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“There was the time Tallulah Bankhead went to Midnight Mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral one Christmas Eve. She was already lit up more than the Christmas trees, so when the bishop proceeded down the aisle in his finest vestments swinging a censer full of burning incense, through very bleary eyes, Tallulah took one look at him and shouted ‘Dahling, your dress is divine, but your purse is on fire!’”