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I would just like to share this article from today's Telegraph with you.

Desolate life of a single dad - Telegraph

:-1 Oh, that is a hard aspect of life today. It must be hard for you so many times, OM.

Sending you mega hugs OM....:yh_hugs:yh_hugs:yh_hugs:-4

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I don't know if I would survive.

OpenMind;1327848 wrote: I would just like to share this article from today's Telegraph with you.

Desolate life of a single dad - Telegraph
Have you thought about joining 'Fathers for Justice'? I do not suggest you dress up as Batman and scale Big Ben but you would be with other Dad's In the same situation.

oscar;1327856 wrote: Have you thought about joining 'Fathers for Justice'? I do not suggest you dress up as Batman and scale Big Ben but you would be with other Dad's In the same situation.


I hadn't, but only because of the Batman image.

As suggested in the linked article, and evidenced by my own experience, lawyers aren't interested in amicable settlements for obvious mercenary reasons.(I'm female, ie the mother, granted custody.)

But even if , as a divorced couple, you intend the optimum outcome for your children, events can militate against this: one or other of you finds a new partner; the new partner is envious of the previous relationship maybe and has influence over the possibly aggrieved partner. Maybe the father loses heart and drifts away from the relationship. If/when the mother forms a new alliance, resentment from the father kicks in and he makes life difficult for her and her children. All these things are understandable if not very noble.

It's all a great pity for the children involved - that's all I know.

I know just how hard its been for you as you and I talk on fb.

I don't know how you manage this so called lifesytle that was created for you.

I honestly have never believed that the woman has all the rights and men have nothing and also end up with nothing..........

Your strong, one day......things will change for you.:-4

OpenMind;1327858 wrote: I hadn't, but only because of the Batman image. You have my phone number/

Just to add - in my own case, the "grown up" child seems to have no particular allegiance to either parent; ie he seems antipathetic to both, for his own reasons - with which I am in complete empathy, however sad that might be.

There are no winners in this kind of situation.

Odie;1327867 wrote: I know just how hard its been for you as you and I talk on fb.

I don't know how you manage this so called lifesytle that was created for you.

I honestly have never believed that the woman has all the rights and men have nothing and also end up with nothing..........

Your strong, one day......things will change for you.:-4


forgot to add, Arabella is just so adorable, I love that pic!:-4

It's not so great as a single mother either. And I think it's best that folks that aren't actively in a situation avoid passing judgment against either party. It's tough, but you have to remember that there are emotions coloring the tales of the wronged and generally both sides feel wronged.

flopstock;1327930 wrote: It's not so great as a single mother either. And I think it's best that folks that aren't actively in a situation avoid passing judgment against either party. It's tough, but you have to remember that there are emotions coloring the tales of the wronged and generally both sides feel wronged.


Well said Flops. Certainly not great as a single mother when the dad plays games with the children as my ex does.

Both sexes are capable of playing games just as both sexes are also capable of being level headed and just get on with doing the best they can for their children.

I have to say though, it doesn't always end up going in every mothers favour either. I've encountered plenty of single dads just lately that have indeed got full custody of their children, they are on the rise. It seems to me that when courts are involved they are choosing the best possible option for the children. It's just sad that it's the court that is forced to make such decisions because relationship battles become more important than the welfare of the children.

"Less obvious is the loss to the father (mother) when their children stop being part of his (her) daily life."

This is a painful truth. When you are used to being there at home and doing all the daily rituals with your children and it suddenly stops. It is very hard to get used to. Even if you do get to see your children regularly, it's not the same. There are so many little moments that you miss.

along-for-the-ride;1327937 wrote: There are so many little moments that you miss.


So many little moments.

I could do anything with my life right now. Move to the Bahamas, Australia, Oregon.......

I moved to be near my son. He is here right now sleeping. It"s so peaceful knowing he's here. I wouldn't trade this moment for the universe.

Thank you. Everyone in this thread

OpenMind.

Peace.

aw OM it's a nasty reality isn't it. We always want our children and grandchildren happy but it's very sad parents and grandparents are suffering as well.

minks;1328263 wrote: aw OM it's a nasty reality isn't it. We always want our children and grandchildren happy but it's very sad parents and grandparents are suffering as well.


I know the story from the other end too, Minks. From the age of 2, my parents separated and I never saw my Dad again.

This is a painful truth. When you are used to being there at home and doing all the daily rituals with your children and it suddenly stops. It is very hard to get used to. Even if you do get to see your children regularly, it's not the same. There are so many little moments that you miss.


That rang a bell. Not for me but for my poor brother who is going through this at the moment. Made worse because his (not yet ex) wife is playing games with when he gets the kids: makes the arrangement then doesn't turn up with them until much, much later if at all. She's learned that Court Orders can safely be ignored. The solicitors are making a fortune.

Clodhopper;1328273 wrote: That rang a bell. Not for me but for my poor brother who is going through this at the moment. Made worse because his (not yet ex) wife is playing games with when he gets the kids: makes the arrangement then doesn't turn up with them until much, much later if at all. She's learned that Court Orders can safely be ignored. The solicitors are making a fortune.


Lady was in here tap dancing around and so happy because her divorce was final yesterday. I finally went out and told her to get it out of her system here and not take it home with her because to those kids its not the best day and needing celebration.

The girls are 14 and 11. When their Mum plays games with seeing their Dad, by the time they get there he's very upset. Not good. And of course the kids defend their Mum's behaviour as is only natural. He's coping very well, all things considered. My contribution has been to say that the girls are not going to criticise their Mum and the more he can keep his mouth shut on the matter (at least to the girls) the better, and if she keeps doing it, as they get older the girls will see it... He's taken the point, but it's very difficult for him. He adores them, and to stop him from seeing the girls is viciously cruel. I am, of course, biased in my brother's favour, and I haven't heard her side, but it seems to me that she's enjoying using the children to get at him. I think she's a spoilt, vicious and stupid bitch, possessed of low cunning and no morals. (She has been two-timing him for years, apparently)

grr.