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Ladies ... i swear there's this guy standing behind me holding a loaded gun to my head! You know that ol' Jj would NEVER willingly post a thread like this!



Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows

them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do men fart more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to

build up the required pressure.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes

a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Women will never be equal to men until they can

walk down the street with a bald head and a beer

gut, and still think they are sexy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Jones..........afraid its war babe................

He never wields a razor

never bothers with foam or hot towels,

his 'tache is disguising a weak upper lip

and his beards hiding pimples and jowls.

His stomach is grossly distended

tho' he can just about see his feet,

he balances mirrors upon his toes

to admire his 'three piece suite'.

He thinks he's 'Gods gift' to women

who're begging to be fondled and kissed,

needless to mention, to want his attention

you'd have to be 'Brahms and Liszt'.

He enjoys sneaking up on women

who are bending to reach the low shelves,

the lucky ones hear him coming

and automatically brace themselves.

It's not heavy breathing that alerts his prey

nor the sound of his feet as they land,

it's his excited heart audibly beating

like the bass of a 'heavy rock' band.

This bloke seems obsessed with Viagra

I think his libido is low,

but he must remember, both he and his member

are approaching the 'Big Five'O'.

He's started to ridicule women

one was nude, on all 4's on his mat

when he told his dog, "Prince, if you don't eat your mince,

you're gonna look just like that.

He's offered girls lifts home from parties

suggesting 'a bit of the other',

but most decline, they'd rather spend time

with Norman Bates .. and his 'mother'.:rolleyes::p

rjwould;780319 wrote: Why is this necessary?


its called humour dude ... fun ... perhaps you might have heard of it?

Carolly;780320 wrote: Jones..........afraid its war babe................

He never wields a razor

never bothers with foam or hot towels,

his 'tache is disguising a weak upper lip

and his beards hiding pimples and jowls.

His stomach is grossly distended

tho' he can just about see his feet,

he balances mirrors upon his toes

to admire his 'three piece suite'.

He thinks he's 'Gods gift' to women

who're begging to be fondled and kissed,

needless to mention, to want his attention

you'd have to be 'Brahms and Liszt'.

He enjoys sneaking up on women

who are bending to reach the low shelves,

the lucky ones hear him coming

and automatically brace themselves.

It's not heavy breathing that alerts his prey

nor the sound of his feet as they land,

it's his excited heart audibly beating

like the bass of a 'heavy rock' band.

This bloke seems obsessed with Viagra

I think his libido is low,

but he must remember, both he and his member

are approaching the 'Big Five'O'.

He's started to ridicule women

one was nude, on all 4's on his mat

when he told his dog, "Prince, if you don't eat your mince,

you're gonna look just like that.

He's offered girls lifts home from parties

suggesting 'a bit of the other',

but most decline, they'd rather spend time

with Norman Bates .. and his 'mother'.:rolleyes::p


Note to myself ..."must ask carolly to return that photo i sent her when we were still friends." :wah::wah:

jones jones;780323 wrote: Note to myself ..."must ask carolly to return that photo i sent her when we were still frinds." :wah::wah:
Sorry J......got confused :pand used it as a dart board:rolleyes:

Oh hell Ive had enough of agg lately on threads so I will leave you guys to it:(

Carolly;780324 wrote: Sorry J......got confused :pand used it as a dart board:rolleyes:


bad bad carolly!

too right jester! you know it!

rjwould;780319 wrote: Why is this necessary?


Because this is the way he really feels. If he didnt, just reading it would make him shudder. But then I already knew this... way back when he initiated his sex threads. Humor? Ever hear the phrase.... " Dead Serious? "

Carolly;780320 wrote: Jones..........afraid its war babe................

He never wields a razor

never bothers with foam or hot towels,

his 'tache is disguising a weak upper lip

and his beards hiding pimples and jowls.

His stomach is grossly distended

tho' he can just about see his feet,

he balances mirrors upon his toes

to admire his 'three piece suite'.

He thinks he's 'Gods gift' to women

who're begging to be fondled and kissed,

needless to mention, to want his attention

you'd have to be 'Brahms and Liszt'.

He enjoys sneaking up on women

who are bending to reach the low shelves,

the lucky ones hear him coming

and automatically brace themselves.

It's not heavy breathing that alerts his prey

nor the sound of his feet as they land,

it's his excited heart audibly beating

like the bass of a 'heavy rock' band.

This bloke seems obsessed with Viagra

I think his libido is low,

but he must remember, both he and his member

are approaching the 'Big Five'O'.

He's started to ridicule women

one was nude, on all 4's on his mat

when he told his dog, "Prince, if you don't eat your mince,

you're gonna look just like that.

He's offered girls lifts home from parties

suggesting 'a bit of the other',

but most decline, they'd rather spend time

with Norman Bates .. and his 'mother'.:rolleyes::p


:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl



oh... yours was funny too JJ:rolleyes:

rjwould;780319 wrote: Why is this necessary?


Why isn't it?:wah:

Thanks for the laugh!:wah:

kazalala;780340 wrote: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl



oh... yours was funny too JJ:rolleyes:


hi kaz ... okwam okuthle ukozela inzwakazi!

luv

Jj

mikeinie;780386 wrote: Thanks for the laugh!:wah:


your welcome mike!

flopstock;780358 wrote: Why isn't it?:wah:


:wah::-4:wah::-4

jones jones;780390 wrote: hi kaz ... okwam okuthle ukozela inzwakazi!

luv

Jj


How rude! talking to me in a different language so i dont know what you are saying!:sneaky::p:p

kazalala;780398 wrote: How rude! talking to me in a different language so i dont know what you are saying!:sneaky::p:p


oooooh! i think you do know !!! :sneaky:

jones jones;780401 wrote: oooooh! i think you do know !!! :sneaky:


I do not:-5

kazalala;780407 wrote: I do not:-5


oh my beautiful sleepy one ... you have made me so so sad!-1

jones jones;780409 wrote: oh my beautiful sleepy one ... you have made me so so sad!-1


tough:p

kazalala;780411 wrote: tough:p


so you really don't remember what "okwam okuthle ukozela inzwakazi! " means?

jones jones;780417 wrote: so you really don't remember what "okwam okuthle ukozela inzwakazi! " means?


ok. got it:omy bad:rolleyes::D

kazalala;780422 wrote: ok. got it:omy bad:rolleyes::D


jeez thanx! for a minute i thought i was suffering from amnesia! :wah:

jimbo;780424 wrote: my multi lingual cut the crap teddy for sue this valentines day , she was not as pleased with it as i had hoped ... women good thread jj :-6








hi jimbo! where ya bin man?:guitarist

jimbo;780431 wrote: i'm still sulking about the rugby :wah:



but then i realised there were other things to worry about so i got over it :D





like these :-3





http://www.botw.org/articles/endworld.html


oh right bundle of fun you are:rolleyes::wah:

jimbo;780431 wrote: i'm still sulking about the rugby :wah:



but then i realised there were other things to worry about so i got over it :D





like these :-3





http://www.botw.org/articles/endworld.html


cheer up jimbo ... you've had your butts kicked by wales since then!!!!:wah:

jimbo;780438 wrote: your dispicable:p


while we so confident we dump the coach who won the world cup! jeez!

jones jones;780318 wrote: Ladies ... i swear there's this guy standing behind me holding a loaded gun to my head! You know that ol' Jj would NEVER willingly post a thread like this!



Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows

them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do men fart more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to

build up the required pressure.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes

a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Women will never be equal to men until they can

walk down the street with a bald head and a beer

gut, and still think they are sexy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

-------------------------------------------------------------------


TYPICAL MALE TO WRITE CRAP LIKE THIS:p:(

:wah:

Jj, has that man behind you with the gun left yet?

You don't reckon he is hunting rj, now?

rjwould;780502 wrote: I'm still wondering who or what he is striking back at...I haven't seen any threads where females have been demeaning towards males.....Perhaps his issue is with his mother or elementry school teacher.....


That's a joke right rj?:wah:

Read what you quoted again, then reread your comment...:yh_rotfl

rjwould;780502 wrote: I'm still wondering who or what he is striking back at...I haven't seen any threads where females have been demeaning towards males.....Perhaps his issue is with his mother or elementry school teacher.....


You haven't looked very hard RJ, there's hundreds of them. We don't usually respond, jj took it upon himself to champion the males here apparently...:wah:

I'm not knocking him for that..