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My eldest brother Is 65 years old....

My other brother Is 56 years old and him and I have done everything together growing up and working together over the years...

My other brother rang me today so excited because...... get this........ he has arranged to go for a drink with our eldest brother and It will be the first time he has ever been alone with him having a drink....

He was a teenager when my eldest brother got married and from that day, his wife would ' not allow ' her husband out without her.....

We've seen plenty of him over the years but If SHE couldn't make an arrangement, then he wasn't allowed to go alone....

In this day and age as well........

oscar;1393777 wrote: My eldest brother Is 65 years old....

My other brother Is 56 years old and him and I have done everything together growing up and working together over the years...

My other brother rang me today so excited because...... get this........ he has arranged to go for a drink with our eldest brother and It will be the first time he has ever been alone with him having a drink....

He was a teenager when my eldest brother got married and from that day, his wife would ' not allow ' her husband out without her.....

We've seen plenty of him over the years but If SHE couldn't make an arrangement, then he wasn't allowed to go alone....

In this day and age as well........


One wonders what the payback was that he wasn't prepared to push the issue - to be under that sort of control is not good.

Be sure and check the obits tomorrow.

Funny you should post that, oscar. My brother is 70 tomorrow...I'm pants with technology etc but I thought I would try and take some photos of him/us from some old black and white snaps in my mother's album of us growing up, upload them to my computer and see if I could manage to use one of those card companies to send him a personalised card.

I was so pleased with my efforts...the largest photo was of my brother as a little boy and the two smaller ones were of him and me, one with an old Austin Ruby in the background and one with us stood by the river in the city where we grew up.

I just phoned my sister in law and she said that my brother had insisted on opening my card because it was typewritten and he didn't think it was a birthday card. She sounded quite impressed but then said, "Well, you had to get in the act too, didn't you?"

I felt so deflated when I put the 'phone down!!

Bryn Mawr;1393778 wrote: One wonders what the payback was that he wasn't prepared to push the issue - to be under that sort of control is not good.


We are In no doubt Bryn that keeping the peace was more preferable to him over the years.

The one time that will always stick In mind was my my Father died and my Mother wanted herself and her children to see him In the Chapel of rest and say our goodbye's. It was a very emotional time as my parents were married for 56 years..... All of our partners accepted that It was something my Mother wanted to do alone with her children. The only one who Insisted she joined us was her.

theia;1393780 wrote: Funny you should post that, oscar. My brother is 70 tomorrow...I'm pants with technology etc but I thought I would try and take some photos of him/us from some old black and white snaps in my mother's album of us growing up, upload them to my computer and see if I could manage to use one of those card companies to send him a personalised card.

I was so pleased with my efforts...the largest photo was of my brother as a little boy and the two smaller ones were of him and me, one with an old Austin Ruby in the background and one with us stood by the river in the city where we grew up.

I just phoned my sister in law and she said that my brother had insisted on opening my card because it was typewritten and he didn't think it was a birthday card. She sounded quite impressed but then said, "Well, you had to get in the act too, didn't you?"

I felt so deflated when I put the 'phone down!! It's a wonder why some wives are like this with sisters Isn't It ?

In my brothers house there Is photographs of her family everywhere but none of him with his brother and sisters despite like you, I had some old black and whites enlarged and framed for him.

oscar;1393783 wrote: It's a wonder why some wives are like this with sisters Isn't It ?

In my brothers house there Is photographs of her family everywhere but none of him with his brother and sisters despite like you, I had some old black and whites enlarged and framed for him.


Yes, oscar, it's weird. This really got to me because I was quite proud of my efforts and I certainly wasn't trying to promote myself in any way.

theia;1393785 wrote: Yes, oscar, it's weird. This really got to me because I was quite proud of my efforts and I certainly wasn't trying to promote myself in any way.


It's quite hurtful Isn't It ?

I found a small black and white pic taken when I was about 3 years old... It was myself and my brothers In one of those swing boats at a funfair. I had It enlarged and framed and was thrilled with It. My other brother has his copy on his lounge wall.

When I gave my eldest brothers his, he seemed rally chuffed with It but right away his wife said... 'Oh trust you to be In the middle'...... followed by... ' That's far too big to hang anywhere'.....

I've never seen It since.

oscar;1393787 wrote: It's quite hurtful Isn't It ?

I found a small black and white pic taken when I was about 3 years old... It was myself and my brothers In one of those swing boats at a funfair. I had It enlarged and framed and was thrilled with It. My other brother has his copy on his lounge wall.

When I gave my eldest brothers his, he seemed rally chuffed with It but right away his wife said... 'Oh trust you to be In the middle'...... followed by... ' That's far too big to hang anywhere'.....

I've never seen It since.


It's really hurtful, yes, but I'm feeling a bit better now reading what your sister in law said.

I mean, when you grow up in a family, it's more than likely that you will be in the same photos...isn't it??

I have two brothers. Only one of them is married. Hubby and I went up to visit my mother who was in the hospital at that time and stayed overnight with them. (This is 600 miles from our home.) His wife had lovely towels set up in their only bathroom, but no other towels were out, so we had to use the lovely towels to dry ourselves. Well, evidently she was a little miffed that these lovely towels were used by us.....they were just on display as decorations. lol We were embarrassed and apologized to her. Hubby and I had a laugh over that one (after we left) and have never stayed with them since. My married brother is only one year younger than I am and I do enjoy his company the few times we have gotten together as adults. He was married before, had a daughter with his first wife, then they were divorced. He and this second wife have not had any children together. but she does have a son from her first marriage. We get a Christmas card every year from both of them and that's about it. My brother has a Facebook page he seldom uses. I've tried to reach out to him, but he does not respond.Well, she does seem rather controlling, but my brother is still with her and has been for many years, so I guess he doesn't mind. But I do miss him.

along-for-the-ride;1393790 wrote: I have two brothers. Only one of them is married. Hubby and I went up to visit my mother who was in the hospital at that time and stayed overnight with them. (This is 600 miles from our home.) His wife had lovely towels set up in their only bathroom, but no other towels were out, so we had to use the lovely towels to dry ourselves. Well, evidently she was a little miffed that these lovely towels were used by us.....they were just on display as decorations. lol We were embarrassed and apologized to her. Hubby and I had a laugh over that one (after we left) and have never stayed with them since. My married brother is only one year younger than I am and I do enjoy his company the few times we have gotten together as adults. He was married before, had a daughter with his first wife, then they were divorced. He and this second wife have not had any children together. but she does have a son from her first marriage. We get a Christmas card every year from both of them and that's about it. My brother has a Facebook page he seldom uses. I've tried to reach out to him, but he does not respond.Well, she does seem rather controlling, but my brother is still with her and has been for many years, so I guess he doesn't mind. But I do miss him.


My brothers wife has not just been like this with me over the years but with all my family and visits or meetings always have been on her terms. Because of this, the subject has been cause for debate In our family for many years and we all seem to be agreed on the same theory.

Some women see themselves as the centre of their husbands universe and are threatened by their families for no reason. It's like they think If their husband loves his sister, then that's less love for her. They don't like the fact that he's had a life with other people ie his family before they came along and has some notion that now he has her and his own children, he doesn't need brothers and sisters any more.

My brothers wife, we believe, has to be everywhere he Is In order to control a situation because, god forbid, he may enjoy himself and want to see them more which may exclude her at times.

My brothers wife Is so over-bearing that even when my Father was dying and my brother went to see him In the hospice, my Father whispered to me... 'Keep that Infernal woman out of this room'... just so he could be alone with his son for once.

If you ask my brother a question, by the time he's got his mouth open, she's answered for him.

That kind of age difference in years that spanned the 50's and 60's is almost like a different generation there was so much change. I had an elder brother with a similar age gap but I think brothers tend to be less close than do sisters or brother/sister. I think it's simply a male thing women seem to be the ones that keep people in contact. I only ever saw my brothers once or twice a year whereas my wife spends hours talking to her sisters. Mind you maybe it's just me - there was the time, when I was in my late teens, they moved house and didn't tell me.

I went over to see my brother this morning to give him his presents. I had a look at the card as it had been sent direct from the card company and I hadn't seen the finished product. My sister in law made the very same comment as above! But then when my brother walked out with me to my car, we hugged and he said, "Thanks, Jack, that card was fantastic." Praise indeed from him as he rarely uses that word!

gmc;1393814 wrote: That kind of age difference in years that spanned the 50's and 60's is almost like a different generation there was so much change. I had an elder brother with a similar age gap but I think brothers tend to be less close than do sisters or brother/sister. I think it's simply a male thing women seem to be the ones that keep people in contact. I only ever saw my brothers once or twice a year whereas my wife spends hours talking to her sisters. Mind you maybe it's just me - there was the time, when I was in my late teens, they moved house and didn't tell me.


But that's the thing... before he married, although he was so much older than me, we were very close.

Take a look at the my avatar.... that's my other brother and that was taken about a year ago.... now there Is no way my eldest brother's wife would allow a pic like that with me and HER husband.

There Is a family story that has been passed around for generations of the time I was 2 years old and I went missing... to cut a long story short, my eldest brother had a Norton motorbike with side car and he'd decided to take me off In It without thinking It through. When he got home where everyone was frantic, he said he just wanted to show me off to his friends and that's how It was...

My eldest brother and other brother are both sports mad and played cricket together while growing up all the time and he'd help me practice my tennis.....

It's very sad because we all miss him and miss how It could have been.

theia;1393817 wrote: I went over to see my brother this morning to give him his presents. I had a look at the card as it had been sent direct from the card company and I hadn't seen the finished product. My sister in law made the very same comment as above! But then when my brother walked out with me to my car, we hugged and he said, "Thanks, Jack, that card was fantastic." Praise indeed from him as he rarely uses that word! I'm really pleased for you that you got some praise from him.