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Do you have a long lost love? A path that your life might have taken except for circumstances? Someone you'd like to have made a life with, but it just didn't work out?



Long ago in high school, I met a wonderful girl and fell in love for the first time. Like all high school romances, it was passionate beyond compare and heart-wrenchingly clear and ecstatic. We almost never left each other's company day or night for three years. I used to sneak out of my bedroom after 1 am, drive across town, sneak in her window and spend the night with her, only to get up at 5 am and reverse the process. ( I found out later that my parents always knew, but had decided it was better just to keep quiet.)

She was pure sweetness and life to me. I called her "Magic." I have only met a few people in my life since then that could match her generosity of spirit, warmth, intelligence, and love of life. Sadly, like many young loves, we fought and broke up one week after graduation as we debated our future. She dated another boy for that week, and in a tragic scene at a party, what could have become a magnificent lifelong love for the ages ended with hurt teenage feelings.

She married that man a year later, and I came late to the wedding. As I sat there watching the love of my life exchange vows, I wanted to shout out at the part where they ask for objections. I still loved her deeply. But I said nothing. Perhaps the greatest mistake I have ever made in a life filled with mistakes, for, as she turned and saw me, I could see in her eyes and face that she still loved me too.

We drifted apart over the years. But we met each other again a decade later and became fast friends again. We went to concerts together and floated rivers. As I suspected her marriage didn't last. (He was abusive and neglectful by turns.)

We should have repaired that old mistake then and gotten married, but the timing was wrong and she wasn't ready. Once when I was all the way down and out, she loaned me money to pick myself up again. I did the same for her a couple of years later.

My work took me away from Phoenix, and eventually I found and married my wife and started a family. Even so, we still stayed in touch over the years, and called each other on our birthdays. We could always talk to each other about anything and we were each other's best counselors and best friends. She would e-mail me usually about every six months or so and we'd catch up on families. She had had a daughter with her husband, and a son who served in Iraq.

I hadn't heard from her for about eight months and I started to get a nagging feeling that something was wrong. I tried to call her number, but it was disconnected. I called the Mayo Clinic where she had worked for 27 years, but they told me, "She no longer works here" and refused to give me any other information.

I was seriously worried now, since in her last communication, she had hinted at trouble with her male "roommate" who, from her description, was a lazy do-nothing leech. After some research, I located her older brother yesterday who informed me,

"I'm terribly sorry, Carolynn was killed."

That's all I have. Just that. The police have not released any details about the killing although it apparently happened all the way back in February, nor was I able to get any from the department. All I got was an answering machine. (Updated, I finally found her daughter and got the whole story, but it's as cryptic as ever. Carolynn was found in her bathroom, sliced to ribbons with broken glass everywhere. She had over 50 slashes. The police suspected her live-in malcontent boyfriend, but can't prove anything so the case languishes.):(

Today, I put her picture up on my desktop screen as a memorial to her. As I did that, almost to the second, our old song came on the radio..."Strange Magic" by ELO.

Tears came to my eyes, but I smiled. I guess she's all right where she is now, and I'll see her again.

So long, goodbye, farewell, and amen, Carolynn. I'm sorry our paths became so tangled, but I'm ever so thankful for the time we had together.:-4

::rose4::Carolynn Leigh Herrera - My friend- 1960 - 2008

(The picture of her was taken at a Wild West Re-enactment play where she often performed.)

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aw Saint that is very touching

oops I forgot to vote.

I don't have anyone like that from my past however I am very much a "the past is the past the door is closed" kind of person.

gmc

Yes, but on another site i found him. we talk of the OLD days. and how we once felt for one another. It was healing for both.:-4

Beautiful story, Saint. Thanks for sharing. Do you think it strange that "your" song began playing at that exact moment?

Yes, I have my first love, unrequited, who came to me in a dream to tell me he loved me, after years of being apart. The thing is he had just died on a ski slope when he came to me, but I didn't learn this until a few weeks later when I tried to find out where he was.

Edited to change "unrequited" to "unresolved."

Zapata;1288157 wrote: Beautiful story, Saint. Thanks for sharing. Do you think it strange that "your" song began playing at that exact moment?


No. As I grow older, I seem to see that there are less and less things I am willing to call "coincidences" and more and more things, billions-to-one chances, that I seem to feel are "planned.":o

Yes, I have my first love, unrequited, who came to me in a dream to tell me he loved me, after years of being apart. The thing is he had just died on a ski slope when he came to me, but I didn't learn this until a few weeks later when I tried to find out where he was.


Yep. Things exactly like that.

I hear you, Saint!

I've never found real, true love. Maybe I expect too much. Dunno.

Saint, what a sad, but wonderful memory, thank you for sharing it with us. Yes, one day, you will meet again I'm sure. :-6 Then you'll be in a pickle with the Mrs

Wow, well written, sad.

oh wow... that brought a tear As i read that i was screaming OBJECT TO THE MARRIAGE!!! OBJECT!!!!! That's a pretty legit story. Like way legit! anyways... no I have not. I still haven't even gotten my first kiss yet! or even a boyfriend!! c'est la vive i guess.

I have a few relationships in which I thought I was in love turn for the worse, but since then have came to a clearer understanding of what love is and is not and what constributes to having a long health relationship. Since then I have a better clearer understanding of how the idea of love is formed from the idea you have that ther is someone out there for you, add that to nauturalistic attractions to mate to insure the survivial of the species. I have come to a realization that those relationships never had what I would call love as I understand it to be now.

littleCJelkton;1314286 wrote: Since then I have a better clearer understanding of how the idea of love is formed from the idea you have that ther is someone out there for you, add that to nauturalistic attractions to mate to insure the survivial of the species. I have come to a realization that those relationships never had what I would call love as I understand it to be now.


You mean you no longer believe there is someone out there for you?:-2

Saint_;1314326 wrote: You mean you no longer believe there is someone out there for you?:-2


Correct, I don't believe that I am predestined to be with anyone, I don't believe love is something that is controled by anythiing other than the two people in question. I explained most of my beliefs of love on a post on here called "what defines love".

So sad and lovely Saint

Saint_;1314326 wrote: You mean you no longer believe there is someone out there for you?:-2


Actually if I really think about it I did lose love as it is when pertaining to psychological ideal adopted by the cultural societies majority. I have never lost a love which is what is supposed to be a person who in someway embodies the ideals that are associated with the psychological idea of love.

yeah. someone that i met and fell for in high school but wrong time wrong place type thing. they were dating someone, and also i was just messed up then. but i still think about them over a decade later. allllll the time. its annoying and strange because ive dated people and gotten my heart broken/broken hearts, but this person always sticks in my mind, and i think we liked each other and that was all. no "relationship" really. i mean we were friends for a little while. when i say i knew this person for a couple of weeks, and i havent stopped thinking about this person for years...i think i just have issues or something. the reason im even here is because i need some closure or something. i want to contact them but, it just seems weird. i know they remember me but what could i possibly have to say to them. "Stay out of my dreams/mind!" strange strange strange. lovely post btw. gave me chills! i love that song, it reminds me of young love

Falling in love was painful. I was always a guy that just roamed and met a few people along the way. I remember the day that I saw her well. I was in La Jolla and at her company to make a client happy. I sat in on a meeting. she got up to speak. Somewhere in her presentation, I thought "Whoa, I like the way she thinks", and I looked up. Wow, she was beautiful. So, you could say that it was her mind that hooked me. I had zero people skills, so getting her out on a date was a major problem. Oh my! When I finally asked her out on a date, it was the date from hell! So of course we are happily married. Oh damn, that first date was a funny story.

Yes, I do.

The real tragedy is that she never existed. I just thought she did, and married her. Turned out she was gay and just wanted a place to stay and a deposit for her house, which she got out of our marriage. She was not, I have discovered, faithful at any time. She was also an incredibly skilled liar.

The worst thing is I still love the person I thought she was. Have not been able to have a relationship since. Tried a couple of times, but trust is an issue. Don't even try any more. I consider myself blessed with my friends and that will do.

Do you have a long lost love? A path that your life might have taken except for circumstances? Someone you'd like to have made a life with, but it just didn't work out?



I'm sure everyone have one of tose in there lifes, its called "the one that got away" but for the most part, even though they got away that doesnt stop most from moving on to find other & smometimes better loves that balance them out, where that make better mates being the one that got aways couldnt or wouldnt go the distance, be it marriage, engaged or even to go out on a simple date being you had the crush on them but they didnt with you., so its best that you moved on and made the best of your life not dwelling on your past, being if you stay in your past you have no time for your future !!!

Matter of opinion: at the time that "one" got away for me I defined "Love" much differently than I do today, and now don't really consider it the "one" that got away. I don't believe in Love as the majority here seem to define it when talking about "the one that got away", that being said something can't get lost that was never there in the first place.

scarletgirl44;1398690 wrote: Do you have a long lost love? A path that your life might have taken except for circumstances? Someone you'd like to have made a life with, but it just didn't work out?



I'm sure everyone have one of tose in there lifes, its called "the one that got away" but for the most part, even though they got away that doesnt stop most from moving on to find other & smometimes better loves that balance them out, where that make better mates being the one that got aways couldnt or wouldnt go the distance, be it marriage, engaged or even to go out on a simple date being you had the crush on them but they didnt with you., so its best that you moved on and made the best of your life not dwelling on your past, being if you stay in your past you have no time for your future !!!