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Just to remind you of your time as a criminal.

YouTube - Alas Smith and Jones: Police Interrogation

gmc;1155627 wrote: Just to remind you of your time as a criminal.

YouTube - Alas Smith and Jones: Police Interrogation :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Yes, my interview which was two arrests actually...... a highlight of my life i shall remember with mirth and hilarity. I'm told it was supposed to have been a quick 20 minute interview under caution which then lasted 2 and a half hours. Let's just say i was a tad verbal. :yh_rotfl

The last thing my lawyer wanted was for the tape to be played in court so we stuck with the 'translated' transcript from the CPS. I didn't see a problem with the tape but my lawyer was of the opinion that the judge would not have taken kindly to my swearing, my threat to sue them under the 1966 police act for failing to carry out their duty, telling one plod 'Why the hell do you think i give a shyte about what shifts you work?, get me another coffee now, you've just contradicted yourself you numpty, etc etc .

My second interview on instructions from my lawyer probably after hearing the first tape, was 'no comment, no comment, no comment. Until the arresting officer got a face like a bulldog licking shyte off a thistel and said 'oh so this is going to be no comment all the way through is it?' Oscar can then be heard laughing loudly and adding 'no comment'.

gmc;1155627 wrote: Just to remind you of your time as a criminal.

YouTube - Alas Smith and Jones: Police Interrogation It's just occured to me oh tarten one, that you won't admit it but you care deeply for me don't you? Putting a thread on for me is a sign that you are succumbing to my womanly charms. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Do you still have your copy of the first interview, Oscar?:yh_rotfl

OpenMind;1155776 wrote: Do you still have your copy of the first interview, Oscar?:yh_rotfl Yes, i do :yh_rotfl All interviews under caution have two copies and the defendent's lawyer has the right to ask for the copy.

Unfortunately what is not on the tape of the two and a half hours is the breaks we had and why.

My lawyer often called for a break in which all officers must leave the interview room after switching the tape off and timing it. He's call for a break and once they were all out the room with the door shut, I asked 'What have you called a break for?' He'd say 'nothing but it annoys the hell out of them'. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

oscar;1155783 wrote: Yes, i do :yh_rotfl All interviews under caution have two copies and the defendent's lawyer has the right to ask for the copy.

Unfortunately what is not on the tape of the two and a half hours is the breaks we had and why.

My lawyer often called for a break in which all officers must leave the interview room after switching the tape off and timing it. He's call for a break and once they were all out the room with the door shut, I asked 'What have you called a break for?' He'd say 'nothing but it annoys the hell out of them'. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl


:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl



I'd love to have had an ear to the door during your interview. You should ask for your tape copy when it's all done and dusted for reminscing.

OpenMind;1155788 wrote: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl



I'd love to have had an ear to the door during your interview. You should ask for your tape copy when it's all done and dusted for reminscing. Oh definately..... another little gem for you.

Finally at the end of the first interview, the officer said 'well, we all know your going to refuse a caution'. .... 'Oh yeah, Physcic as well as stupid now are you?' ....... 'No, i read it in the press'. ..... 'You can read????? WOW, recruitment standards have improved here'.

Officers begin to prepare bail paper work. Lawyer asks .... 'errrrr Officer? You are suppossed to actually OFFER her a caution and not go by the press'. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

oscar;1155791 wrote: Oh definately..... another little gem for you.

Finally at the end of the first interview, the officer said 'well, we all know your going to refuse a caution'. .... 'Oh yeah, Physcic as well as stupid now are you?' ....... 'No, i read it in the press'. ..... 'You can read????? WOW, recruitment standards have improved here'.



Officers begin to prepare bail paper work. Lawyer asks .... 'errrrr Officer? You are suppossed to actually OFFER her a caution and not go by the press'. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl


:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl I bet they drew lots to choose who would interview you.

OpenMind;1155802 wrote: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl I bet they drew lots to choose who would interview you. Looking back, it was hilarious. After the first arrest where there was a tv crew, war vets, various press, Tory councillors and public waiting outside the plod station for nearly 7 hours, they got sneaky on the 2nd arrest which was the charge i was found not guilty of by the way. They arrested me at 07.30 am to avoid the press getting wind. On the 2nd interview they had a detective sitting in. Why??? I'm a fluffy puppy :yh_rotfl

And i swear to god this is true.

During the first stay in the cells, I asked if i could nip outside a fire exit for a cigg. One officer said they used to allow it but a prisoner escaped the previous day when they let him go for a cigg.

On my 2nd stay, as we went into the interview room, an officer said to another 'can you shut that window?', she then said to me 'we lost one out the window this morning'.!!!!!!

When i got out Mr O said that sirens were screaming up the main road around that time so it was true :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

When they took my possessions after being taken in, the desk SGT asked for my wedding rings. I said 'not unless you want a fight'. I kept my wedding rings :yh_rotfl

As i left the cells after the 2ns time i thanked all officers for the lovely kip i got in the cells. The Desk SGT said every time he checked on me, i was snoring :yh_rotfl

I've contemplated getting arrested again just for the crack.

oscar;1155809 wrote: Looking back, it was hilarious. After the first arrest where there was a tv crew, war vets, various press, Tory councillors and public waiting outside the plod station for nearly 7 hours, they got sneaky on the 2nd arrest which was the charge i was found not guilty of by the way. They arrested me at 07.30 am to avoid the press getting wind. On the 2nd interview they had a detective sitting in. Why??? I'm a fluffy puppy :yh_rotfl

And i swear to god this is true.

During the first stay in the cells, I asked if i could nip outside a fire exit for a cigg. One officer said they used to allow it but a prisoner escaped the previous day when they let him go for a cigg.

On my 2nd stay, as we went into the interview room, an officer said to another 'can you shut that window?', she then said to me 'we lost one out the window this morning'.!!!!!!

When i got out Mr O said that sirens were screaming up the main road around that time so it was true :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

When they took my possessions after being taken in, the desk SGT asked for my wedding rings. I said 'not unless you want a fight'. I kept my wedding rings :yh_rotfl

As i left the cells after the 2ns time i thanked all officers for the lovely kip i got in the cells. The Desk SGT said every time he checked on me, i was snoring :yh_rotfl

I've contemplated getting arrested again just for the crack.


Why does the name 'Keystone' come to mind?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

OpenMind;1155831 wrote: Why does the name 'Keystone' come to mind?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl :wah: You would not believe half of it. Mr O approached 3 scroats at our trouble spot one night and worryingly, one of them, no more than 14 yrs old got up to slink off and accidently left his knife on the bench. Mr O grabbed it before he realised. He phone central, made a statement over the phone etc and after all that, they told him to hand it in at the plod station where i was. She asked details of who had touched the knife etc and insited that no-one touched it after him as it would be an on-going investigation. He walked in the nick explained the conversation with central control and that he needed a reciept. The officer took the bag and the very first thing he did was get it out the bag and put his dabs all over it:yh_loser:yh_loser:yh_loser:yh_loser

oscar;1155835 wrote: :wah: You would not believe half of it. Mr O approached 3 scroats at our trouble spot one night and worryingly, one of them, no more than 14 yrs old got up to slink off and accidently left his knife on the bench. Mr O grabbed it before he realised. He phone central, made a statement over the phone etc and after all that, they told him to hand it in at the plod station where i was. She asked details of who had touched the knife etc and insited that no-one touched it after him as it would be an on-going investigation. He walked in the nick explained the conversation with central control and that he needed a reciept. The officer took the bag and the very first thing he did was get it out the bag and put his dabs all over it:yh_loser:yh_loser:yh_loser:yh_loser


:yh_doh:yh_doh:-5

It must be all that paperwork. Our police are no longer required to think more than to iterate.

OpenMind;1155880 wrote: :yh_doh:yh_doh:-5

It must be all that paperwork. Our police are no longer required to think more than to iterate. Exactly..... Another situation at the trouble spot one night and it was me who dialled 999 but of course they just patch it through to the nearest plod palace. I was told to wait for a car. I waited an hour along with shoppers who also witnessed it. Gave up and went home. Three hours after i had rung, two WPC's who were 12 yrs old turned up at my house to explain that every unit had been confined to plod barracks all day for paper-work. Unfeckingbelievable.

oscar;1155999 wrote: Exactly..... Another situation at the trouble spot one night and it was me who dialled 999 but of course they just patch it through to the nearest plod palace. I was told to wait for a car. I waited an hour along with shoppers who also witnessed it. Gave up and went home. Three hours after i had rung, two WPC's who were 12 yrs old turned up at my house to explain that every unit had been confined to plod barracks all day for paper-work. Unfeckingbelievable.


That just says it all really.