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koan's Don't Beat Around The Burning Bush notes on the bible in plain english with modern analogies.

Previous books: Genesis,Exodus,Leviticus,Numbers,Deuteronomy,Joshua,Judges

Back to the books.

Ruth. Really. I've kind of put this one off on purpose. It's an apologetic meant to explain why the beloved King David has some Moabite in his lineage. Aside from that, it's a lovely tale that really could have been spared if they just went back and took out the part about Moabites not being allowed with the "in crowd" for so many generations. What would have been easier?

Instead we get a little ditty about this really devoted chick who pretty much had no place better to go so was she devoted or just devoid of an otherwise meaningful existence?

Story to follow. Just wanted to get that intro off my mind.

Ruth 1

It's a beautiful tale full of melancholy.

Naomi leaves Bethlehem-Judah with a husband and sons because of a famine. Her husband dies, her sons marry some Moabite women then die, the famine ends and Naomi renames herself "bitter" (Mara) then heads back to her homeland. She tells the young, widowed daughters-in-law to go back to their mothers. Ruth insists on tagging along. We are told this is because she is devoted but we can't be sure. It might be because she hates her family, is too young to feel secure on her own, or just decided that the rumours about the Israelites being blessed might work better in her favour. Either way, the bitter one makes her way back to Bethlehem as a widow with no sons and an extra mouth to feed. Somehow this makes Ruth admirable instead of a pain in the ass.

A year later, almost to the day. Time to pick up the tale again.

This has really worked well as a place to jot my rough notes. I'm working on a finished copy now but, obviously, need to finish the rough draft. Thanks to everyone who has shared their input so far. I'm keen to see how the year has refined my humour.

Ruth 2

Ruth must have had charms. Imagine being a black woman at a 1950s PTA meeting. Oh heck, imagine being a single mom at a PTA meeting... who lives in a trailer park. Imagine being anyone other than a spoiled housewife going to a PTA meeting. That was Ruth. The odds were against her.

Did she convince the other members of the PTA that she had value? No. She seduced the principal.

Ruth found out she was allowed to collect all the harvest left behind by the more worthy pickers and she had that forbidden charm so that the land owner, who happened to be related to her dead father-in-law noticed her and said "Do you come here often?"

They exchanged pithy bar stool conversation which resulted in Boaz, the land owner, stating that she was not to be beaten up in a back alley.

Ruth returned to her mother-in-law with a fair amount of grain and Mara became less bitter. Mara offered the sage words "Whatever you just did, do it again."

Ruth 3

Mara, not discernably less bitter, tells Ruth how to make herself more appealing than just appealing. For those curious, that involves having a bath and putting on perfume.

Then comes the subterfuge: sneak in and when Boaz passes out in his bed, take the covers off his feet and lie, probably naked, at the end of his bed.

Mara is a virtuous and purely devout woman with no manipulative tendancies. She's just sayin...

Ruth promises to follow instructions and is rewarded by having a semi drunk Boaz wake up, wondering if he had sex with the naked chick at the end of his bed, and deciding in his semi lucid state that it must be love.

Everyday Average Normal Chicks everywhere listen up: you don't have to actually sleep with him. If you marry for money, the bible says to just get him drunk first, lie in a prone position somewhere unusual and tell him he made you feel like a virgin again.

What just happened here? It doesn't seem honest.

Boaz comes up with a plan to sanctify a marriage to a social pariah and tells her to get the heck out before anyone sees her so it will all look socially acceptable. What a hero.

Mara, who seemingly didn't sleep a wink, asks the obvious come morning: "What happened?"

As if she didn't know. You men are so predictable... according to the bible.

Ruth 4

The story of Ruth finishes with Boaz asking closer kin if they want the land associated with Ruth.

"aye, yes I do"

"then you'll have to take that skank Ruth with it"

"oy, no I won't"

So Boaz seals the deal with a shoe and offers to take the burden of Ruth and her land. We never find out what he thinks of actual sex with her when he's sober and God is keeping his mouth shut throughout this chapter, so we can kind of assume He had nothing to do with it.

That's why the book of Ruth is really just an excuse to explain how David, her later descendent, can be a king despite the curse of the Moabites. If it was anything more, God would have made an appearance.

2 Chronicles 36

16 But they mocked the messengers of God, despised His words, and scoffed at His prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against His people, till there was no remedy.

Time is coming soon koan



All Praise The Ancient Of Dasy

Adstar;1382418 wrote: 2 Chronicles 36

All Praise The Ancient Of Dasy


What about the Elder of Tulip or the Shaman of Petunia the Senior member of the Daffodil

Don't go jumping ahead. Chronicles is not in the Book of Ruth.

Adstar;1382418 wrote: 2 Chronicles 36

16 But they mocked the messengers of God, despised His words, and scoffed at His prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against His people, till there was no remedy.

Time is coming soon koan



All Praise The Ancient Of Dasy


You have a God Squad stalker Koan.

If I bump all the other book threads it might keep him distracted while I complete Samuel in a linear fashion.