ForumGarden

I've always heard the saying forgive and forget!

I have also heard many people say, i forgave them but i never forgot!

My question is if you can't forget did you really forgive them in the first place? and is it possible to forget something once it's happened anyway?

Its a tricky one....its like saying I still love you but I dont like you.

I think if you forgive you have to forget...but easy to say...I have forgiven but I have not forgotten

kayleneaussie;960822 wrote: Its a tricky one....its like saying I still love you but I dont like you.

I think if you forgive you have to forget...but easy to say...I have forgiven but I have not forgotten


yeah i'm in the same situation i have said that i forgave someone for something but i never forgot it, now that person says since i didn't forget that means i never really forgave them in the first place!

there are certain people who will never get my forgiveness.

I have had to forgive someone for hurting me real bad, I've never forgotten what they did. But when I got to the point of forgiving, I look back on the situation as a lesson learned.

I'm more of a forget kinda person. I just forget about people..seriously... it's like I totally detach emotionally from them.. there is no return from that, I've tried.

But if I feel betrayed, it's just over. Don't hold a grudge or anything... they are simply nothing to me anymore -emotionally. They become a polite acquaintance.

Flop

I'm so much like you in this sense - my sister always reminds me, that wants she's done, she's done.

I completely dissengage/detach from one. Without holding any grudge/revenge.

I can be in the same room with that person & not be bothered by them - I don't know them & they're invisable. done it.

I've dismissed Family & Friends

I have no use for one I cannot trust.

as far as" forgive & forget "would only be negotiable with my Husband and my Sister & my Nephew - the only 3 with alittle leeway

and their on thin ice now...:wah:

Patsy

Hope6;960820 wrote: I've always heard the saying forgive and forget!

I have also heard many people say, i forgave them but i never forgot!

My question is if you can't forget did you really forgive them in the first place? and is it possible to forget something once it's happened anyway?


I think it depends on what it is you're trying to forgive and forget. Most of the time I will forgive and forget with no problems because it's all little things that don't matter so much.

When it's the big stuff I can get my head round the forgiving - the forgetting is a whole other ball game. No matter how hard you try, it's always gonna be in the back of your mind somewhere.

flopstock;960839 wrote: I'm more of a forget kinda person. I just forget about people..seriously... it's like I totally detach emotionally from them.. there is no return from that, I've tried.

But if I feel betrayed, it's just over. Don't hold a grudge or anything... they are simply nothing to me anymore -emotionally. They become a polite acquaintance.


You took the words right out of my mouth!

Thats exactly what I do.

Hope6;960820 wrote: I've always heard the saying forgive and forget!

I have also heard many people say, i forgave them but i never forgot!

My question is if you can't forget did you really forgive them in the first place? and is it possible to forget something once it's happened anyway?


we may put bad happenings to the back of our minds But their alwaya there lurking

Hoss;960841 wrote: I think it means to forgive and choose not to remember the offense and all the bad feelings that can go with it.


thats a great way of putting it , i guess we forgive and then choose to try to forget.

pinkchick;960864 wrote: I think it depends on what it is you're trying to forgive and forget. Most of the time I will forgive and forget with no problems because it's all little things that don't matter so much.

When it's the big stuff I can get my head round the forgiving - the forgetting is a whole other ball game. No matter how hard you try, it's always gonna be in the back of your mind somewhere.


yeah, i'm very easy to forgive, but like you say it's always there in the back of your mind, but that doesn't mean you still don,t care about that person!

SlipStream;960889 wrote: we may put bad happenings to the back of our minds But their alwaya there lurking


yes you're right, but since they are still there, have we really forgiven them?

forgive ... but do not forget ...

if you do then you may get kicked twice by the same donkey!

Hope6;960919 wrote: yes you're right, but since they are still there, have we really forgiven them?


can't have:)

Odie;960830 wrote: there are certain people who will never get my forgiveness.
me too

flopstock;960839 wrote: I'm more of a forget kinda person. I just forget about people..seriously... it's like I totally detach emotionally from them.. there is no return from that, I've tried.

But if I feel betrayed, it's just over. Don't hold a grudge or anything... they are simply nothing to me anymore -emotionally. They become a polite acquaintance.


me too again:)

I think you can forgive, but not forget. You don't forget to keep your defenses up so that you don't get hurt again......in the same situation. But, after time passes, you can forget, too. You live......and learn.

That is a good one. I can say in my life. I have forgiven people who have done me wrong. but it is a heck of a lot harder to forget. i am in that point of my life now. In fact this is to do with someone very close to me. I still have flash backs of things that has happen. but i am working very hard on these issues to dismiss this pain and go on. i will admit. it is not easy.:-1

If someone has deeply hurt me, I will neither forgive nor forget. If they hurt me that badly, they don't deserve to be a part of my life any longer.

I figure if you forget you run the risk of being in the same situation again.

Forgive yes, forget no .... but then again me personally I take forever to forgive :-5

but hateing someone does not damage anyone but you. to let that hate fester in your heart. is far worse. then to forgive. You can forgive someone but it doesn't mean they can still be part of your life. This is for your sake. not theirs.

i've always considered myself capable of forgiving anybody of anything, i mean as a Christian person that is what we are taught to do!

i didn't realize until i had to do it though that the forgetting part is a whole other story! it stays there in the back of your mind, and after a while it does pop into your thoughts less and less, but its still there!

i guess my quesion is does it ever go away completely? maybe it's actually good if it doesn't go away totally! like some of you have said, if you don't forget, you won't find youself in that same situation again!