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This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:34 am
by Oscar Namechange
I have never had one In my life before so this Is all very new to me.

I have a boil.

It Is agony and I just don't know what to do with myself. I have even had to take pain killers.

It just will not come to a head so i can do something about It.

I am bathing It In salted water as hot as I can bear but does anyone have any advice?

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:41 am
by Betty Boop
oscar;1370149 wrote: I have never had one In my life before so this Is all very new to me.

I have a boil.

It Is agony and I just don't know what to do with myself. I have even had to take pain killers.

It just will not come to a head so i can do something about It.

I am bathing It In salted water as hot as I can bear but does anyone have any advice?


They are bloody agony, if it just won't come to a head then maybe you need to go to the surgery or Casualty and get them to lance it for you. Sounds evil but the relief will be wonderful afterwards.

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:43 am
by spot
Our advice might be more useful if you were to post a photo of it in its full context, oscar.

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:55 am
by YZGI
Is it on the end of your nose?

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 10:00 am
by spot
Do you own a craft knife and methylated spirit? Have you bandages and antiseptic preparations?

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 10:08 am
by Oscar Namechange
spot;1370170 wrote: Do you own a craft knife and methylated spirit? Have you bandages and antiseptic preparations?


Yes, I have all of those In the house Spot. I even have a spray which contains anesthetic and although this spray Is for use on Injured wildlife, I am quite willing to use It... drink It even, If It helps.

My worry Is that I can hear my mothers voice In my head telling me to leave It well alone. My eldest brother suffered terribly with boils as a teenager mainly on his neck and my Mother Insisted that It was because he fiddled with them, that they spread.

She would concoct some horrible witches, boiling hot poultice out of mustard and squirrel's tears or something but I can't remember exactly what. However, I do remember her saying something about them having to come to a head before lancing.

I have had this boil for three weeks now.

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 10:14 am
by spot
I was told by my mother as a child that if I didn't wash adequately I'd get boils. I continue to employ both soap and flannel, boils continue to remain gratifyingly absent from my person.

The photo, that's the next step. You could enhance the drama by turning up the colour setting.

Oh - eta: avoid tight clothing, she said that too.

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 10:23 am
by Oscar Namechange
spot;1370182 wrote: I was told by my mother as a child that if I didn't wash adequately I'd get boils. I continue to employ both soap and flannel, boils continue to remain gratifyingly absent from my person.

The photo, that's the next step. You could enhance the drama by turning up the colour setting.

Oh - eta: avoid tight clothing, she said that too. There Is no way you are getting a pic of my chuff chuff woo woo area. :wah:

The boil Is In the Inside of my leg at the groin area. Wearing under crackers only enhances the pain and even sitting down, It presses against my groin area.

Having been accussed by my husband In the past that the water shortage Is caused by the amount of showers and baths I have, It Is not a case of uncleanliness.

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 10:28 am
by spot
I hesitate to ask but have you tried sitting at the computer with your legs wide apart?

That's not a sentence I'd ever have thought I might write.

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 10:38 am
by Bruv
oscar;1370188 wrote: There Is no way you are getting a pic of my chuff chuff woo woo area. :wah:




Heaven forbid................I just flushed bright red.........don't know if it was embarrassment or excitement.

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 10:39 am
by spot
In the absence of a photo I reckon the best way forward is for me to bring my own tools over and remove the boil on your behalf. When would be convenient? It should take no more than a couple of hours once I'm scrubbed up and fortified.

Disclaimer: I am not now and never have been a member of the Barbers, Haberdashers and Surgeons Union or whatever professional body supervises the behaviour of those who operate for money, I'm merely an enthusiast.

Do you keep a gentleman's horse saddle at home?

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:10 am
by Oscar Namechange
spot;1370203 wrote: In the absence of a photo I reckon the best way forward is for me to bring my own tools over and remove the boil on your behalf. When would be convenient? It should take no more than a couple of hours once I'm scrubbed up and fortified.

Disclaimer: I am not now and never have been a member of the Barbers, Haberdashers and Surgeons Union or whatever professional body supervises the behaviour of those who operate for money, I'm merely an enthusiast.

Do you keep a gentleman's horse saddle at home?
I am fresh out of Gentlemen's horse saddles but do have an old stirrup that I once wrenched from a passing huntsman's tackle as he fleeted past yelling Tallyho.

I have a small padded cushion that Is wedged between by chuff chuff woo woo and leg to aid me to sit down and use the laptop. I refuse to sit with my legs open as my Mother told me this practice could lead to unnecessary attention or worse frighten dog walkers passing my lounge window.

I have decided to wait until morn, then ask my GP for some anti-biotics. If that fails, I shall thrust my chuff chuff woo woo are In the face of some poor undeserving Intern at Frenchay.

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:13 am
by spot
oscar;1370215 wrote: If that fails, I shall thrust my chuff chuff woo woo are In the face of some poor undeserving Intern at Frenchay.I always said they deserve every penny of their scant earnings.

The stirrup would, thinking about it, be adequate so long as I bring enough rope.

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:28 am
by CARLA
Three weeks is a long time it should have come to a head by now. Get it lanced by a professional it could also be an ingrown hair they can be just as painful and look like a boil. Depending on the size you might even require a few stitches. :)

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:32 am
by Oscar Namechange
CARLA;1370223 wrote: Three weeks is a long time it should have come to a head by now. Get it lanced by a professional it could also be an ingrown hair they can be just as painful and look like a boil. Depending on the size you might even require a few stitches. :) Thanks Carla.

I did wonder about an Ingrown hair... I think I will go straight to A and E In the morning.

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:32 am
by Bruv
CARLA;1370223 wrote:

Depending on the size you might even require a few stitches. :)
Chuff chuff ouch ?

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:44 am
by Oscar Namechange
Bruv;1370225 wrote: Chuff chuff ouch ? It's not on my chuff chuff woo woo or ladies front bottom, but Inside the leg and chuff chuff woo woo.

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:48 am
by Betty Boop
oscar;1370227 wrote: It's not on my chuff chuff woo woo or ladies front bottom, but Inside the leg and chuff chuff woo woo.


It's a common place to have them, you do need to see someone first thing tomorrow morning, I bet you're feeling quite rough all over as a result of it.

Sadly, my Dad died because of a boil, he ended up with septicaemia, granted there were other complications at the time but that's what ultimately caused his death.

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:58 am
by Oscar Namechange
Betty Boop;1370230 wrote: It's a common place to have them, you do need to see someone first thing tomorrow morning, I bet you're feeling quite rough all over as a result of it.

Sadly, my Dad died because of a boil, he ended up with septicaemia, granted there were other complications at the time but that's what ultimately caused his death.


Funny you should say that because the bigger It's got over the past week, the worse I have felt. I just feel really tired and run down all the time.

Sorry about your Dad. I remember you saying he had died from complications of a boil.

My niece had one In the same area as me a few years ago and It was an Ingrowing hair. She ended up In hospital having It all cut out and ended up with three stitches.

Apparently shaving your chuff chuff woo woo can cause this and why waxing Is better,

Mine just hurts like hell all the time.

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 12:03 pm
by fuzzywuzzy
ummm Oscar? chuffchuff woo woo? The intern isn't gunna see a train derailed there is he?

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 12:13 pm
by Oscar Namechange
fuzzywuzzy;1370234 wrote: ummm Oscar? chuffchuff woo woo? The intern isn't gunna see a train derailed there is he? As long as there's no queue for passengers to board, I won't mind :wah:

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 12:48 pm
by Lon
oscar;1370149 wrote: I have never had one In my life before so this Is all very new to me.

I have a boil.

It Is agony and I just don't know what to do with myself. I have even had to take pain killers.

It just will not come to a head so i can do something about It.

I am bathing It In salted water as hot as I can bear but does anyone have any advice?


Make a poultice from either kangaroo or koala droppings mixed with vanilla extract. Apply to the boil with hot compresses for two days and then lance boil with sterile knife.

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:51 pm
by Betty Boop
oscar;1370232 wrote: Funny you should say that because the bigger It's got over the past week, the worse I have felt. I just feel really tired and run down all the time.

Sorry about your Dad. I remember you saying he had died from complications of a boil.

My niece had one In the same area as me a few years ago and It was an Ingrowing hair. She ended up In hospital having It all cut out and ended up with three stitches.

Apparently shaving your chuff chuff woo woo can cause this and why waxing Is better,

Mine just hurts like hell all the time.


That's all the poison rushing around your system, you really need to get it sorted. Last one I had I would go and spend an hour to two hours in the bath in a desperate attempt to soften the skin plus it was the most comfortable place to be lol. Nothing to do with shaving either, just having to wear underwear 24/7 after having Jowan caused it.

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:53 pm
by Betty Boop
Lon;1370242 wrote: Make a poultice from either kangaroo or koala droppings mixed with vanilla extract. Apply to the boil with hot compresses for two days and then lance boil with sterile knife.


I guess Oscar could try the zoo for the ingredients, wonder if gorilla poo would work too, bet she could source plenty of that :wah:

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 2:29 pm
by Snooz
I have problems with cysts that can go for months and then suddenly become inflamed and act a lot like a boil. They have to be surgically removed. The last one taken out was a lovely little white pearl... really strange.

This Is rather Embarrassing..

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 3:50 pm
by Oscar Namechange
Betty Boop;1370254 wrote: I guess Oscar could try the zoo for the ingredients, wonder if gorilla poo would work too, bet she could source plenty of that :wah: I am sure there Is plenty of Jock shyte Is I asked them nicely.

Lon.... Does It work with Fox poo ? Only I have an abundance of that.

Oh well.... Just filling the bath again. Sitting In hot water Is the only relief right now.