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I went to visit my Dad's graveside, he has been there since 1965, god bless his soul:-4

I had placed pebble beach rocks around the site and put in 8 hosta's years ago.

Place upon his tombstone was a laminated picture of him and I just before he passed away........

I was just there two weeks ago.........

Much to my surprise and shock today...it was all gone..and had been sodded over.....

I stood there in shock.......

I went and spoke to the admin in charge yelling, why did they do that?:-5

How could they do that?:-5

This is my fathers graveside, they had no right!:-5

long story short, they have sodded over many, she thought it was because the plants or rocks where no longer any good until she looked at my dad's file in amazement to see that a year ago.......someone backhoeed over it and everything was a mess. (I had complained then as well).......the superintendent then placed the soil and rocks back to where they were.

I demanded restitution, a cheque so I could replace everything or I will take this to civil court..she was really really nice and understood how I felt and said oh dear, you don't want to take it to civil court...we will give you a cheque to replace everything.

This is a huge well known cemetery here.....why the hell or who the hell has the right do this?......no one.

she agreed.

I asked her, why did they not call my brother or myself first?



I will wait for that phone call to have them write me a cheque.:-5thinking::rolleyes:

I feel for you. About a month or so after my dad was buried, mom got a phone call. They put him in the wrong lot. They explained the records were missing or incomplete from years back when my folks bought the plot. The real owners of that plot finally needed it so, they had to dig him up and move him over about 25 feet to a vacant location. It upset mom but my dad would have got a good laugh.

Odie

all Cemetary's have rules/guidlines for grave side decorations.

such as - all flowers will be picked up weekly etc. I know I'm limited on "all" items left at a grave.

as far as damages - yes - the Cemetary should've called a Family member on record.

I know my Husband's Vase has been damaged many times from workers, and some decoration have been stolen.

Sorry - I know this is upsetting

and I hope everything can be replaced.

Patsy

WOW would I be off the charts pissed.

I hope they get things straightened out. Did the destroy the picture or just bury it? I think adding pebbles is very nice. In Jewish tradition they place rocks around the headstone. It was to hide the fact the graves were visited. They also last allot longer then flowers.

Well I hope you kick some ass and take some names.

Patsy Warnick;1312395 wrote: Odie

all Cemetary's have rules/guidlines for grave side decorations.

such as - all flowers will be picked up weekly etc. I know I'm limited on "all" items left at a grave.

as far as damages - yes - the Cemetary should've called a Family member on record.

I know my Husband's Vase has been damaged many times from workers, and some decoration have been stolen.

Sorry - I know this is upsetting

and I hope everything can be replaced.

Patsy


thank you Patsy.

It's extremely upsetting.

workers don't care what they break do they?

I'm sorry some decorations had been stolen.

Gravesides are humble memorials to our loved ones and a place for us to go and pray or meditate. We would ofcourse be upset if our memorial had been disrupted in some way so I don't blame you, Odie, for being upset . A groundskeeper at a cemetary should be surveying the grounds on a regular basis and the owner of the cemetary should be keeping a record of each plot and how the family members want it kept.

Several years ago, a sister-in-law glued a ceramic angel on the top of my infant son's headstone without consulting me. I could have been upset, but I let it go. Why? Because this sister-in-law did share some time with the child during his short life. She lives near the cemetary, and this was just her way of expressing that she still thought of him with love.

panzermk2;1312399 wrote: WOW would I be off the charts pissed.

I hope they get things straightened out. Did the destroy the picture or just bury it? I think adding pebbles is very nice. In Jewish tradition they place rocks around the headstone. It was to hide the fact the graves were visited. They also last allot longer then flowers.

Well I hope you kick some ass and take some names.


thank you panzermk2.



I was off the charts pissed and she knew it and 4 others there.

The picture is no longer there, just like everything else, who knows where it is, its just people who come in and told to place sod down, they don't care do they?

I did not realize that placing rocks is a Jewish tradition to hide who had visited.



We are aloud to plant flowers, circle the graveside off with beach rocks like I did, small edge fencing and more.

hoppy;1312394 wrote: I feel for you. About a month or so after my dad was buried, mom got a phone call. They put him in the wrong lot. They explained the records were missing or incomplete from years back when my folks bought the plot. The real owners of that plot finally needed it so, they had to dig him up and move him over about 25 feet to a vacant location. It upset mom but my dad would have got a good laugh.


thanks hoppy!

I phoned my brother just awhile ago and he was livid.:-5

omg....the wrong plot.........that would have really upset your mom.

along-for-the-ride;1312406 wrote: Gravesides are humble memorials to our loved ones and a place for us to go and pray or meditate. We would ofcourse be upset if our memorial had been disrupted in some way so I don't blame you, Odie, for being upset . A groundskeeper at a cemetary should be surveying the grounds on a regular basis and the owner of the cemetary should be keeping a record of each plot and how the family members want it kept.

Several years ago, a sister-in-law glued a ceramic angel on the top of my infant son's headstone without consulting me. I could have been upset, but I let it go. Why? Because this sister-in-law did share some time with the child during his short life. She lives near the cemetary, and this was just her way of expressing that she still thought of him with love.


thank you AFTR, they are a place for us to go to and just meditate.

The groundskeeper will be the one phoning me, and I will again, blast him.

I'm so very sorry you lost your son, I had no idea.

I would have been upset if someone glued something on his headstone as well.

People (Cemetery workers) can be just not thinking when they do their job. They don't even realize how it negatively affects the loved ones of thoughtless things they do!



Anyway, be sure to stay on top of the reimbursement thing!

I think it is very sad what happened, I hope that you can make his site more beautiful once again.

cars;1312431 wrote: People (Cemetery workers) can be just not thinking when they do their job. They don't even realize how it negatively affects the loved ones of thoughtless things they do!



Anyway, be sure to stay on top of the reimbursement thing!


These workers knew what they were doing as it was ordered by the caretaker, many grave sites were re-done in sod.

thanks cars, I will stay on top of things.

chonsigirl;1312432 wrote: I think it is very sad what happened, I hope that you can make his site more beautiful once again.


thank you chonis, actually now that I have calmed down and talked to my brother, I am looking forward to a new start.

I'm thinking of buying some sort of edging to put in a circle and plant some new types of hostas with red multch inside the perimeter.:-6

odie;1312376 wrote: i went to visit my dad's graveside, he has been there since 1965, god bless his soul:-4

i had placed pebble beach rocks around the site and put in 8 hosta's years ago.

Place upon his tombstone was a laminated picture of him and i just before he passed away........

I was just there two weeks ago.........

Much to my surprise and shock today...it was all gone..and had been sodded over.....

I stood there in shock.......

I went and spoke to the admin in charge yelling, why did they do that?:-5

how could they do that?:-5

this is my fathers graveside, they had no right!:-5

long story short, they have sodded over many, she thought it was because the plants or rocks where no longer any good until she looked at my dad's file in amazement to see that a year ago.......someone backhoeed over it and everything was a mess. (i had complained then as well).......the superintendent then placed the soil and rocks back to where they were.

I demanded restitution, a cheque so i could replace everything or i will take this to civil court..she was really really nice and understood how i felt and said oh dear, you don't want to take it to civil court...we will give you a cheque to replace everything.

This is a huge well known cemetery here.....why the hell or who the hell has the right do this?......no one.

She agreed.

I asked her, why did they not call my brother or myself first?



I will wait for that phone call to have them write me a cheque.:-5thinking::rolleyes:how awful!!!!!!:-5:-5:-5.

Having thought about it on only a select number of occasions I've come to the conclusion that I could care less if someone strapped me to the back of a wild mustang via rope and dragged me through downtown of any city amidst a raging crowd of day tripping, "chipper" enthusiasts.

Honestly, what's the difference?

Being shoved into a giant landfill would suffice I would think a hell of alot better than forcing my relatives, or anyone "duly inclined", to pay thousands of dollars for a box of wood to only then pay thousands more for a piece of 8x6 feet realestate!

I think I'll just donate my body to science and have people prod at my lifeless body. Hope she's cute!

southern yankee;1312438 wrote: how awful!!!!!!:-5:-5:-5.


It was sheer shock:(:mad:

K.Snyder;1312441 wrote: Having thought about it on only a select number of occasions I've come to the conclusion that I could care less if someone strapped me to the back of a wild mustang via rope and dragged me through downtown of any city amidst a raging crowd of day tripping, "chipper" enthusiasts.

Honestly, what's the difference?

Being shoved into a giant landfill would suffice I would think a hell of alot better than forcing my relatives, or anyone "duly inclined", to pay thousands of dollars for a box of wood to only then pay thousands more for a piece of 8x6 feet realestate!

I think I'll just donate my body to science and have people prod at my lifeless body. Hope she's cute!


:eek:

Snyder

This thread is not a question on Your last wishes...

Are you on drugs? Because I find your reply insulting.

Go to your land fill & stay there...

Patsy

Odie

It sounds as if this Cemetary allows alot - do you know what a individual grave site is allowed to have & for how long etc.?

Why I ask - you listed alot around the grave site - could you put up a small fence?

Say a Bi-Fold type to protect your area.?

Here in the U.S. - you purchase a plot & receive a deed to land.

which indicated corner to corner your area.

Any way - just a idea to protect your shrine area.

Patsy

Patsy Warnick;1312448 wrote: Odie

It sounds as if this Cemetary allows alot - do you know what a individual grave site is allowed to have & for how long etc.?

Why I ask - you listed alot around the grave site - could you put up a small fence?

Say a Bi-Fold type to protect your area.?

Here in the U.S. - you purchase a plot & receive a deed to land.

which indicated corner to corner your area.

Any way - just a idea to protect your shrine area.

Patsy


no, we can't put up fences as that is not allowed.

it wasn't very big what I had made, you can take up the entire space if you like, most don't, as you need walking space through others, and I only took maybe one third.

pebble beach rocks are not big, click on 2x

K.Snyder;1312441 wrote: Having thought about it on only a select number of occasions I've come to the conclusion that I could care less if someone strapped me to the back of a wild mustang via rope and dragged me through downtown of any city amidst a raging crowd of day tripping, "chipper" enthusiasts.

Honestly, what's the difference?

Being shoved into a giant landfill would suffice I would think a hell of alot better than forcing my relatives, or anyone "duly inclined", to pay thousands of dollars for a box of wood to only then pay thousands more for a piece of 8x6 feet realestate!

I think I'll just donate my body to science and have people prod at my lifeless body. Hope she's cute!
As my past family were all cremated i do not have this problem but the wife does with her family being buried. It is very upsetting when councils seem to make choices on behalf of the bereaved but they usually have reasons. Not all people can visit graves during good sunlight if they work all day and need the areas kept clear. If the council didn't remove some ornaments and make the area safe for other relatives visiting, they or the family could be sued should they trip on an adjoining grave ornament and break a leg.

odie, have you considered maybe planting a rose bush in your fathers honour in your garden where you can see it every day and cherish it? Or making a small corner of your garden an area where you can sit and think of him? You don't need a grave to adorn to remember your father as his spirit is with you and not in some graveyard.

Patsy Warnick;1312445 wrote: Snyder

This thread is not a question on Your last wishes...

Are you on drugs? Because I find your reply insulting.

Go to your land fill & stay there...

Patsy


If I were dead I'd have to imagine I would stay there...

None the less what's happenned is a complete failure to uphold the promises given to those family members affected. Seeing as how Odie is doing all she can to appease the situation what's there left to do exactly?

You just have issue with me from a prior thread that's all that is Patsy

Odie;1312443 wrote:


I think I could forever help science and thus create my own life of eternity through it...I think it's an exceptional idea

:yh_wink :yh_kiss

K.Snyder;1312547 wrote: I think I could forever help science and thus create my own life of eternity through it...I think it's an exceptional idea

:yh_wink :yh_kiss


did you not read my first post?

That happened with my Aunt's grave. Her husband left flowers, and they had some policy on what type and color you could leave (as well as you couldn't leave fake flowers) so they took them away. They also had some ridiculous rule that you could only leave them there for a couple days and you either had to remove them yourself or the cemetery would for you.

Maristar87;1356703 wrote: That happened with my Aunt's grave. Her husband left flowers, and they had some policy on what type and color you could leave (as well as you couldn't leave fake flowers) so they took them away. They also had some ridiculous rule that you could only leave them there for a couple days and you either had to remove them yourself or the cemetery would for you.


obviously this place is more interested in looking good than allowing their loved ones to grieve.