ForumGarden

I asked Tombstone to post the following but he was reluctant to do so and said I could create an identity in order to do so...Thanks Tombstone.

I took him up on the offer because I must do this.....

Dear Tombstone, I would like to sk you to leave a message on your forum from me. I understand if you choose not to. rjwood

Dear Members of ForumGarden,

I've asked Tombstone to be so kind as to post this message. I understand that if I want to move forward in my life I need to attempt to reconcile the past. I'm not sure how to do this, so please have patience.

First permit me to say that I've come to some recent revelations in myself that have left me feeling a bit surreal. Though not an excuse for my behavior while a member of this fine community, contributing factors nonetheless. This letter is my attempt to set the record straight. While I'm eternally grateful for Tombstones decision to delete my previous existence by leaving only the shell behind, I realize that you folks are so much more deserving of an apology and yet a thank you for being so kind to endure me for as long as you did.

You see, where I've been and who I am has given me the opportunity to review myself in order to come to my present understandings. I am however so sorry for the pain I've caused those of you whom had been the victims and targets of my outrageous carrying ons while a member here. I mean that!

You know me as rjwood which is my first two initials and surname. I didn't know where I could say that and still hold your attention. Before you leave in disgust at this point, please read on. Not because I'm seeking your sympathy, but because you deserve my best, which isn't much in the grand scheme of things, but its all I've got to offer you.

I would like to say that much of what I had expressed as a member in the way of general topic was me trying to engage others in area's of discussion that I believe have relevance in all our lives as a society. Some was meant as entertainment and the rest was purely selfish and unkind to certain people. However, in my own little world, I thought I was being shockingly truthful and honest. Which brings me to where I need to get to here.

I have in my time since being justifiably driven off from this forum been trying to understand why I do the things I do. You see, this has been not just a aberration, but an ongoing process of my entire life with a few exceptions with family members and one or two close friends. While I've had many friends in my life, I've not been able to maintain them for long periods of time. Not only that, but I've had many difficulties functioning as a cordial and constructive member of society. That combined with many other abnormalities that have been a part of me since my memory serves me. But until just weeks ago I could never put my finger on why.

I'm so lucky that I have dedicated children and a wonderful partner. I've often said during the course of my marriage that anyone else would have left me long ago. I'm so fortunate that I actually am surrounded by people that love me. Not even some of the kindest people that have ever existed can be so fortunate to say that, no less a person such as myself.

I've had to take a long hard look at me and with the help, understanding and assistance of my family I've had to be willing to consider the idea that I'm different than most of you. I've been researching a lot lately and have taken some unofficial tests and am convinced that I am among the scores of people with autistic qualities. I fit the profile of Asperger syndrome 100%.

I believe that all of us are most likely touched by autism to some degree, I more so than most. I also believe that we all are probably members to some degree of schizophrenia, again, me more so than most.

I need to tell you that while I'm coming to terms with all this, it is your kindness and tolerance of me and my behavior as well as of the way you've all dealt with me that has contributed to me finding myself, though not to my most favorable liking. I'm 53 years old and I certainly would have liked to have known this much much earlier so I could use this knowledge for some betterment. Who knows, I may have rejected it anyway at any given point in my life.

Spot, I truly am sorry for the manner of disrespect in which I treated you. You are a kind, understanding person who I have always admired and learned so much from...Thank you!

Jester, while I completely disagree with you in many area's, I apologize for the way I expressed it.

JAB and Koan, I'm sorry!

Theia, MrsK, Accountable, Nomad and Carolly, thank you for trying to understand and befriend me.

Coberst, thanks for the education and the great advice you offer.

Flopstock and Abby, thanks for the way you dealt with me in the end.

There are so many others I could mention by name that are deserving of my gratitude. and I hope you all know who you are. There is absolutely not one person who has been a member of this community that I've had the fortune to know that owes me anything, not one of you were ever unkind to me in any undeserving fashion whatsoever.

Lastly, this brings me to yaaarrrgg who I expect probably saw me for who I was long before I did, He has been the loyalist of friends that has stayed with me through thick and thin for about 3 or 4 years now (as you all know what a chore that is). Thank you, Kevin, I owe you sooooo much. Kevin and I had started a forum together since my banning from here and I could have emailed that thank you to him, but I want you all to know what a descent person he is. There was never any complicity on his part to cause disruption here, he was only being my friend.

If I'm fortunate enough again and Tombstone has decided to post this message, I close by saying Thank You again and if I ever have the golden opportunity to befriend any of you in another life or place that would be my distinct pleasure.

rj

p.s. I was One and Poster, and I'm sorry for that as well.

Welcome back RJ. :-6

Welcome back RJ, my son has Asperger syndrome. Knowing how my son struggles with day to day issues, life must have been incredibly frustrating for you. I'm glad you are working things out and coming to terms with it. :-6

Whats up RJ? You never bothered me but I reckon there still is time..:wah:

Maybe that brings the number of current life bans down to nine, then.

I'm not kind, RJ, and the fact that I understand things only adds to my unpopularity.

By all means stick around if Tombstone's content to allow it. Oddly enough I was talking about you with Snowfire only a few hours ago, I hope he forwards our PM exchange to Tombstone, we might see several more ex-members back if this momentum's maintained.

I was playing with potential rules for ideal forum etiquette a month or so back, this is what I came up with:Idealistically we'd like posters to drag themselves to as central a position as they feel they can legitimately post. If you know of evidence that counters your assertion then include it, don't suppress it and hope the other parties are unaware it exists. If a thread of different-minded posters can bring a discussion to a point where a core aspect can be agreed by all participants then the intention in setting this forum up will be fulfilled.

To help toward that goal we demand that all posters are invariably, even artificially, polite. Superpolite. So polite that even your own mothers wouldn't recognize you. Rudeness will also eventually lead to some form of admin intervention. It's a high ideal to aim at but we'll see how it goes. Treat these rules as unaccustomed luxuries if you like but try as hard as you can to help the other posters in a thread to achieve their fullest potential. There aren't many places out there where you get such an opportunity. Make the most of it.

The management also insists, after considerable hard-earned experience, that no posts be made through any form of proxy system.Maybe we should both voluntarily adopt them and improve a few discussions here.

This is purely coincidental to our discussion Spot. Me and rjwood have never crossed posts in anger or otherwise. I had no plans to either discuss our PMs or pass them on to Big T. They were a simple expedition into your opinions and concerns. It wasn't at all rallying call on my behalf for wholesale return of former members. Simply a natural curiosity as to how to deal with such a situation, given the brief visit of Saint and subsequent questions regarding his and others, return...or not, as the case may be. Thats the decision of those members and Big T himself. I've no desire to be a fly in anybodies ointment.

Fly in the ointment? Consider yourself more an essential lubricant, mate. It was an entirely coincidental exchange as far as this thread's concerned but I do think it might ease the situation if you put it forward one way or another. I'll cross my fingers.

Thank you, all.spot;1261715 wrote: Maybe that brings the number of current life bans down to nine, then.One that I'm aware of, Spot. It would be Ubuntu forums and that was at my request because I had caused a problem with one of the administrators there who was actually a friend at the time, It was a kind of stupid protest by me. If there are others out there that I'm unaware of I'm happy to know which ones.

spot;1261715 wrote: I'm not kind, RJ, and the fact that I understand things only adds to my unpopularity.Yes you are but perhaps not to me and I deserve that. I'm not sure what you mean by what you understand, but I'm willing to try to address it with your help if you'd like.

spot;1261715 wrote: By all means stick around if Tombstone's content to allow it. Oddly enough I was talking about you with Snowfire only a few hours ago, I hope he forwards our PM exchange to Tombstone, we might see several more ex-members back if this momentum's maintained.

I was playing with potential rules for ideal forum etiquette a month or so back, this is what I came up with:Idealistically we'd like posters to drag themselves to as central a position as they feel they can legitimately post. If you know of evidence that counters your assertion then include it, don't suppress it and hope the other parties are unaware it exists. If a thread of different-minded posters can bring a discussion to a point where a core aspect can be agreed by all participants then the intention in setting this forum up will be fulfilled.

To help toward that goal we demand that all posters are invariably, even artificially, polite. Superpolite. So polite that even your own mothers wouldn't recognize you. Rudeness will also eventually lead to some form of admin intervention. It's a high ideal to aim at but we'll see how it goes. Treat these rules as unaccustomed luxuries if you like but try as hard as you can to help the other posters in a thread to achieve their fullest potential. There aren't many places out there where you get such an opportunity. Make the most of it.

The management also insists, after considerable hard-earned experience, that no posts be made through any form of proxy system.Maybe we should both voluntarily adopt them and improve a few discussions here.On one hand I'm completely embarrassed for all this...including this. I don't deserve anyones forgiveness, especially yours and that of a couple others, though I do maintain that my making public what I did make public concerning our PM's was a mistake.

I'm not looking to joust with you, Spot and I don't know what I'm going to do in the next 5 minutes no less tomorrow or the next day other than do what I do every other day and that is to wake up a little more comfortable with myself each morning. I'll most likely sit in front of my computer tomorrow and the day after scanning the same sites over and over again for no apparent reason other than simply just to do it. I'll make a little money in the interim, feed myself and work at maintaining what healthy relationships I have left. Thats all I can do, Spot.

spot;1261728 wrote: Fly in the ointment? Consider yourself more an essential lubricant, mate. It was an entirely coincidental exchange as far as this thread's concerned but I do think it might ease the situation if you put it forward one way or another. I'll cross my fingers.


You pay the nicest compliments. Others might suspect you were calling me "oily"

Robert J;1261729 wrote: Thank you, all.One that I'm aware of, Spot. It would be Ubuntu forums and that was at my request because I had caused a problem with one of the administrators there who was actually a friend at the time, It was a kind of stupid protest by me. If there are others out there that I'm unaware of I'm happy to know which ones.I should have written more clearly, I had no intention of suggesting you were banned elsewhere. The nine remaining life bans I mentioned are other ex-members of ForumGarden who can't return.

Welcome back RJ ! :-6

G#Gill;1261734 wrote: Welcome back RJ ! :-6 :DThank you!

spot;1261732 wrote: I should have written more clearly, I had no intention of suggesting you were banned elsewhere. The nine remaining life bans I mentioned are other ex-members of ForumGarden who can't return.This is one of my difficulties. I mis-read people and what they try to represent, then I become defensive and argumentative.

The main problem is I can't guarantee it won't happen to me again which has me scared out of my wits right now. I do promise that I'll try to conform to your super rules, the members here deserve no less from me. Please remind me when i venture off the path though. I trust your judgment.

spot;1261732 wrote: I should have written more clearly, I had no intention of suggesting you were banned elsewhere. The nine remaining life bans I mentioned are other ex-members of ForumGarden who can't return.


Why in the world would anyone have retained that bit of knowledge?:-2





hey rj - good to see ya!:-6

robert j;1261735 wrote: thank you!
saints alive

welcome back buddy

flopstock;1261747 wrote: Why in the world would anyone have retained that bit of knowledge?:-2





hey rj - good to see ya!:-6Thank you! I saw your message in my personal area but wasn't sure whether or not you knew who you were talking to. Its good to see you also, the view is better from my end.

oscar;1261748 wrote: saints alive

welcome back buddyThank you!

Hiya RJ. :-6

abbey;1261760 wrote: Hiya RJ. :-6Hi Abby! Its so nice of you to say hi.

Good to see you RJ :-6

Betty Boop;1261712 wrote: Welcome back RJ, my son has Asperger syndrome. Knowing how my son struggles with day to day issues, life must have been incredibly frustrating for you. I'm glad you are working things out and coming to terms with it. :-6Yours is a fortunate son, not only because of you being his mum:), but also because his view of the world and life are worth paying attention to.

Its only frustrating when you're unaware of the situation which puts your son miles ahead of me.

theia;1261767 wrote: Good to see you RJ :-6u2, Theia!

Robert J;1261762 wrote: Hi Abby! Its so nice of you to say hi.It's a new dawn rj :-6

Peg;1261702 wrote: Welcome back RJ. :-6Hi, Peg, and thanks!

YZGI;1261713 wrote: Whats up RJ? You never bothered me but I reckon there still is time..:wah:Hey! Its nice to see you! You're so laid back, if I couldn't get you, you can't be gotten.:wah:

Hi RJ, we haven't met, but I wanted to say welcome!:-6

Hey you:-6



It's great to have you back RJ......I've missed you:p:D



Now get posting and don't leave again:-6;)

Welcome to FG, RJ :guitarist

Hey hey hey RJ

Welcome back matey:-6

Lets hope this is a new beginning in more ways than one

Welcome back RJ! Well done. I'm all for letting bygones be bygones and allowing everyone a second chance on here. :-6

Well well well WELCOME back RJ..!! :-6

Thank you, Odie! Pleased to meet you.

Thank you, Chezzie, Mustang, Carla, Gman and Kathy Ellen. Did i miss anyone?

Hi RJ.

chonsigirl;1261877 wrote: Hi RJ. :)Hi Chonsi.

spot;1261715 wrote: we might see several more ex-members back if this momentum's maintained.


And fascinatingly enough..here I am. Bringing the life ban down to 8.

So polite that even your own mothers wouldn't recognize you. Rudeness will also eventually lead to some form of admin intervention. .


I will disagree here. I would replace "politeness" with "civility," since emotions can run high when debating hot button topics like politics and religion. The line between "passionate defense" and "rude attack" is a fine one, but I'd hate to sacrifice the former in fear of the latter.

Of course personal attacks will always cross the line.

Saint_;1261902 wrote: And fascinatingly enough..here I am. Bringing the life ban down to 8.





I will disagree here. I would replace "politeness" with "civility," since emotions can run high when debating hot button topics like politics and religion. The line between "passionate defense" and "rude attack" is a fine one, but I'd hate to sacrifice the former in fear of the latter.

Of course personal attacks will always cross the line.Hi Saint. Did I know you in your other life?

Robert J;1261903 wrote: Hi Saint. Did I know you in your other life?


Possibly RJ. I was one of the original members when FG was young. I'd rather that persona died, though. I like my new, wiser, kinder self better.

Saint_;1261910 wrote: Possibly RJ. I was one of the original members when FG was young. I'd rather that persona died, though. I like my new, wiser, kinder self better.Well its a pleasure to meet you.

Hello & Welcome back RJ:-6

mrsK;1261940 wrote: Hello & Welcome back RJ:-6thank you, MrsK.

spot;1261728 wrote: Fly in the ointment? Consider yourself more an essential lubricant, mate.Now that, Snowfire is is a noteworthy compliment. Take that one home with you.

Nice, to meet you, SF.

One big happy family....

the prodigal sons are returning

mikeinie;1262290 wrote: One big happy family....

the prodigal sons are returningI'm shooting for a trip on that boat if I ever make it to Ireland.