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I guess I should be pretty embarassed to admit this here... But Im not.

Im certain Ive mentioned having a drastic decline in income since losing my

a** in a business venture down in Georgia a couple of years ago. That combined with a cancer diagnosis which left me with a few thousand in unpaid bills, has pretty much sucked my credit score right down the drain. Honestly, short of winning the lottery, or having a billionaire fall madly in love with me ( like lifetime TV ) I probably will never recover from my financial mistakes. All the good intentions in the world do not change the fact that once labeled with a low credit score... you are reduced to living the life of an outlaw basically. Instead of leaving you alone so that you might have a chance to recover..... every financial avenue penalizes you, raises your rates, and insures that you just keep getting beaten further in the ground. I have come very close to landing very good jobs over the past year.... only to be rejected when they do a background check, and discover that my credit is in the toilet. My car insurance has doubled, and Thank God for my winning personality and excellent past business references, or I probably would also be homeless. So anyway, last week I was feeling very depressed, realizing how little I own, and this fear washes over me quite often worrying about the future ( without a ball and chain ) to " Take Care OF ME Ha!!

I get this letter from AMERICAN EXPRESS. I have carried an American Express gold business card since 2003. I have put thousands of dollars on the card. I HAVE ALWAYS PAID MY BILL. That card has saved my life over the last 2 years. Gas, Groceries, Cell Phone, Car Repairs. As you know, all the card does is buy you a little time. It seems they did a random credit check on me..... and they TOOK MY CARD AWAY!!!! I wanted to die. I am so embarassed. I feel like the American Express people are watching me, and they are laughing. Who am I without my American Express Card??? Im nobody. I wished I could write them a letter, stating all of the above, and tell them that THEY pushed me into drinking drano that very night. I dont care about not having my own home. I dont care about not having a lot of stuff, but I am totally broken hearted over that friggin card. How am I supposed to leave home????? They have made me decide to go totally vigalante, and revert back to the hippy days of my youth. I am trying to get up the courage to live without a cell phone... I may decide to give up driving a vehicle... I am going to operate totally in cash, that I will keep in a shoe box..... and I am no longer concerned about the moral stigma attached to my not even attempting to pay back a dime that I owe... which I have been trying to do a little bit at a time. I wish so much that I could embarass American Express, the way that they have embarassed me.

I HATE AMERICAN EXPRESS !! They have already received a few 'nasty' letters from me

Sorry to hear you have had a bad time with them too Weeder :-6

Weeder,

I feel for you, I really do. At this point it really has to be swim - sinking is not an option. Sod your debts - bankruptcy if you have to - but it is survival mode before the system closes over you.

You've said you're within walking distance of work - is there anything else you *must* have your car for? On a cash budget a car is a big risk - one that is guaranteed not to break down is too much money tied up and one that might break down could kill the shoe box under the bed.

I'm sure you know how to eat cheap by now - $5 a day will keep to healthy. Measure all of your other outgoings by that - how many days food am I spending.

$30 a month for TV you don't like - there's a saving for a start (of your sanity maybe, too much drivel on the box). Just don't cut off all contact with the outside world.

Whatever you do, keep strong. If you fight it you will win.

First of all, it's just a plastic card. It was convenient and necessary for you to use for a period of time........but you paid for it's service too. American Express did not let you use the card for free.........you paid interest.Get out all your statements from that company and contact CareOne or a service like that. You will not go bankrupt and you pay what you can a month. They negotiate with AM and any other credtor you may have, and you pay one monthly payment. It may take awhile, but you will see the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. Hubby and I have had to use that service.........and there have been no problems. Dont' feel helpless, there is something you can do. I hope this suggestion helps.

You can cut up the card and send it back to American Express.

Is American Express making "record" profits off us, too? :-5

Mate, that's tough. I agree with you in all you said. It's survival mode time. Bryn's advice seems good to me. You are already thinking about it - do it. Along's advice sounds sensible, too. There are ways ahead.

I am sorry for your troubles, I really am. I have been there myself once, and it is true¦ when you are down, you are down and know one wants to know you, and it seams like everything stacks up against you. Banks love giving you loans and credit cards and providing the opportunity to get way over your head in debt, but they take no responsibility with regards to what happens when you get there.

Oh ya, American Express sucks. Be thankful they took it.

It is true that the only way out is ‘back to basics’. Loose the car, it is a luxury not a necessity (unless you physically need it for work). Get an extra weekend job, remember the only way to save money¦ is to stop spending it.

Put yourself on a very tight budget, but don’t get down about it, see it the same way others would see trying to loose weight, set targets and achieve them.

Avoid bankruptcy; it will haunt you for years after your back on your feet. The trick is to get the credit rating back up again; you are currently high risk so it won’t be easy.

Go to a back or credit union, get the smallest amount of a loan possible at a variable interest rate with the option to pay down, and do not lock in for a fixed term! Don’t spend the money!! Then one month later pay pack the loan in full including the interest. Sounds crazy? Not really because then your most current record shows a loan paid off in full.

Don’t put your money in a box, put your credit cards in a box and put them away, for a while now you need to live cash only, if you can’t afford it, you can’t have it.

Good luck, stay positive and it is only a blip on the credit highway of life.

You are a special breed. You're not only Weeder, you are an entrepenuer - weed of the business world. Nobody can get rid of a weed so easily. So they pluck you to the root. Let them. You bide; you repair; you wait for the right opportunity; then you spring forth, as prickly and defiant as before.



They always underestimate weeds.

I hate American Express

I have a **** list for Companies - so once the Co. is on the list, I don't use them.

American Express

United Airlines

Texaco

Metropolitan Insurance

K-Mart

Weeder - sorry for the embarassing moment

Hopefully you'll laugh at this episode someday.

Patsy

Weeder so sorry for your trouble. No shame in filing Bankruptcy at this point your credit can't get any worse. Actually it will get better after Bankruptcy as all your bills are GONE and you start rebuilding your credit.

I had to file Bankruptcy when I was disable for 10 years and out of work. I struggled trying to pay the bills, medical bill up the you know what, insurance. I just couldn't do it any longer filed Bankruptcy and never looked back it was liberating and I immediately began building credit again.

THINK ABOUT IT.

Last fall I went to see a bankrupsy attorney to find out what my options were. I couldnt do it. It felt like my bowels were being ripped out with a meat hook. It went against ever value I had set for myself. Meanwhile my best friend chose this option 2 years ago. It is just as you said Carla, its like she has a new life. I believed I would just take care of one bill at a time. I do not use credit cards. I do not shop for unnecessary things. But I am overwhelmed at the total sum of money I owe. I think that judgements were probably put on my credit that I dont even know about, as I purposely avoid looking at the report. I am so heart broken over what my score was when I owned the business, and what I can only imagine it is now. I do thank you for the support. I feel I could never even go out on a date, because how could I ever tell someone what a mess I have made of things. Just recently my new employer put me on the medical coverage plan at work. I was afraid that they were going to run a credit check, and turn me down. It might be time for me to consider looking at what I owe and checking out one of those pay back companys, as someone else suggested. Meanwhile....... I still cant leave home......

Weeder I understand had hear you loud and clear. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. There were no options left for me I just had to bit the bullet and file. I have my good credit back now. I could have never achieved that by paying 1 bill at a time there was no money to pay them with. :-5 I was so very depressed about my life at the time just felt TRAPPED. Once I filed it was instantly a new day without debt. I learned my lesson and never use a credit card and pay cash now. I filed due to my medical bills and that was noted on my credit score. It was considered a hardship filing. I had paid my bill right up to the day I filed.

Screw your credit score live your life and make it easy on yourself it is just a number. Your a wonderful women who deserves a break. Go out on a date its none of their business what your credit score is anyway.

Weeder, I am in that same exact boat right now....I am filing bankruptcy, house of 17 years foreclosed on and I am job-less....trust me, I have gone and still going through the depression of feeling like a failure and second-rate citizen....something deep down inside me tells me that I'm going to come out of this okay, something good is going to happen....I have been hoping for the lottery and Mr. Wonderful to come along too....I chuckled when I read that....but ummm, yeah, instead I'm going to take my 3 kids, 2 dogs and cats to a 1 bedroom apartment/garage in the back yard of a 3 br. house where a single father of two kids live and like to party....yayyyyy....:-5

I hope things get better for you soon, I highly recommend bankrupcy for a clean slate and you will be able to breathe a bit better. I never had luck with the credit repair companies, but that doesn't mean they won't work for you.

The judgements on your credit will be there until you clear them....they will prevent you from buying a home down the road, a title search can help you find out what is filed against you, but you probably already knew that.....



Oh yeah, I hate credit cards.....including American Express!!

Anyway, I wish only the happy of happiest days for you!!:-4:-4:-4

Weeder...

This really blows and I'm sorry.

I have probably the worst credit report on the planet and it's partly my own doing so I can understand a wee bit the embarrassment that goes along with it. But...

AmEx is just a dumbass credit card. It shouldn't make or break you. You are a good woman. You're not your credit score.





---------------- Listening to: Rachmaninov / Piano Concerto No. 2 in C minor, Op. 18 I: Moderato (Rachmaninov) via FoxyTunes

Ive been on both sides.

You have to be patient because repairing credit takes time.

Crushing yourself about this only makes you feel bad, it doesnt help the situation.

Give yourself a break.

Your circumstances will change in time, no question about it.

Once they do you will take great pride in your accomplishment and prove to yourself once again that you're a survivor.

Which as we all know you are.

Your credit score does not define the value of your person.

Thats what your heart is for. Well that and pumping blood through your veins.

We know what your value as a human being is and our rating for you is 100.

Be patient. And proactive but mainly patient.

Thank you Brian. My credit score was exceelent when I left Georgia. I think I am too old to climb the ladder back up to respectibility again. I dont even know if I have time. I know who I am, but God its awful to feel ashamed. I just dont understand what would make them out of the blue, run a check on me. But again i do thank you. I have met some of the most wonderful people here......