ForumGarden

1. Money cannot buy happiness but somehow, it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes Benz than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard’s name.

3. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problem, but then neither does milk.

"If at first you don't succeed, try and try again - then give up .. there's no need to be an idiot."

oscar;1366670 wrote: "If at first you don't succeed, try and try again - then give up .. there's no need to be an idiot."




"If at first you don't succeed .... " Hmmmmmmm. Could you please explain dear. You lost me way back at the "If ... "

A man is not finished when he is defeated. He is finished when he quits. - Napoleon Bonaparte


"Run for it lads" - unknown french soldier at waterloo.

gmc;1366688 wrote: "Run for it lads" - unknown french soldier at waterloo.


Which sir, has exactly what do do with what was posted here? All things considered, I would have thought that the last thing Forum Garden needed right at this moment was a facetious Scot trying rather unsuccessfully to get a laugh at the expense of another member's signature.

jones jones;1366691 wrote: Which sir, has exactly what do do with what was posted here? All things considered, I would have thought that the last thing Forum Garden needed right at this moment was a facetious Scot trying rather unsuccessfully to get a laugh at the expense of another member's signature. I believe my Right Honourable Learned friend was using some characteristics that are confined to the Indigenous population of the British Isles. Irony, a sense of humour, wit, banter, badinage and the ability to laugh at one's self. We did rather hope with the advent of transatlantic airflight and migration trends that these characteristics would catch on.

oscar;1366699 wrote: I believe my Right Honourable Learned friend was using some characteristics that are confined to the Indigenous population of the British Isles. Irony, a sense of humour, wit, banter, badinage and the ability to laugh at one's self. We did rather hope with the advent of transatlantic airflight and migration trends that these characteristics would catch on.


Well then dear lady, thank you so much for explaining exactly what GMC meant!



Okay I get it now ... Is this is what caused offence? "Five Pearls of Scottish Wisdom to Remember. . . "

And so your "learned friend" madam, was not making fun of a part of my signature, but merely being ironic, witty, playful, teasing and making humorous conversation. Then I have totally misconstrued his intent and have behaved like a cad. I do hope he will forgive me! I cannot imagine why I even considered chastising him for simply pointing out my obvious shortcomings! Why I ought to have thanked him. I think I shall do so now. Thank you very much.

jones jones;1366691 wrote: Which sir, has exactly what do do with what was posted here? All things considered, I would have thought that the last thing Forum Garden needed right at this moment was a facetious Scot trying rather unsuccessfully to get a laugh at the expense of another member's signature.


Don't worry one learns to make allowances for the inability of those from the other side of the pond to spot irony (pond get it? that's irony) as well as a total inability to tell the difference between a pisstake and a personal insult.

This is the kind of abuse we have to put up with from our envious southern neighbours.

The Birth of the Kilt - Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow - BBC One - YouTube

Can you imagine the reaction if we used this kind of humour to portray Americans?

The best of fat bastard - YouTube

They'd probably throw all their toys out the pram. I assume you're American anyway.

Stupid American Sayings

These probably came from the Bush and Pallin school of learning.

jones jones;1366664 wrote: 1. Money cannot buy happiness but somehow, it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes Benz than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard’s name.

3. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problem, but then neither does milk.


The other 5....

6) Be worry of those who claim to speak on behalf of someone... God gave them a voice and if it really was that important, they would speak directly

7) Ask for directions because going no place face is less than productive

8) If you can not love someone at their worse; how can you expect someone to be loving you at your best?

9) Think for yourself or do not complain when someone decides for you

10) Everyone has an opinion, but it is only those who act upon it who make a difference

gmc;1366708 wrote: Don't worry one learns to make allowances for the inability of those from the other side of the pond to spot irony (pond get it? that's irony) as well as a total inability to tell the difference between a pisstake and a personal insult.

A **** take I am usually able to recognise so I am beginning to wonder if perhaps my sense of humor is deserting me. Personal insult? No I never saw it as such. I guess maybe I thought, obviously incorrectly, that it just wasn't cricket to laugh at a member's signature/s. I love France but I am pretty neutral when it comes to Napoleon. I just like this particular quote.

This is the kind of abuse we have to put up with from our envious southern neighbours.

The Birth of the Kilt - Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow - BBC One - YouTube

I did not watch this. I agree that American comedy is sometimes a little over the top. I also think that to enjoy British comedy you have to be British.

Can you imagine the reaction if we used this kind of humour to portray Americans?

The best of fat bastard - YouTube

They'd probably throw all their toys out the pram. I assume you're American anyway.


I am aware that in the past there was quite a bit of bad blood between American/British

members on FG. With so many of the "old guard" so to speak leaving, I perhaps, again incorrectly, thought that this might just have eased a little. So I guess I should have known better than to put up this post without first deleting "Scottish Silly of me.

As for this ... I assume you're American anyway ... you assume correct. My father was English and my mother American. But I also have Irish & Scottish ancestors and I have lived and worked in South Africa for quite some time now. However I see myself as an American thru and thru. :guitarist

jones jones;1366806 wrote: I am aware that in the past there was quite a bit of bad blood between American/British

members on FG. With so many of the "old guard" so to speak leaving, I perhaps, again incorrectly, thought that this might just have eased a little. So I guess I should have known better than to put up this post without first deleting "Scottish Silly of me.

As for this ... I assume you're American anyway ... you assume correct. My father was English and my mother American. But I also have Irish & Scottish ancestors and I have lived and worked in South Africa for quite some time now. However I see myself as an American thru and thru. :guitarist Don't worry about offending the Scots JJ. It's born of centuries of feeling Inferior to the English. One reason the Scots welcome global warming. They want to sit on their mountains and watch the English drown.

Your second signature should stand you in good stead JJ

jones jones;1366806 wrote: I am aware that in the past there was quite a bit of bad blood between American/British

members on FG. With so many of the "old guard" so to speak leaving, I perhaps, again incorrectly, thought that this might just have eased a little. So I guess I should have known better than to put up this post without first deleting "Scottish Silly of me.

As for this ... I assume you're American anyway ... you assume correct. My father was English and my mother American. But I also have Irish & Scottish ancestors and I have lived and worked in South Africa for quite some time now. However I see myself as an American thru and thru. :guitarist


There wasn't really bad blood really One or two, on both sides, decided they would find offence no matter what the circumstances - I had one woman accuse me of being anti-american because I didn't capitalise the a in American all the time. The fact that i didn't do it all the time for any country didn't seem to register and it was a stupid thing to get worked up about and she took even more offence when I pointed that out to her. If you have visited any relatives in the UK you will probably have noticed taking the **** is almost a national past time. Some people will start an argument in an empty room.

Do bear in mind you started a thread with what could have been taken as an offensive attack on scots. I don't think you meant it that way and even if you did i have better things to do with my time than take offence. I was having a wee dig at the french not you and was just trying posting what I thought would raise a smile - most british posters would get the humour I think. As it happens there were rather a lot of scots at the battle of Waterloo and being chased by men in skirts carrying bayonets must have been terrifying. It was also a noted battle in that for the first time in their history the french guard turned and ran for it was also the first time they fought the british, in fact it was the first time banaparte had as well. . The humour is in the irony of Bonaparte's comment juxtaposed with the reality. Totally lost when you have to explain it. It never even occurred to me you would think it an attack on you and still don't understand why you would take it that way.

You should watch Michael MacIntyre - the one you didn't watch. He's not an american he's English and it's actually very funny. which is why I posted it. That skit has them rolling in the aisles in scotland believe me. Fat Bastard isn't really seen as offensive either although it it was an american character portrayed that way no doubt there would be outrage. Maybe it's because we have the self confidence not to worry about what people think about you or how you are portrayed the welsh, english and irish are pretty mush the same - say what you like.

Thanx for this. I too often used to not use capitals as that way I could type faster. It also upsets ex school maams terribly. No offence has been taken ... As regards my signatures, well they are due for a change so thanx for the reminder.

Now everyone, do you see how simply it is to resolve a misunderstanding between two earthlings? Even if one is British and the other an American. All you have to do is to use a talent we have all been given ... the capacity human beings have to make sense of things, to establish and verify facts, and to change or justify practices, institutions and beliefs.

"QED" as my Latin teacher used to say!

jones jones;1366935 wrote:

Now everyone, do you see how simply it is to resolve a misunderstanding between two earthlings? ...




Yup. Find another one they can both pick on.