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For years, Naval Commander Nick Crews bottled up frustration at his children until he snapped and sent excoriating email that tore the family apart



Is this the right way to go about it ?

I'd assumed it was a dad hammering his teenage kids, not a 67-year-old writing to his grown kids. Was it the right way? Of course not, but it's about 30 years too late to do it right.

What stands out to me is the desire to rush to the tabloid newspapers and have her fathers private e mail printed for all to see in what seems a desire to humiliate him as much as possible. It fits with the content of the e mail that instead of being a responsible adult and ceasing to use her mother to whine about her lot in life, having had the sympathy door slammed shut, she seeks out sympathy from tabloid readers.

I understand the father perfectly. He's worked all his life to give his children a good education and lifestyle and now by their own doing have made a hash of their lives. Instead of acting like adults and now returning some kind of duty in caring for their parents as they age, they continue to expect them to prop them up as though their parents are only there to serve them in times of need.

Peter Lake;1410704 wrote: What stands out to me is the desire to rush to the tabloid newspapers and have her fathers private e mail printed for all to see in what seems a desire to humiliate him as much as possible. It fits with the content of the e mail that instead of being a responsible adult and ceasing to use her mother to whine about her lot in life, having had the sympathy door slammed shut, she seeks out sympathy from tabloid readers.

I understand the father perfectly. He's worked all his life to give his children a good education and lifestyle and now by their own doing have made a hash of their lives. Instead of acting like adults and now returning some kind of duty in caring for their parents as they age, they continue to expect them to prop them up as though their parents are only there to serve them in times of need.
I don't have kids, but I've worked with lots of parents in the military. The routine for those that deploy a lot (and who deploys more than a ship's captain?) is for the mom to run the house. When Dad returns, he shouldn't voice his objections to how Mom has been doing things because she has done as she felt necessary. Second-guessing is bad form.

So I understand the kids being raised differently from how Dad felt they should have been, and his disappointment in how they turned out. But to wait for the kids to be adults 20 years before telling them what he expects/expected is too long. He should have been talking to Mom privately long ago (and maybe he did), and talking to the kids as soon as they moved out of the house.

For all we know he may well have done his best to address the issue's when they were younger and they just didn't listen. He's watching his wife being used and emotionally worn down by his children when they are at an age where they should be giving her peace in her old age..

Peter Lake;1410712 wrote: For all we know he may well have done his best to address the issue's when they were younger and they just didn't listen. He's watching his wife being used and emotionally worn down by his children when they are at an age where they should be giving her peace in her old age..
True. I would imagine that a submarine captain wouldn't be very talkative or preachy.

I didn't address this:Peter Lake;1410704 wrote: What stands out to me is the desire to rush to the tabloid newspapers and have her fathers private e mail printed for all to see in what seems a desire to humiliate him as much as possible. It fits with the content of the e mail that instead of being a responsible adult and ceasing to use her mother to whine about her lot in life, having had the sympathy door slammed shut, she seeks out sympathy from tabloid readers.
I agree. It fits the stereotype she seems intent on projecting of the poor little rich girl being misunderstood.

Another last thought before the laptop is wrenched from my grasp as Oscar's home. Maybe he sent the e mail because they shouted him down or talked over him when he tried talking to them for there's no interjection with e mail and it could have been his last resort to being heard.

Peter Lake;1410722 wrote: Another last thought before the laptop is wrenched from my grasp as Oscar's home. Maybe he sent the e mail because they shouted him down or talked over him when he tried talking to them for there's no interjection with e mail and it could have been his last resort to being heard.
What?? A man's opinion being ignored in a room full of women?? Surely you jest, sir! :wah:

Accountable;1410727 wrote: What?? A man's opinion being ignored in a room full of women?? Surely you jest, sir! :wah: Sorry, did you say something?

Someone that blames everything an copulation is probably someone who rarely if ever copulates. Kind of like the right wingers.