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I think each woman is different as well. I think there are several underlying things that each of us (men/women) look for: companionship, love, understanding, being there, friendship.

I think a large part of a successful relationship is luck. Luck on finding the "right" person. Someone who will stay your friend for a lifetime. What a daunting task!

If you are lucky enough to have found this right person, then usually, both of you will weather the tough times and work hard at keeping things going well. It only takes one person to ruin a relationship. You can't save anything if the other decides they want to "walk away."

It's a fingernail biter for those who are looking for a mate!

there are two very interesting books that i read many years ago that try to answer these questions. The books are entitled "He" and "She", written by Robert A. Johnson many years ago - checking - wow, "He" was published in 1974, and "She" was published in 1977. And I just checked on amazon, both are still in print, along with another called "We".



they're very slim little books, each under a hundred pages. but they are really illuminating. highly recommended.

I understand the confusion on this subject, because I think there are alot of women out there who don't know what they want, either. They choose careers that exclude the feasibility of families, but still have babies. Or, they wait so long that pregnancy is no longer an option and have to turn to modern medicine to extend their fertility. They want to have children, but give them to other people (day care centers) to raise. They want men to protect and provide for them, but also want to run the household. They expect men to defer to thier judgement, but refuse to honor or trust their man.

Relationships are a parnership that must be built on respect and trust. Men and women are fundamentally different, but created to bolster each others' weaknesses. Notice I said bolster, not exploit.

I think that the trick is to find a woman who is not afraid to be a woman and welcomes a man who is a man. Find someone who knows what she wants and hope that it is in line with what you want.

I found the right girl many moons ago now. She is my best friend. She is the Boss in our home also. Many males will tell you that they are the MAN of the House. Man rules ok. Another concept brought in by the religious. Male power ok. Most husbands I know tell me they are the MAN. But when I visit their homes I see a very different story.

I really believe that what women want, is the exact same thing that men want. A partner who will treat them with love and respect. Trust is a key aspect in any marriage or relationship. If you don't trust the person you are with, there's no use in being with them. As far as communication, sometimes I believe it is over rated. My husband will not argue with me which is highly annoying when I want to argue LOL. He just clams up and does not say a word! It must work for us though, we've been married almost 18 years.

Common mistakes in general? I'd have to say assuming too much and not asking what she thinks, becoming too comfortable in the relationship and not thinking of her feelings. Life changes and people change. You have to adapt to these changes together.

plazul wrote: In Mexico when men come home they have to leave their sin at the door. And it's okay for them to display machismo towards other men but God help them if they try to bully their wives.

Yes, when I visit the homes of my Mexican friends I'm never in doubt about who really rules the household.


You would have to bring Religion into it.

Oh, and guys? Do you want to know how to make a woman really, really angry? Omit the truth. You guys and probably some of us women think that omitting the truth is not the same as lying. WRONG! An ommission of truth, is an admission of guilt.

plazul wrote: Women do get taken for granted by their husbands and their kids. I think of the typical wife and mom working a drudge job and running a household too. Doing laundry and cooking while couch potato husbands watch TV and kids play video games. It would be nice if they could come home to a clean house and a dinner date now and then.

Men should take courses in romance too. How about a little tenderness and a compliment for a change instead of the usual silence and indifference. Buy her some roses and break out the Champagne tonight. And put on a clean shirt and comb your hair for Pete's sake!


Roses and champagne would make me ask, "What did you do and how much is it going to cost?" LOL Guess that's why I don't get roses and champagne. Myself, getting flowers delivered to work, such as blue carnations, would just thrill the heck out of me. Would you guys be embarrassed to get flowers or a dish garden delivered to your job?

No No Women are not the weaker sex. We are. Oh I can hear you saying,that Irish punk again... but seriously could any of us go trough with that pain of bearing children. I certainly could not. And looking after screaming babies day and night. No Way. I hate crying babies. And then clean & look after our homes,and prepare a nice dinner when we get home at night.

We may have the Big muscles to prove how big and strong we are,but We are Not the stronger sex.

My woman is my best friend, lover and wife all rolled into one. And She puts up with me.

capt_buzzard wrote: No No Women are not the weaker sex. We are. Oh I can hear you saying,that Irish punk again... but seriously could any of us go trough with that pain of bearing children. I certainly could not. And looking after screaming babies day and night. No Way. I hate crying babies. And then clean & look after our homes,and prepare a nice dinner when we get home at night.

We may have the Big muscles to prove how big and strong we are,but We are Not the stronger sex.

My woman is my best friend, lover and wife all rolled into one. And She puts up with me.
sounds like you are both very lucky,

Funny with Women, they are alway's Right, even when their wrong. :-5 :-5

capt_buzzard wrote: Funny with Women, they are alway's Right, even when their wrong. :-5 :-5


Wrong when? We are NEVER wrong.

capt_buzzard wrote: You would have to bring Religion into it.


Strike that out.

Peg wrote: Wrong when? We are NEVER wrong.


My Maggs, is my Number 1. :guitarist

It is true...I am a woman and I can vouch for that. No two women are alike.

Sure, there may be similarities in some women, however, I tend to look at the personality of each individual rather than looking at their gender. There are hyper men and hyper women...bad men and bad women, good men and good women, etc. There are some men that I get along with very well and some I just don't. Same goes for women...really, it is the personality type that I look at, it really helps.

I was married for 15 years to a man whom I thought I really knew. I am divorced now, but I feel that I have learned a lot from my marriage experience. There are some people who you get along with really well and some you don't.

Here is something to read. What are your feelings about this article?

Makow - When Love Is A

One-Night Stand

What Do Women Want?

By Henry Makow, PhD



When I was younger, I couldn't understand what women wanted.

This is because women themselves didn't know.

Feminism told them to be independent, to have careers and lovers. But their instincts told them to get married and have children.

Recently Mary, an American woman living in London England wrote:

"I am 39, twice divorced, childless and could not understand why it is so difficult for me to find Mr Right. Thanks to your website now I know exactly why. I will show one of your articles to my lady friends [who] are very unhappy and complain that most of the men they meet (and we are talking about men over the age of 30, not 15) just want sex and refuse to commit. I have become spiritual as a result of my loneliness and eagerness to procreate.

In the meantime, I will read your articles faithfully and thank God that someone has the guts to come out with the truth. For the past five years I kept asking myself why my life has turned out as unfulfilling as it has whereas my mother didn't have that problem (she was born in 1929)."

Mary is one of millions of men and women (including myself) who do not have families because of a covert campaign of psychological warfare against heterosexuals. This Rockefeller-sponsored program of social engineering and eugenics is waged under the guise of "feminism" and "equality." The pill, sexual liberation and the mainstreaming of homosexuality are all part of it. See "Sexism is Heterosexuality (http://www.savethemales.ca/040902.html) and "Playboy and the (Homo)sexual Revolution" (http://www.savethemales.ca/091101.html)

The aim is to degrade depopulate and destabilize humanity by divorcing sex from procreation and by pretending gender roles are social and not biological in origin. Women have been brainwashed to usurp the male role and abandon the female.

The resulting conflict and confusion has led to a breakdown of marriage and family. This produces dysfunctional people who are obsessed with sex and look to the corporate media and state for values and direction.

WOMEN'S SELF-DEFEATING BEHAVIOR

Mary identifies the nub of the problem: men "just want sex and refuse to commit." Young women today act like sex is the only way to attract men. They try to parlay sex appeal into lasting love and family. This is self-defeating. It is sending the wrong message to men.

Ladies, if you want love and family, do not present yourself in sexual terms. How can you differentiate yourself in terms that practically any young woman can provide? No wonder you are dumped!

Instead present yourself as potential life partners: wives and mothers. In other words, dress modestly and prepare to be indispensable to the man and children you love. Learn the skills of a homemaker and helpmate.

Yesterday, a female cashier at Safeway shocked me by smiling. I quickly realized that it was part of her job description. Natural female charm (warmth, grace, cheerfulness, attentiveness, modesty) has been crushed under the jackboot of feminism.

Ladies, make sure a man is worthy of you. Don't get involved with sexual nomads who haven't time for courtship and marriage. Sex is the act of procreation. Sex should always take place in the context of love, preferably marriage.

Our children are literally part of us. They represent our organic growth. It is healthy, natural and normal to feel possessive about them. They are us.

PROMISCUITY

Promiscuity is not normal or natural for heterosexuals. As I have said elsewhere, the heterosexual bond is built on trust. Trust is based on monogamy.

The ruling lluminist cult portrays traditional morality as "old fashioned." Traditional morality is the accumulated wisdom of mankind regarding happiness. Our moral conduct is more important to our health and happiness than diet and exercise.

Monogamy is good for men, too. A friend wrote: "Men get their sense of self worth from the love and respect they get from their families, the honest production they create at the work place and they feel good about what they are doing when they believe that they are building a better world for their children. All of this has been taken from us Henry. It is so sickening that very few men have the courage to look at any part of it."

Women also depend on a man (their husband) for personal fulfillment. This is why they are obsessed with love and marriage.

In marriage, a man assumes a responsibility to fulfill his wife as a woman, i.e. as a life partner and mother. Women are /different/ from men. They are instruments, vehicles. They need to be cared for and /used/ for a higher purpose or they will rot on the vine or /explode/ with frustration.

Sex is a small part of life. We live in a bizarre precarious world and we need to choose real people with character and ability to be our mates. Love grows from day-to-day caring over a long period of time.

THE FOCUS OF MARRIAGE

Marriage is not about sex and mutual adoration. That gets boring fast. It is about getting things done, doing God's work at home and in society.

They've tried to discredit God by blaming him for everything that goes wrong. God is not a fixer. He is a spiritual ideal: absolute truth, justice, goodness and love. Our ability to conceive these ideals is what makes us human.

We are intended to bring these ideals into the world. If we don't do it, it won't happen and we will deservedly suffer the consequences. Most people care about their children but pay little heed to the real state of the world they will inhabit.

The proper focus of marriage is not on the man and the woman, but on God. In particular, the man should have a vision of how he will serve God. The wife should choose a man whose vision she can share.

What do women really want? They want to weave a web of love. This is a family devoted to spiritual ideals.

------------------

Henry Makow Ph.D. is the inventor of the board game Scruples and author of "A Long Way to go for a Date." His past articles exposing feminism and the new world order are found on his web site www.savethemales.ca

He invites feedback at Henryatsavethemales.ca Some may be posted anonymously.

RESPECT, how hard is that, appreciate all the things we do, including dirty socks, yuk....rubber gloves please.

Brenda, are talking to yourself, women do that too? Women in my family run tough. You can only keep so much in the heart, i feel respect is it. if some-one does not respect what i do, get a life. I am the most giving, hardworking, but i am to the point, no horse **** here, take it or leave, is what i say. or you just screwed yourself, we make our lives the way it is. Emotions become distant, that affords less aggravation from losers. I know i am loved and appreciated, people just don't mess with me. No mutts here, i let them know right away, you have a problem, so keep it for you, not me...bye, bye...

Great thread!!



What are the common mistakes men make in regards to women...tough question, mostly because it is so general. So, I'll just tell you what I've experienced, and hope it makes things a little clearer.



I married young, raised our son, divorced, and have been single for the past 6 years. I've dated over the past years, of course. Now I've met someone very special, but I've no idea where he's at emotionally, what will happen, or even what he wants. LOL! Gentlemen, how's that for irony?



At the start of a relationship, men go all out. When I listen to a man on a date, I swear he is trying to sell me something. I hear about his job and his future prospects, his habits, and lifestyle. This is usually followed by a questioning period where they ask me what I want in a man, how I like to be treated. Then they go all out to do that.



I appreciate it. I really do. But it doesn't tell me what I want to know - which is what kind of heart and mind does he have? Who is he really? Can I respect this man, will he be the person I want to talk to at the end of every day, or?



Common mistake #1 - Don't assume women want to know the basic details of your life. We want to know that, AND who you are, AND we want all the romance of courtship as well. Demanding creatures, aren't we?



Common mistake #2 - I notice that men tend to see a specific side of my personality, and then they act shocked by any deviance from that. Well, some days I'm mellow, some days I'm solely concerned with my own ambition, some days life is funny, some days life is sad. So, I'd say don't forget that men and women both are comprised of many layers - and the excitement of a new relationship is slowly, gently discovering those layers. Allow her room to be who she is, even if she is changeable. This allows her the same freedom, and gives you room/security to be all the things you are.



Common mistake #3 - Men in general are much better at getting over fights and rough patches. You guys battle it out, say your piece, and then go on. You seem to hold few grudges. I admire this a lot. But don't think you can criticize a woman and then have great sex two hours later. It's not gonna happen, LOL. We women seem to internalize every word good and bad. We are not skilled at letting things go when we are younger - we learn this as we get older.

Basically, we get very hurt if we think we've fallen off that proverbial pedestal. It takes time to get over it and act mature about it. If you don't allow the woman the time she needs, she'll bite you. That would be the "maniacal axe murdering" side that was previously mentioned. LOL. I've greatly simplified that, but hopefully you understand my meaning.



If men could find a way to say what they're thinking and still assure her they wouldn't trade her for the world...that'd be a great solution. I don't know how this could be done because frankly when I'm mad at someone the last thing I want to do is spend energy assuring them they are special to me.

An ex of mine used to complain about something and then snap, "And don't go on about this all night, either. All it means is I don't like a cold dinner!" Not the most romantic way to say it, but it did kind of slap me into realizing it wasn't the end of the world.



Common mistake #4 - If she trusts you, then she'll bring all of her problems to you. Don't fix them. Men who love always want to fix things, and it's a great quality. Save it for your friends, your jobs, and so on. She just wants one person on her side to help her reset her balance. Hug her, kiss her, ask her if she's planned a way to handle it. This shows her that you respect her. That you know she has the smarts to fix her own problems, and that you see her as more than a cook, maid, and bed partner.



Common mistake #5 - Never never under-estimate the power of tenderness. Don't be afraid to let her know the things you love most about her. A good woman will repay you many times over. A mean woman will hurt you badly, I can't deny that. But hopefully you will be insightful enough to recognize meanness when you see it.



I believe that tenderness is they key to everything. It leads to good sex, and good sex leads to more tenderness. It gives us the motivation we need to get over small hurts, and to keep working at communicating and solving problems. If you aren't comfortable with "sappy" talk, you can still touch her face, brush her hair, or run a bath for her. Some women mentioned things they like such as being served a cup of tea in bed. The key is to know what makes her feel good, and to provide it for her without her having to ask.



And finally, some common mistakes men make with me (being older, divorced, and an empty-nester), is that men seem to expect that I will change my whole life for them. I'm very busy. I have a demanding job and I go to college as well. I have hobbies and a few close friends I enjoy spending time with.



When I first meet an interesting man and we go out, I tell them I am very busy. They are really supportive and positive about my goals. Then suddenly they aren't so supportive. It becomes a major battle every time they want to go out and I have a paper due, or it's quarterly season at work, or...



Men expect women to understand that they want time with the guys, that they will never stop working on cars or watching football or whatever it is they spend time on. Women deserve the same kind of respect. (Can you tell this pisses me off? I don't like the sudden change in attitude when I've been upfront and fair about my limitations - and they've initially agreed to it.)



Don't change the rules or expect things to suddenly go a certain way because you've reached some mysterious point. It's mind-boggling/confusing/maddening.

And, for me, I truly wish they wouldn't get so mad about it - the guilt trip and argument over MY lifestyle doesn't inspire me to spend more time with them. If they could just say they miss me and would like to see me, what can we do?, then I'd be thrilled. I'd find a way to see them.



Well, that was a lecture and a half, wasn't it? In fairness, men and women both have things we're good at. It can be really hard to make those strengths work together especially when we're emotionally vulnerable. Nobody wants to be the fool, and nobody wants to hurt. If we're smart about it, we can see that when we combine our strengths and are careful with each other's weaknesses, we build something much better than ourselves. We encourage the best parts of each other. The high we get from that is worth the work.

plazul wrote: I like flowers. But I think guys like growing them more than getting them.


Does that mean you are a guy, who likes guys... :wah: :wah: