Flo of Savannah Georgia.

[jones jones]

Got a call from Blu Raine my buddy who lives in Savannah Georgia to say his gran died last weekend. She was one hundred and one. Florence or Flo as she insisted we call her, claimed she was born almost to the minute that the Titanic hit that iceberg. Said her birth caused such a vibration across the planet and that was the reason.

Flo was some character. Man was she talented! Everything she turned her hand to was a success. Flo was an awesome cook and could she bake cakes, cookies and pastries! She was a highly skilled dressmaker as well and don’t even ask about her interior decorating. Folk called her from far and wide to enlist her help.

But I think baking was her first love and Blu and I used to love watching her at work in her kitchen. She was a chain smoker and all the time she was mixing, whisking, rolling whatever, she had a cigarette between her lips. Often the ash on the end was so long we held our breath waiting for it to drop into the mixing bowl. It never did in all the time I watched

Flo was incredibly lucky when it came to entering competitions. Whether it was in magazines, newspapers, radio or television when she entered she usually won something. I think must have spent a fortune in postage entering competitions.

Just as she was lucky at competitions she was soooooooo unlucky in love.

Like husband #1 … He was a Wall of Death rider at a Fairground. Spent years thrilling folk as he raced at full speed around a circular ramp like thing. Then one day as they were off loading their stuff from a freight train, he walked past a truck just as they dropped the side and he fell onto his head killing him instantly.

Husband #2 … He was a postman and man could he sing! He had like this slicked back Brylcreamed hair and he was really, really good looking. Used to sing like Nelson Eddy and Slim Whitman. Anyway he cheated on her and she divorced him. But then they became great buddies and they used to flirt outrageously at parties.

Husband #3 … He was like a wastrel who lived off her love and goodwill. Last I heard of him he was a cinema manager so you can guess how long ago that was. As I recall he was a drinker. So Flo divorced him too.

Husband #4 … He was an undertaker. Also a drinker and he used to go out and pick up a corpse then on the way back to the undertakers he’d often stop at a pub for a drink and just leave the stiff in the hearse outside,

One day he decided to give one of his staff a scare so he sent for this one guy and said he should move a coffin. Meantime he had got into it. As the guy was moving the coffin he pushed off the lid and sat up. Apparently the man just ran like hell and never even came back for his pay.

Yeah those were the days I guess.