ForumGarden

Social Forums the internet over are usually places where people from all walks of life & from all over the world get together, mostly to communicate with other people.

On large sites such as Face Book, Twitter & others, members often seek out like minded individuals, form or join interest groups & adhere to the “birds of a feather” theory.

At the opposite end of the scale, you have Forums where only a very small percentage of members are active at any given time & where it is much more unlikely that you will find many members with similar interests to yourself.

I have noticed that at Forums where membership has declined dramatically, the Admin panic, which of course is understandable and this is when they make their first & often their last mistake before “closing their doors.”

They come to the erroneous conclusion that their Forum has been “over-moderated” and that this has caused the drop in their membership & membership participation. So they back off in terms of moderation and give their remaining members much more freedom to “express themselves” with much less “censorship.” Some members then see this as an opportunity to begin trolling or to ridicule, humiliate or to just be plain nasty to other members.

In fact exactly the opposite should have been done when member participation fell off. Moderation should have become tighter and more visible, especially with regard to the following:

a) Keeping members on topic.

b) Deleting hurtful, insensitive, humiliating threads & replies, especially those with homophobic or prejudiced undertones

c) Stop “free for alls” & the discussion of other members in the Forums as if they were not present & online at the time.

This type of moderation is vital in order to show your guests, whom you later hope will become members, that you run a tight ship & that your more sensitive, shy & introverted people will always be protected.

As a writer I have nothing but contempt for any kind of censorship, but in open Forums where a diverse & varied group of people from different cultures come together, some kind of moderation other than that against anything of a sexual nature and of obscenities is required. Only a fool would post a thread with a pornographic image in it and obscenities are filtered out anyway.

In my opinion without this kind of visible moderation no small Social Forum will survive. “Self-moderation” is hopeless, simply because most people are followers as opposed to leaders. As a result they do not want the responsibility that goes with it.

Very well put and I agree.

The problem with moderators Is that at the end of the day, they are also posters and human beings.

As human beings they are just as capable of harbouring grudges and taking dislike to any of the members which can affect their judgement and sway favour.

Then, you will have the members who will tread on eggshells when disagreeing with a post made by a moderator for fear of them taking umbrage.

Then, you have moderators who believe that everyone should cow tow to them because they are a moderator.

You may each, of course, choose to post elsewhere and leave your FG accounts untouched in future. I'd commend any such effort on your parts.

spot;1383037 wrote: You may each, of course, choose to post elsewhere and leave your FG accounts untouched in future. I'd commend any such effort on your parts.


Now that's the way to grow your Forum.

spot;1383037 wrote: You may each, of course, choose to post elsewhere and leave your FG accounts untouched in future. I'd commend any such effort on your parts.


Sorry Spot but I fail to see why you have reacted In this way. A thread was posted and I made a post with some observations of my own.

I was not In particular referring to FG, just some forums I have frequented In the past. I did not say that my post was aimed at FG nor did I name anyone or have anyone from FG In mind when I wrote my post.

My post was made of forums In general Including those such forums as my husbands angling forum and my horse racing forum.

I feel you have jumped to conclusions here.

jones jones;1383038 wrote: Now that's the way to grow your Forum.


Oddly enough, that's the way I see it. You and oscar are debilitating blights. While you may not agree, your voluntary departure would be a cause for celebration. Perhaps other areas of the Internet would welcome you as assets.

spot;1383049 wrote: Oddly enough, that's the way I see it. You and oscar are debilitating blights. While you may not agree, your voluntary departure would be a cause for celebration. Perhaps other areas of the Internet would welcome you as assets.


I have reported this post. You are deiberatey baiting and flaming.

spot;1383049 wrote: Oddly enough, that's the way I see it. You and oscar are debilitating blights. While you may not agree, your voluntary departure would be a cause for celebration. Perhaps other areas of the Internet would welcome you as assets.


I must get this straight now as I do not wish to misquote anyone.

You Spot are asking me to leave Forum Garden?

jones jones;1383052 wrote: I must get this straight now as I do not wish to misquote anyone.

You Spot are asking me to leave Forum Garden?


I'd be delighted to see you leave permanently and to stop the prima-donna will-he won't-he act. If you read the thread, I've made no such request - do please quote any words I wrote which ask you to leave.

As for "deiberatey baiting and flaming", I regard the thread itself as a trailed coat.

Why must a "General" aimed thread end up in a squabble?

spot;1383054 wrote: I'd be delighted to see you leave permanently and to stop the prima-donna will-he won't-he act. If you read the thread, I've made no such request - do please quote any words I wrote which ask you to leave.

As for "deiberatey baiting and flaming", I regard the thread itself as a trailed coat.


So then you Spot do NOT want me to leave Forum Garden ... right?

Chloe_88;1383055 wrote: Why must a "General" aimed thread end up in a squabble?


I have no idea.

This is a recurring thread that achieves nothing for either side

jones jones;1383056 wrote: So then you Spot do NOT want me to leave Forum Garden ... right?


I'd be delighted to see you leave permanently and to stop the prima-donna will-he won't-he act. If you read the thread, I've made no such request - do please quote any words I wrote which ask you to leave.

As for "deiberatey baiting and flaming", I regard the thread itself as a trailed coat. Why must a "General" aimed thread end up in a squabble, Chloe? It's not a general thread, it's a trailed coat. It's targeted by a pair of boors.

spot;1383054 wrote: I'd be delighted to see you leave permanently and to stop the prima-donna will-he won't-he act. If you read the thread, I've made no such request - do please quote any words I wrote which ask you to leave.

As for "deiberatey baiting and flaming", I regard the thread itself as a trailed coat. If this thread had progressed, I may have got around to stating that I believe FG has been all the better since Bryn took the reins and It's heartening to see old and new members coming back such as BLT and Scrat who's posts you may have missed.

Instead, you came In on the attack. Thus you proceeded to do exactly what you erroneously believed the thread to be.

Bryn Mawr;1383057 wrote: I have no idea.

This is a recurring thread that achieves nothing for either side


Do you think there is a slim chance that this had something to do with it?

You may each, of course, choose to post elsewhere and leave your FG accounts untouched in future. I'd commend any such effort on your parts

jones jones;1383061 wrote: Do you think there is a slim chance that this had something to do with it?

You may each, of course, choose to post elsewhere and leave your FG accounts untouched in future. I'd commend any such effort on your parts


Might I point out that if that type of moderation you are advocating was in place here then the three of you would have been infracted and, quite possibly, be on a time out already.

I'm just tired of threads getting **** on..

Attached files

Chloe_88;1383063 wrote: I'm just tired of threads getting **** on..
I suggest you're unaware of the history which gave rise to the thread. This thread, from that poster, deserves what it got.

Bryn Mawr;1383062 wrote: Might I point out that if that type of moderation you are advocating was in place here then the three of you would have been infracted and, quite possibly, be on a time out already.


That is quite possible but we'll never know now. I can fully understand your obligation to defend Spot and your loyalty is admirable ... after all he is a moderator whilst I am nothing and in Spot's words "a blight".

jones jones;1383066 wrote: I can fully understand your obligation to defend Spot and your loyalty is admirable ...
I think you missed the obvious fact that I'm one of the three he made reference to.

I've been infracted by Bryn more times than you have.

Why don't you do us all a favor then and go somewhere else ... preferably to another galaxy. Not that I'm asking you to leave of course!

spot;1383065 wrote: I suggest you're unaware of the history which gave rise to the thread. This thread, from that poster, deserves what it got.


I know certain FG members disagree on a lot of things and this causes threads to end up like this one. But this is not the only thread that has ended up like this. It's none of my business what the history is of certain members or certain threads. To be honest I don't give a **** either. But it gives a bad impression to potential new FG members when threads end up like this. This is why I left the first time. I am here to 'relax' in the garden not to get even more stressed. I hate it when threads of other members and even my own threads end up in a fight.

I suggest that everybody will just grow and stop blaming each other over silly things.

I have an overwhelming urge to write "twat" and then giggle helplessly... but I'll try to control myself.

Chloe_88;1383071 wrote: I know certain FG members disagree on a lot of things and this causes threads to end up like this one.I disagree with you. I think the pair of them are deliberately causing as much disruption and stress on this site as they can manage and I think the site would be a far more entertaining social venue of they had no account here. That's where a knowledge of the site's history is invaluable in assessing what's going on.

SnoozeAgain;1383072 wrote: I have an overwhelming urge to write "twat" and then giggle helplessly... but I'll try to control myself.


Whatever became of your hyena?

spot;1383073 wrote: I disagree with you. I think the pair of them are deliberately causing as much disruption and stress on this site as they can manage and I think the site would be a far more entertaining social venue of they had no account here. That's where a knowledge of the site's history is invaluable in assessing what's going on.


I don't know what you are disagreeing with, i did not mention any names. And the pair of them? who are the pair of them, name names.

Chloe_88;1383075 wrote: I don't know what you are disagreeing with, i did not mention any names. And the pair of them? who are the pair of them, name names.


I disagree with your reason for this thread becoming argumentative: "I know certain FG members disagree on a lot of things and this causes threads to end up like this one". I think you're wrong.

By "the pair of them" I refer to the two originating coat-trailing posters.

spot;1383077 wrote: I disagree with your reason for this thread becoming argumentative: "I know certain FG members disagree on a lot of things and this causes threads to end up like this one". I think you're wrong.


And why is that? (Just for the record this is not ment in a sarcastic way or anything but seriously interested in your view)

My point of view: a topic is started (any topic not just this one), it starts out with 1 or 2 good replies and then someone comes in and has a go at the other.. And then the thread gets trashed. Thats how i see it.

So i ask again: what is wrong with my point of view? (again, in general not just sticking to this thread).

Could somebody explain to me what "coat trailing" means?

jones jones;1383079 wrote: Could somebody explain to me what "coat trailing" means?
Try the footnote on Seven Types of Ambiguity — A Study of Its Effect in English Verse by William Empson, An On Writing ARJ2 Review by Bobby Matherne - "Footnote 1. To trail one's coat means to invite attack".

spot;1383080 wrote: Try the footnote on Seven Types of Ambiguity — A Study of Its Effect in English Verse by William Empson, An On Writing ARJ2 Review by Bobby Matherne - "Footnote 1. To trail one's coat means to invite attack".


You mean like trolling?

Chloe_88;1383078 wrote: So i ask again: what is wrong with my point of view? (again, in general not just sticking to this thread).Nothing, in general. This thread isn't like those you describe though. This thread in particular, as opposed to threads in general, is a thread designed to cause offence and deliberately entices disagreement on the part of the site's Administrator.

jones jones;1383079 wrote: Could somebody explain to me what "coat trailing" means? Let me write It plainly and Spot may be abe to understand....

I have spent the day working from home on my laptop... It's my day for Parish Council business. I also have FG and The horse racing site running on seperate pages. I flit from one to another to break the boredom of parish council affairs.

At some point this afternoon, You, JJ and myself were the only two members who posted a new thread all afternoon.... Thus, the choice of threads In which to contribute was limited both for yourself and myself.... however...

Because you and I happened to be on line at the same times this afternoon and I posted In your thread ( the ony new thread available at the time ), Spot believes It was a dasterdly plot.

jones jones;1383082 wrote: You mean like trolling?


No, it's far more precise. To trail one's coat means to invite attack, no more and no less.

spot;1383085 wrote: No, it's far more precise. To trail one's coat means to invite attack, no more and no less.


Would you believe me if I told you that when I wrote that thread "coat tailing" was the furthest thing from my mind?

In fact I seriously believed that I was making a positive contribution.

I am leaving now to consult with my legal team as the the advisability or otherwise of leaving Forum Garden as per Spot's opening post in this thread.

I will make my decision known tomorrow.

I am the weakest link ... Goodbye!

:yh_rotfl

Wow. This thread hurts my head. I'm sorry, truly sorry, that anyone lets an internet forum cut so deep. We shouldn't offend each other, but also we should not be offended as easily as we are. I am new, so please forgive me for butting in before I know people better. Sometimes, as any good lawyer knows, it is better not to ask a question when the answer may surprise you, hurt you. Sometimes it is best just to go on, without interest in what another thinks (of you). It is a lesson learned the hard way, as many lessons are.

FG has had a problem with getting and keeping people from minority groups since I first found it. It had nothing to do with the moderation and everything to do with the predominant opinions of the largest group on the forum. What you'd be suggesting is that we make sure to beat apart any groups who start to have the loudest voice and use it for bullying. I thought I was doing that quite effectively. If only we had more people who would wade into a thread with muck boots on and introduce alternative ways of looking at things. Ready to face the wrath of those who wish to rule by post count.

I get occasional PMs from members who lurk but don't post. Usually it's to encourage me to keep standing up to the site bullies. I detest heavy moderation because when you erase things from a forum you erase all the evidence that tells you what kind of person you're dealing with.

The reason these threads are useless are because there is a wide variety of people on the forum who all want a wide variety of types of forums. The most common view is that there should be no fighting yet the only way to achieve that effect without censorship is to have a group of people who all believe the same thing and never have to question their beliefs. That's not a utopia, that's a mud bath in which all the swine from Animal Farm can wallow while they add to the "Some animals are more equal than others" list.

I don't think arguing over the issues brings pain to people. It is when the individual takes things personally, or when personal insults are directed at someone. It's about hurt feelings.

I'd much rather know who I'm talking to. Usually the bullies are quite obvious if you leave their insults visible instead of deleting. I'm certainly responsible enough to own up to whatever I've said in the past. I'm not always right but I always believe that what I'm saying is true.

To be honest, though, the most disruptive people are often the ones who write sweet as pie so no one will believe what they are doing in the PM circuits.

koan;1383097 wrote:

To be honest, though, the most disruptive people are often the ones who write sweet as pie so no one will believe what they are doing in the PM circuits. I just PM'd you.

By PM circuits, koan, you mean private messaging, right? Like we said as kids: "talking behind someone's back"? But isn't that childish? Why should I care who talks of me behind my back? I barely care anymore what people say to my face.

Not really.....



I have been very choosy for some time now who's PM's I open and reply to.





































































So If I've replied to yours.... feel humbled.

AnneBoleyn;1383099 wrote: By PM circuits, koan, you mean private messaging, right? Like we said as kids: "talking behind someone's back"? But isn't that childish? Why should I care who talks of me behind my back? I barely care anymore what people say to my face.
I like You...

You seem a groovy NY Biker chick to me.

AnneBoleyn;1383099 wrote: By PM circuits, koan, you mean private messaging, right? Like we said as kids: "talking behind someone's back"? But isn't that childish? Why should I care who talks of me behind my back? I barely care anymore what people say to my face.


I started to care when a former member told me he was being blackmailed by another member who had coaxed him into admitting he was homosexual.

You seem a groovy NY Biker chick to me.
Well, oscar, you have the groovy part right!! I like you too. I'm prepared to like everyone. I'm the Blanche DuBois type. Kindness of strangers.

AnneBoleyn;1383108 wrote: Well, oscar, you have the groovy part right!! I like you too. I'm prepared to like everyone. I'm the Blanche DuBois type. Kindness of strangers.


Ahhhh The Southern Belle !!!

I'd quite happilly share my lightly buttered Cranberry tea cake with you.

Yes. I live in SOUTH Brooklyn NY. Did someone mention cake?

koan;1383106 wrote: I started to care when a former member told me he was being blackmailed by another member who had coaxed him into admitting he was homosexual.
An outing hey? (I can say hey after each sentence because my husband was Canadian too. Or did he say EY?) We all must use common sense when dealing with people we don't really know. We all must use common sense telling people things we don't want others to know.

AnneBoleyn;1383110 wrote: Yes. I live in SOUTH Brooklyn NY. Did someone mention cake?


On 29th September 2011 at approx 2 pm, I was In Martine's chocolate shop on 3rd Avenue with my brother. Were you the woman handing out the free samples to customers that day ? Only I was sure I recognised her from somewhere.