ForumGarden

I love nothing more than to have a good laugh, here is my joke for the day:-

A panda walks into a bar, goes right to the counter, grabs a sandwich and after having eaten it he takes a gun out of his pocket and shoots the bartender. Then, as though nothing had happened, he walks out. Everyone in the bar is sitting all speechless and petrified but suddenly someone breaks the silence:

-What a hell was that?!?

Comes a sorrowful voice:

-It was a panda.

-???

-Perhaps you don't know what a panda is... It's a mammal that eats, shoots, and leaves.

And I always thought it was the 'pet' name of the old 'local' British police car ! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl





:D

G#Gill;1246067 wrote: And I always thought it was the 'pet' name of the old 'local' British police car ! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl






Good God, that's a blast from the past! I haven't seen one of those old panda cars in years! :wah:

You'll have me humming the tune from Z cars next . . . . . once I can remember how it goes! :wah:

Gill... Rap... This is what they look like these days only they broke this one !!! Anyway, A canadian tourist breaks down in Wales. The Mechanic tells her she's blown a seal. She say's 'Yeah !! And you *uc* Sheep' !!

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Now that's funny.. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

[QUOTE]Gill... Rap... This is what they look like these days only they broke this one !!! Anyway, A canadian tourist breaks down in Wales. The Mechanic tells her she's blown a seal. She say's 'Yeah !! And you *uc* Sheep' !!

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CARLA;1246090 wrote: Now that's funny.. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl


excuse me?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the

grocery Store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who

asked, "Son, can You tell me where the Post Office is?"

The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a Coupla blocks and turn to your right."

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town. I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get To Heaven."

The little boy replied with a chuckle. "Awww, come on... You don't even know the way to the Post Office."

librtyhead;1246146 wrote: A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the

grocery Store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who

asked, "Son, can You tell me where the Post Office is?"

The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a Coupla blocks and turn to your right."

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town. I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get To Heaven."

The little boy replied with a chuckle. "Awww, come on... You don't even know the way to the Post Office."


awwwwwwwww that one was just so cute!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have

to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said,

'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.

You might have got disability, too.'

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it..... He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said,

"Well, then which one are you?"

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My Goodness!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?

loving the jokes guys

heres more to make you smile

Wittle Wabbit

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"

The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."