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This guy has just ordered a fresh beer when he decides he has to go to the cloakroom. He props a note up against his glass which reads: "I spat in this beer!"

When he gets back, someone has written below his note: "So did I!"

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

I don't drink anymore. Of course, I don't drink any less, either.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. - Frank Sinatra