English language to be made euopean under new law
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 1:04 pm
The European commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in-plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. Yhis should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, the publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplickated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to akcurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and should go away.
By the 4th, ye people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be droped from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efterze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in the forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl !!!!!
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in-plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. Yhis should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, the publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplickated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to akcurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and should go away.
By the 4th, ye people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be droped from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efterze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in the forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl !!!!!
. In any case, "ait wownt buy jermann anuy waayy, weeel awl be speken merican baby bi da time dem yankees is feenshed with ywall". :wah: