Churches
Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 7:52 am
You Know You Are in a Redneck Church When...
* People wonder, when Jesus fed 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish.
* People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.
* The pastor wears boots.
* The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys stand up.
* Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
* A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
* When it rains, everyone is smiling.
* Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.
* The choir group is known as the "OK Chorale".
* Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.
* There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
* Baptism is referred to as "branding".
* There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
* Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
* High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
* People think "rapture" is when you lift something too heavy.
* The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, yah hear?"
* People wonder, when Jesus fed 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish.
* People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.
* The pastor wears boots.
* The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys stand up.
* Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
* A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
* When it rains, everyone is smiling.
* Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.
* The choir group is known as the "OK Chorale".
* Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.
* There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
* Baptism is referred to as "branding".
* There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
* Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
* High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
* People think "rapture" is when you lift something too heavy.
* The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, yah hear?"