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I've been advised that a joke wouldn't go amiss.



Donald Duck calls reception and asks them to send up a pack of three.

Reception: "Shall I put them on your bill?"

Donald Duck: "You want to kill me? I'd suffocate!"

a pack of three what, dear?:-2

spot;1152945 wrote: I've been advised that a joke wouldn't go amiss.



Donald Duck calls reception and asks them to send up a pack of three.

Reception: "Shall I put them on your bill?"

Donald Duck: "You want to kill me? I'd suffocate!":)
nice smilie, btw...:-4

flopstock;1152947 wrote: a pack of three what, dear?:-2


Since I posted that I've been out on the Internet looking for other Donald Duck jokes. It's scarcely believable but they're ALL variations of that one!

a duck goes to a corner store to buy a lipbalm, cashier says its 2.06.........duck says put it on my bill.:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

There's not many Donald Duck jokes, are there.

This one's not a Donald Duck joke:

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much would a drink cost and the bartender tells him it's on the house.

...

Attached files

spot;1152968 wrote: There's not many Donald Duck jokes, are there.



This one's not a Donald Duck joke:



A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much would a drink cost and the bartender tells him it's on the house.


Sheesh. I didn't even have to Donald Duck that joke.

Way over.:rolleyes:



:yh_rotfl

So, a duck walked into a bar, and asked the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender replied, "No, this isn't a grocery store, get the hell out of here!" So, the duck came back the next day, and asked the bartender "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender said "No, I told you before, this isn't a grocery store, and I don't have any grapes, now leave!" So the duck came back the next day, and asked the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?" The angry bartender said, "NO! And if you come back and ask me that again, I will nail your butt to the wall! Now leave!" So, the duck came back the next day, and asked the bartender, "Do you have any nails?" The bartender, puzzled, said, "No, why?" The duck said, "In that case, do you have any grapes?"

OpenMind;1153007 wrote: Sheesh. I didn't even have to Donald Duck that joke.

Way over.:rolleyes:



:yh_rotfl


There's no way to charge a neutron.

spot;1153024 wrote: There's no way to charge a neutron.




[Slaps head in utter dismay at missing the blandly obvious.]



:yh_rotfl

spot;1152945 wrote: I've been advised that a joke wouldn't go amiss.



Donald Duck calls reception and asks them to send up a pack of three.

Reception: "Shall I put them on your bill?"

Donald Duck: "You want to kill me? I'd suffocate!"




You know over here where I live there is actually a Donald Duck in the phone book. He's a plumber:wah:. It's true!

qsducks;1153059 wrote: You know over here where I live there is actually a Donald Duck in the phone book. He's a plumber:wah:. It's true!


For some reason, that doesn't surprise me.:rolleyes:

OpenMind;1153144 wrote: For some reason, that doesn't surprise me.:rolleyes:


He's not a relly!:yh_rotfl

qsducks;1153145 wrote: He's not a relly!:yh_rotfl


I bet that you're more relieved by that than I am.:wah::wah:

Mickey Mouse and Minnie are in divorce court.

Mickey wants a divorce ,he's claiming that Minnie is ****ing goofy.

The judge reads the papers and looks over at Mickey asking ,"Do you mean Minnie is cheating on you with Goofy?"

No, Mickey says , "she's CRAZY !!!"

qsducks;1153145 wrote: He's not a relly!:yh_rotfl


if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

spot;1152945 wrote: I've been advised that a joke wouldn't go amiss.



Donald Duck calls reception and asks them to send up a pack of three.

Reception: "Shall I put them on your bill?"

Donald Duck: "You want to kill me? I'd suffocate!"




Spot. can you prove this? Where is your link to back this up? Does Donald duck? :wah:

along-for-the-ride;1153817 wrote: Spot. can you prove this? Where is your link to back this up? Does Donald duck? :wah:


I had been advised that a joke wouldn't go amiss. I thought it was a bad idea at the time. I see I was right.

Why is it always me that has to have an authenticating link for anything I say, but if I ask someone else to back their opinion with justifying logic underpinned with facts I'm rent limb from limb by a baying mob?

spot;1153825 wrote: I had been advised that a joke wouldn't go amiss. I thought it was a bad idea at the time. I see I was right.

Why is it always me that has to have an authenticating link for anything I say, but if I ask someone else to back their opinion with justifying logic underpinned with facts I'm rent limb from limb by a baying mob?


Methinks you took my comment too seriously. I was delighted that you had posted a joke and I did enjoy it.

I see no baying mob ready to any renting. Just me.

along-for-the-ride;1153829 wrote: I see no baying mob ready to any renting. Just me.
I haven't asked anyone to back their opinion with justifying logic underpinned with facts in this thread though, have I. If I were to then rent-a-mob would rush in very quickly.

Opinion based solely on gut reaction with no logic tying it to reasonable and unexceptional facts is just that, opinion. It may be of limited interest to the occasional sycophant but it has no place in any discussion. Why would anyone want to know someone's opinion? What matters is why they hold it. I'm entranced by the reason people hold certain opinions. I rarely get told what they are.

spot;1153831 wrote: I haven't asked anyone to back their opinion with justifying logic underpinned with facts in this thread though, have I. If I were to then rent-a-mob would rush in very quickly.

Opinion based solely on gut reaction with no logic tying it to reasonable and unexceptional facts is just that, opinion. It may be of limited interest to the occasional sycophant but it has no place in any discussion. Why would anyone want to know someone's opinion? What matters is why they hold it. I'm entranced by the reason people hold certain opinions. I rarely get told what they are.


Feel free to look up Donald Duck the plumber in the Pennsylvania phone book. He exists. You might find him in Gradyville, PA. Actually, it's been awhile since I saw him but he does have a son named for him (can you imagine his wife linking that silly name to their son?).:wah:

qsducks;1154263 wrote: Feel free to look up Donald Duck the plumber in the Pennsylvania phone book. He exists. You might find him in Gradyville, PA. Actually, it's been awhile since I saw him but he does have a son named for him (can you imagine his wife linking that silly name to their son?).:wah:


Nobody in the thread, as far as I can see, has doubted it.

spot;1154265 wrote: Nobody in the thread, as far as I can see, has doubted it.


:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Hubs says he's still plumbing away with his son. And no they are not related to me.:yh_rotfl

spot used a smiley!



:wah:

sunny104;1154277 wrote: spot used a smiley!



:wah:


:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Apparently the last owner of Number 10, Downing Street before it became the Prime Minister's official residence was a certain Mr Chicken...

Clodhopper;1154356 wrote: Apparently the last owner of Number 10, Downing Street before it became the Prime Minister's official residence was a certain Mr Chicken...


chicken little?

(primly) history does not relate.

I just felt this thread was rather duckist and wished to redress the balance in favour of other poultry.

Clodhopper;1154360 wrote: (primly) history does not relate.

I just felt this thread was rather duckist and wished to redress the balance in favour of other poultry.


:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl like goose?

If I goosed a duck, wouldn't it go quackers?

ok. I'll go now...

Clodhopper;1154471 wrote: If I goosed a duck, wouldn't it go quackers?

ok. I'll go now...


:wah: No reply on this end. Too busy laughing.

Not totally a Donald Duck joke...but he's involved. :p

Goofy proudly told Donald that he had just finished a jigsaw puzzle, "And it only took me five months," he beamed.

"Five months?" said Donald, "That sounds like an awfully long time to finish a jigsaw puzzle."

"Not really, " Goofy explained, "The box says six to twelve years."

lalalala;1154501 wrote: Not totally a Donald Duck joke...but he's involved. :p

Goofy proudly told Donald that he had just finished a jigsaw puzzle, "And it only took me five months," he beamed.

"Five months?" said Donald, "That sounds like an awfully long time to finish a jigsaw puzzle."

"Not really, " Goofy explained, "The box says six to twelve years."


:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Clodhopper;1154360 wrote: (primly) history does not relate.



I just felt this thread was rather duckist and wished to redress the balance in favour of other poultry.




I like pink fluffy chickens myself...............

Immy!:yh_rotfl

How the heck do you know about that!

Did I mention it at the Meet? Must have.:wah:

Imladris;1154629 wrote: I like pink fluffy chickens myself...............


Immy never forgets a thing............:yh_rotfl

Immy never forgets a thing


(mental picture of Immy with long trunk and BIG ears...):)

Clodhopper;1154659 wrote: (mental picture of Immy with long trunk and BIG ears...):)


:yh_rotfl oooooh she'll get you!

Clodhopper;1154659 wrote: (mental picture of Immy with long trunk and BIG ears...):)


Big Ears. That's Noddy's mate innit?

Clodhopper;1154659 wrote: (mental picture of Immy with long trunk and BIG ears...):)


You are in sooo much trouble buster!



Bend over and prepare to be spanked.............:sneaky:

Imladris;1155033 wrote: You are in sooo much trouble buster!



Bend over and prepare to be spanked.............:sneaky:


'Pooh,' said the Elephant's Child. 'I don't think you peoples know anything about spanking; but I do, and I'll show you.' Then he uncurled his trunk and knocked two of his dear brothers head over heels.

'O Bananas!' said they, 'where did you learn that trick, and what have you done to your nose?'

'I got a new one from the Crocodile on the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River,' said the Elephant's Child. 'I asked him what he had for dinner, and he gave me this to keep.'

'It looks very ugly,' said his hairy uncle, the Baboon.

'It does,' said the Elephant's Child. 'But it's very useful,' and he picked up his hairy uncle, the Baboon, by one hairy leg, and hove him into a hornet's nest.

spot;1153831 wrote: I haven't asked anyone to back their opinion with justifying logic underpinned with facts in this thread though, have I. If I were to then rent-a-mob would rush in very quickly.

Opinion based solely on gut reaction with no logic tying it to reasonable and unexceptional facts is just that, opinion. It may be of limited interest to the occasional sycophant but it has no place in any discussion. Why would anyone want to know someone's opinion? What matters is why they hold it. I'm entranced by the reason people hold certain opinions. I rarely get told what they are.


:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

You crack me up baby!:-4:-4:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Floppy, I have a reputation to keep up here. Mister Evil Strikes Again, that sort of thing.

Anyway - I know I crack you up, but *why*?

spot;1155044 wrote: 'Pooh,' said the Elephant's Child. 'I don't think you peoples know anything about spanking; but I do, and I'll show you.' Then he uncurled his trunk and knocked two of his dear brothers head over heels.



'O Bananas!' said they, 'where did you learn that trick, and what have you done to your nose?'



'I got a new one from the Crocodile on the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River,' said the Elephant's Child. 'I asked him what he had for dinner, and he gave me this to keep.'



'It looks very ugly,' said his hairy uncle, the Baboon.



'It does,' said the Elephant's Child. 'But it's very useful,' and he picked up his hairy uncle, the Baboon, by one hairy leg, and hove him into a hornet's nest.
I know it's off topic of ducks and fowl of all types but I like that ^^ where's it from, it reminds me of the Just So stories (that sounded knowledgeable didn't it?) I haven't read many just glanced through them.

Imladris;1155297 wrote: I know it's off topic of ducks and fowl of all types but I like that ^^ where's it from, it reminds me of the Just So stories (that sounded knowledgeable didn't it?) I haven't read many just glanced through them.


It's a Just So story. Rudyard Kipling does tend to have a voice all of his own.

Just So Stories, Rudyard Kipling

It has a verse at the end startingI Keep six honest serving-men:

(They taught me all I knew)

Their names are What and Where and When

And How and Why and Who.You wonder how I got like this, do you?

spot;1155300 wrote: It's a Just So story. Rudyard Kipling does tend to have a voice all of his own.

Just So Stories, Rudyard Kipling

It has a verse at the end startingI Keep six honest serving-men:

(They taught me all I knew)

Their names are What and Where and When

And How and Why and Who.You wonder how I got like this, do you?


Talk about going off subject!:wah: What happened to Donald Duck...did Tarzan swoop through and take off with him?

I rather like thread drift. I'm quite practised at it.too.

spot;1155307 wrote: I rather like thread drift. I'm quite practised at it.too.


We know you are:yh_rotfl I'm just as bad...food wise.

spot;1155300 wrote: It's a Just So story. Rudyard Kipling does tend to have a voice all of his own.



Just So Stories, Rudyard Kipling



It has a verse at the end starting

I Keep six honest serving-men:

(They taught me all I knew)

Their names are What and Where and When

And How and Why and Who.

You wonder how I got like this, do you?


I remember that verse, my primary school teacher Miss Williams (a right old battleaxe but I loved her) was a real old fashioned teacher who liked things done properly. She drummed that rhyme into our heads to improve our essay writing and questioning skills - it worked too.



Oh, and day by day it's becoming clearer exactly how you got like that!