my pain' mantra...

Until the day I decided to be honest with my self and admit that 'No one wants to see my pain'. The fact is that very few people in our life really give a rats ass how we are doing if it could possibly intrude into their comfort zone.

I have 1 person to whom I can safely say anything I may be feeling ...that I trust with the worst of my thoughts. He dies, I'm screwed..:wah:

In the meantime, I lie awake at night sometimes wondering if I could have said or done something to ease someone else's pain.... something I may have missed. That's the worst, ya know... that damned worrying about the others who would never even think they need to be worrying about me.:-2

Im sorry for being stupid on your other thread.

Theres a thought that resonates in me from time to time.

We all walk alone and sometimes alone together.

Its hard being a person in this world.

The only thing Im sure of is that if youre sincere and genuine your odds of making a real connection increase.

Just a thought.

I apologize for being silly in your friends post also.

I completely can relate to how you feel. I am going through the same thing to a degree. I was very depressed for about a good 6 month period, but very few people knew it and actually it took a friend of mine that is like a mom to me to snap me out of it....she looked me in the face, in the midst of me crying in her office for about 2 hours...and said..."YOU are not a failure" and I bawled like a baby.

I have spent most of my adult life alone (meaning with a partner-- I have 3 boys that I've raised all of their lives.).. I really never had a partner around to help me for a long period of time...I've grown to accept it, I would like to think that I've made the best of my situation and that everything is going to be okay!:-4



I have found that the forums are a great place to meet people, there are some really wonderfully sincere people here at this one....

I would be happy to talk to you anytime you need someone to talk!:-6