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1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, If I died, would you get another dog?

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

14. Dogs never ask where you're going or when you'll be back.

15. Even female dogs never bitch at you about anything.

16. Dogs like for you to leave the toilet seat up.



And last, but not least:



17. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

omg!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Disadvantages - if men were more like dogs:

Men may give you lots of things, but dogs will give you fleas

Men may smell bad, but at least they don't roll in horse poo.

Men may scratch a bit in public, but at least they don't sit down and chew themselves.

And really, yes really, I'd rather have sex with a man than with a dog.





On the other hand... if men were more like dogs, there would be a few advantages.

If they barked too much or kept slipping off at night to fight with other dogs or screw around, you could take them to the vet and get them sorted.

:sneaky:

AussiePam;1247118 wrote: Disadvantages - if men were more like dogs:

Men may give you lots of things, but dogs will give you fleas

Men may smell bad, but at least they don't roll in horse poo.

Men may scratch a bit in public, but at least they don't sit down and chew themselves.

And really, yes really, I'd rather have sex with a man than with a dog.





On the other hand... if men were more like dogs, there would be a few advantages.

If they barked too much or kept slipping off at night to fight with other dogs or screw around, you could take them to the vet and get them sorted.

:sneaky:




:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Hey Pam, don't forget, a dog gives you unconditional love, devotion and respect, despite any of your short-comings !!!!!!!!

:wah: Yeah, Pammie.

G#Gill;1247150 wrote: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Hey Pam, don't forget, a dog gives you unconditional love, devotion and respect, despite any of your short-comings !!!!!!!!


Shortcomings????!!! I don't think I have any of those Gilly!!!

I thought of another reason I prefer my blokes not too be too canine, Chonsi.

A dog might bring you in the morning newspaper (complete with slobber) but can a dog make you that first great coffee of the day?

AussiePam;1247355 wrote: Shortcomings????!!! I don't think I have any of those Gilly!!!

I thought of another reason I prefer my blokes not too be too canine, Chonsi.

A dog might bring you in the morning newspaper (complete with slobber) but can a dog make you that first great coffee of the day?


I wasn't meaning the Pam 'you' I was meaning the anybody 'you' :p

Funny though, Gilly. My family were all discussing our eccentricities, shortcomings, idiosyncrasies etc just the other day. And we were unanimous in deciding that it's these very imperfections which endear us to each other. Stepford Wives, Stepford Husbands, Stepford Kids would be pretty boring after the first five minutes...

------

As I drove to the gym early this morning - there were only joggers out and people walking their dogs. I noticed one woman, in particular, carrying the obligatory plastic bag.

I don't really want to have to scoop up my bloke's natural outpourings in the course of our morning constitutional????????

AussiePam;1247419 wrote: Funny though, Gilly. My family were all discussing our eccentricities, shortcomings, idiosyncrasies etc just the other day. And we were unanimous in deciding that it's these very imperfections which endear us to each other. Stepford Wives, Stepford Husbands, Stepford Kids would be pretty boring after the first five minutes...

------

As I drove to the gym early this morning - there were only joggers out and people walking their dogs. I noticed one woman, in particular, carrying the obligatory plastic bag.

I don't really want to have to scoop up my bloke's natural outpourings in the course of our morning constitutional????????


:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Aaah but would he 'poop scoop' for you, if positions were reversed ??? :wah:

Bit mind boggling innit ? .......................................... imagination can be a wonderful thing, don't you think ? :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Will a woman hump your leg? :-2

She might if it was a really sexy leg! Or for a price. Consider it a version of pole dancing!!

:sneaky:

AussiePam;1247475 wrote: She might if it was a really sexy leg! Or for a price. Consider it a version of pole dancing!!

:sneaky:


Leg dancing. Hmmmm. Might be better than lap dancing.

hoppy;1247454 wrote: Will a woman hump your leg? :-2


If you pay me enough money.



Mulder, my male dog was licking his bollocks last night.

Pete said 'wow, I wish I could do that'.

I said' Give him a bone and he might let you'.

oscar;1247528 wrote: If you pay me enough money.



Mulder, my male dog was licking his bollocks last night.

Pete said 'wow, I wish I could do that'.

I said' Give him a bone and he might let you'.


That set me off on a laughing fit. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

:yh_rotfl good stuff

and i like the vet visit Pam suggested :sneaky:

woman should be more like dogs eh hoppy

what on earth made you think they are not :sneaky::sneaky::yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

oscar;1247528 wrote: If you pay me enough money.



Mulder, my male dog was licking his bollocks last night.

Pete said 'wow, I wish I could do that'.

I said' Give him a bone and he might let you'.


so this is what bollocks means?

I've wondered this for sooooooo long!

we just say balls here.:yh_rotfl

farmer giles;1247598 wrote: woman should be more like dogs eh hoppy

what on earth made you think they are not :sneaky::sneaky::yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl


Speaking of dogs, did you ever see the movie "dog fight"? About a contest between a bunch of GI's to see who can bring the homliest gal to a party. Good movie but a sh!tty thing to do.

hmm... No.

AussiePam;1247118 wrote: Disadvantages - if men were more like dogs:

Men may give you lots of things, but dogs will give you fleas

Men may smell bad, but at least they don't roll in horse poo.

Men may scratch a bit in public, but at least they don't sit down and chew themselves.

And really, yes really, I'd rather have sex with a man than with a dog.





On the other hand... if men were more like dogs, there would be a few advantages.

If they barked too much or kept slipping off at night to fight with other dogs or screw around, you could take them to the vet and get them sorted.

:sneaky:


Ouch.