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I wondered whether I should put this in the Test forum, but I'm not sure I've managed to start a thread in the right forum yet, and saw no reason to change. :wah:

England to bat, damp overcast swinging conditions, no Flintoff, no Aussie spinner (apparently Warne is having fits!) and the Ashes in the balance.

OMG! Strauss very lucky to be there after the first ball!

11-1 Strauss goes to a great catch! Can't really complain after his luck with the first ball. Tut tut, Andrew. Shouldn't have been wafting at that.

Now Ravi - prove Bryn and myself wrong and show you can build an innings...

AUGH!

Ravi, Ravi, Ravi, WHAT was that???

16-2 and England in trouble already.

Depressed prediction: If Cook doesn't get a ton, England will lose this Test.

I will be watching from behind the sofa. :-1

Posting from behind the sofa: The sun is starting to burn through and that should make batting easier as the ball will probably swing less.

Mitchel Johnson on. Will he swing it? will he bounce it on the cut bit? Enquiring minds want to know!

Eeep! If Bell plays shots like that I'll be watching with a blindfold and earplugs fairly soon!

Keep up the reporting Clod, this is the only place I've seen what's happening so far.

England's not capable of collapse, not these days, what matters is whether the Aussies are able to stay intact against our onslaught once we're in tomorrow.

England's not capable of collapse,


:eek: Candidate for most overoptimistic statement of the series/decade/recorded history...

Nervous? Me?

I'd say that Bell and Cook look to be steadying things a bit now, but that's the sort of comment that causes wickets, so I won't.

Mitchel doesn't seem to be moving it off the straight. But he is a wicket taker, even when bowling badly - every now and again he produces a beaut from nowhere.

Seem to be in a quieter phase of the game: England looking to lose no more wickets before lunch and therefore taking fewer chances in....

Noooo. Bell gone. No complaints about Bell - got out by a great bouncer that he couldn't quite avoid/play down. Just what I meant about Johnson being a wicket taker.

England in baaaaad trouble.

39-3

Johnson bowling better than previous Tests. Seems to bowl a very heavy ball with that slingy action and his line is much better than it was. However, the sun is now properly out and there doesn't seem to be quite as much swing.

Well done Australia - a very good start making the most of the conditions.

43-4. Didn't see the wicket, but all four Aussie bowlers have taken a wicket.

This is a collapse. I blame spot. grrr.

Harmison is a very destructive bowler, but even he needs SOME runs to play with.

Well, we've made 50. Not going to be our lowest ever score.

There will now be a short pause while I flush my head down the toilet a few times.:-1

Prior attacking. I suppose it's all he can do.

Come on England: FIGHT!

Ok, two more wickets while I had a shower.

Afternoon session. Conditions now sunny and bright, still a little easy swing and ...wicket. 92-7. Oh well, looks like we'll make 100, which was in serious doubt for a while.

Australia will almost certainly be batting by tea and I expect them to make absolutely TONS of runs in this situation, knowing all they have to do is be patient.

Harmison miracle required.

Warney just said England need the tail to wag. More like effin helicopter...

Harmison out for a duck. 98-8.

Siddle did bang him on the bonce, which may not be the wisest thing. Prior, however, is showing that batting on this pitch is NOT that difficult.

It's all spot's fault!

Australia haven't bowled badly, but I really don't think they've bowled as well as the figures would suggest. For whatever reasons, England have just not been here, mentally speaking.

100-8, Jimmy Anderson now 53 innings without a duck! What a peculiar record for a tail end batsman to hold.

Oh no. He hasn't tweaked his hamstring, has he?

Not sure. He's doing a few stretches.

Anderson gloves a bouncer to the keeper. 102-9

Well bowled Siddle.

102 All out.

Congrats Siddle: gets his 5 wickets.

Now.

Cue the Harmison miracle!

(Well, I can dream!)

Ok, opening few balls had me in the garden smokin' and steamin'.

Then Harmison and Strauss set the leg gulley trap for Katich and....WICKET! Woohoo!

Maybe Siddle will regret banging Harmison on the bonce. I note he's not played against Harmison before. chuckle. Wonder if all the Aussies who HAVE played Harmison before had a sharp intake of breath at that moment.

Well, at least England have at last woken up!

Odds on though that Ponting will settle things down and be there at the close. Damn fine player.

23-1

England bowling waaay too erratic. 20 of those runs have come from short wide balls that have gone for 4.

England bowling as though lobotomised: short and wide, short and wide. Ponting making hay - 32 runs from 26 balls.

PITCH IT UP

Maybe Onions has a brain. Please...

61-1

Australia resume on 69-1.

Have England learned anything? Final session will show.

Well, looks like someone has had a word about pitching it up. Probably with a stump.

76-1

spot;1226673 wrote: Keep up the reporting Clod, this is the only place I've seen what's happening so far.

England's not capable of collapse, not these days, what matters is whether the Aussies are able to stay intact against our onslaught once we're in tomorrow.


Bit too late to delete this eh Spot ?

We've been drugged. I'm sure of it

Snowfire;1226792 wrote: Bit too late to delete this eh Spot ?

We've been drugged. I'm sure of itI got in a few minutes back. The thread has made painful reading.

If anyone suggests a suitable medicine I'll take it. On the other hand, tomorrow will be an exciting experience after a start like this.

Just sitting here smiling sweetly.



<-----------------Refer to Avatar





:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

The whole of this thread is totally and utterly inaccurate!......It's the Fourth Ashes test!.............:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Gawd help us! We're screwed.

Its only cricket,:-2 Who cares. Not like it is a proper sport is it.:yh_rotfl

Barman;1226983 wrote: Its only cricket,:-2 Who cares. Not like it is a proper sport is it.:yh_rotfl


:-2:-2:-2

bite your tongue young man.!!!!

fuzzywuzzy;1226953 wrote: Just sitting here smiling sweetly.






I will sit & smile with you.

Great reporting though Clod,bit more interesting than some on TV:-6

I just watched the delayed high lights ................I am so sorry guys, that was dismal no matter who's team it was.

But what's with the booing? who boos at a test match?

I've got 214 - 4 how far behind am I in the delay? It says "live" but ...........?

fuzzywuzzy;1227105 wrote: I've got 214 - 4 how far behind am I in the delay? It says "live" but ...........?


Lets face it, we are well and truly screwed, even a miracle isn't enough now.

I just don't understand what you're captain is doing.........why keep a fast bowler/pacer in when you should have a spinner?

I'm not understanding what he is doing.

Still sitting,grinning,not saying much.................................yet;):D

England 96-6.

Matter of time only.

Reports suddenly stopped because of arrival of friend needing anaesthetic after watching most of the first day's play. :wah: (visiting different friend yesterday - anyone else seen Seven Lessons with Mr Gormsby?)

This Test has been like watching England in the bad old days when they played like that all the time. Suppose it shows we have moved on in the last ten or fifteen years but OUCH it has been painful. Actually, I'm surprised there's still a full house in to watch it. Says something about the popularity of Test Cricket here that the ground is full after England's performance of the last few days.

Ah well. Hope you Aussies are enjoying this!

Fuzzy: Re booing of Pontin: Think I said earlier he's our favourite pantomime villain. I don't think it's anything more than that. Then the Authorities made a big fuss about it and have told the crowd not to boo, which of course guarantees even more booing.

England 117-6. Means nowt.

Mrs K: Thanks for nice comment.

dubs: Fourth Test....:wah: Oops - still thrown by the First Test being in Cardiff!

120-7. Good catch by Hadden.

If we can scrape past the Australian total and get maybe a hundred runs on top before the last wicket falls we can still pull it off. Go England!

spot: you are asking for 318 runs from the last three wickets! Theoretically possible, in practice it ain't going to happen.

spot;1227688 wrote: If we can scrape past the Australian total and get maybe a hundred runs on top before the last wicket falls we can still pull it off. Go England!


I love a bit of optimism.

I'm going to hide myself from the embarassment. Its too painful to watch

England 96-6.


oohhh that's gotta hurt sorry guys .

Snowfire;1227690 wrote: I love a bit of optimism.

I'm going to hide myself from the embarassment. Its too painful to watch


Oh come on 'snow' I've watched torture before you gotta keep going.

But don't you guys see ?. We don't have a particularly good team. what the hell are you guys doing? what the heck is your captain thinking ? You guys could have us stumped if you wanted to. Your'e not exactly lacking talent here. what's going on?

fuzzywuzzy;1227692 wrote: Oh come on 'snow' I've watched torture before you gotta keep going.


Physical torture I can endure. Watching us embarass ourselves for nearly three days is far more painful. Such capitulation only gives the Azzies heart for the Oval and gives us a mountain to climb

when it comes to the Ashes I like to see cricket, 'proper cricket'. I don't care if it's aussie or england or India or pakistan. Leave the composition crap to the one dayers ......It's a chess game and I want to see good captainship and good strategy.

BTW hedinglot? heddingtn? sorry nice ground though .Gorgeous, Kudos to the groundsman

fuzzywuzzy;1227695 wrote: when it comes to the Ashes I like to see cricket, 'proper cricket'. I don't care if it's aussie or england or India or pakistan. Leave the composition crap to the one dayers ......It's a chess game and I want to see good captainship and good strategy.


Well, you wont have seen much of that from Strauss. Maybe thats part of our problem We've never produced spectacular captains like you lot have. Apart from being a great cricketer, Ponting is a great captain

got to accept that after Ponting got over his initial crap (drinking and the rest ) he came up a good bloody captain. bBut what of you guys? your captain isn't silly ....what eh heck is going on?

I at least want to see a bloody game . got it on delay so don't tell me , score wise.

Snowfire;1227698 wrote: Well, you wont have seen much of that from Strauss. Maybe thats part of our problem We've never produced spectacular captains like you lot have. Apart from being a great cricketer, Ponting is a great captain


spectacular captains? ....you mean the one that had us turn the world upside dwn ? Chappell? what a disgrace.



for all you guys we havent forgotten . disgusting! most dispicable thing I've ever wittnessed . shame on him!!!!!..........not cricket!!!!!

lets face it , Strauss is at least playing cricket

Fuzzy: Don't understand it either. England lost the game before they appeared to wake up.

Ok, we've lost both Pieterson and Flintoff and that affects things, but it seems that if Strauss doesn't make a big score, no-one does. Bopara has gone from hero to zero in four games, Bell and Collingwood aren't quite up to the standard, and it seems the Aussie bowlers have worked out Cook.

Ok, anyone can lose a few quick wickets on the first morning of a game at a damp and overcast Headingley, but basically England's shot selection was awful, and then the bowlers bowled short and wide - at Headingley, which is widely known as a pitch that requires accurate full length bowling. In short we played stupid cricket.

Given that the Oval is a flat pitch on which the last county game saw over 1000 runs scored for less than 10 wickets total this probably means Australia will draw the series and retain the Ashes.

But hey - nothing is certain in cricket. I'll save my optimism for the Oval.

You know , I'm probably one of the few (apart from my ex's father ) but I don't care who retains it . I just want to see a good game . And I'm not sure what I"m wittnessing at the moment. This is not a game............... this is crap..............hey I don't have to tell you guys that................. I"m just watching cricket ..I'm happy.

Swann and Broad scoring at one heck of a rate! Maybe spot's miracle IS going to happen! (Won't put scores up since you're on the delay).

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

This is truly bizarre! Surely it can't last!?!?

No, it can't. Ah well, fun while it did.