I'm blonde, I can do this!

[valerie]

FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment

and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?"

The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is

clear."

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,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*

SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on

the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the

mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."

The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"

So the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

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THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and

buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens

the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really

angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she

is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

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FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.

She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

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FIFTH DEGREE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

"Is it mine?"

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SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US

government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs.

Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision

George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

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SEVENTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house

Ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,

patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached

the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,

shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the

steps.



Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my

possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?

They send me a BLIND policeman."



--------------------





:yh_rotfl

[LottomagicZ4941]

I'm not blonde but I use to be until my hair got darker:( mixed bag on not being blond anymore:)

She must be a blonde?

A young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says

that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams

in agony.

She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and

screams.

Everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"

"No," she says, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."

found on

http://workathomenetwork.com/forum/inde ... #entry9098

Lotto

http://www.flalottomagic.net/cgi-local/ ... elcome-344

MagicZ4941A

[LottomagicZ4941]

Just More Blonde Jokes



Did you hear about the two blondes

who froze to death in a drive-in movie?

They went to see "Closed for the winter,"

***************

Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?

She heard that 1 out of every 4 children

born in the world was Chinese.

*************************

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night

with the tip of her index finger shot off.

How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.

Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

What?" sputtered the doctor.

You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"

No, Silly!" the blonde said.

First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought:

I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants,

I'm not shooting myself in the chest"

So then?" asked the doctor.

Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought:

I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straighten I'm not shooting myself in he mouth."

"So then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought:

This is going to make aloud noise.

So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the

trigger."

*****************

Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?

There was a power outage,

and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators

for over four hours.

*****************

A blonde was driving home after a game

and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.

Her car was covered with dents,

so the next day she took it to a repair shop.

The shop owner saw that she was a blonde,

so he decided to have some fun

He told her just to go home and

blow into the tail pipe really hard,

and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into the tailpipe.

Nothing happened.

So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her

roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes and said,

Uh, like hello!

You need to roll up the windows first."

found on

http://com4.runboard.com/blifetheuniver ... ainchat.t2

Lotto

http://www.flalottomagic.net/cgi-local/ ... elcome-344

MagicZ4941 A

[LottomagicZ4941]

A dumb blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test."

"OH, NO!" exclaimed the blonde.

But Saint Peter said not to worry, because he would make it an easy test. "Who was God's son?" asked Saint Peter.

The dumb blonde thought for a few minutes and replied, "Andy."

"Andy? That's interesting. What made you say that?" inquired Saint Peter.

Then the blonde started to sing, "Andy walks with me. Andy talks with me. Andy tells me..."

found on

http://www.lotto649.ws/showthread.php?s ... genumber=3