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Hi there, I just joined these forums today, they seem like a good place to get positive advice.

I am an Irish guy who makes most of his friends through the internet. I met this Dutch girl in an online game, she is very intelligent and friendly. We talk most days through text, usually about meaningful things like religion, languages, culture and science- normally things she is in to because they are things we can both relate to (I am not faking interest, they are things I'm interested in but I have not had a chance to study so I learn a lot from her).

I would like to meet her but the problem is she is quite a shy girl so if I suggested it now she would probably decline the opportunity. Because of this I need to build more trust with her before I make the next step of asking for more personal information like a phone number. I don't think of her in a sexual way, that is not why I want to meet her; she is a lovely person who lives in a beautiful country and I love the adventure of meeting up with someone from online.

Where she is at:

She knows I trust her, I asked her to post me her favourite book but it turned out the cost of postage for a thick book would cost more than buying it. So she knows I'd tell her my address.

She knows that I've been to Norway to meet a girl from the same game before so when I do ask her about meeting she should not have any doubt that I'm being serious and no doubts on my reasons for visiting her.

I've come here looking for advice on how to build trust with women. I am not looking for a quick fix, these things take time and she is not going anywhere. I hope you can help me out

Hmmm. I don't know if you should read Oscar's thread "What Is It about the British?" Just kidding.

How long have you & this 'girl' been communicating? You have heard of phishing scams & catfishing scams? I'm sure she has too. The internet may build intimacy (whether it is always real or not, it depends). Have you exchanged photos? Even they can be faked. I kind of think it's wise of her not to give her phone number. It's hard, IMO, to build trust this way, although I'm aware it works out often.

What happened with the Norwegian girl? Do you still see her or speak with her? Why or why not?

When you describe these women as 'girls' how old are they? A girl has to be more protective of herself, generally, than a male.

What if she's not a girl at all?

Chakari;1441504 wrote: Hi there, I just joined these forums today, they seem like a good place to get positive advice.


You asked for it.

Chakari;1441504 wrote: I am an Irish guy who makes most of his friends through the internet.


No pubs around? No the first place I would go. Been there done that.

Chakari;1441504 wrote: I met this Dutch girl in an online game, she is very intelligent and friendly. We talk most days through text, usually about meaningful things like religion, languages, culture and science- normally things she is in to because they are things we can both relate to (I am not faking interest, they are things I'm interested in but I have not had a chance to study so I learn a lot from her).

I would like to meet her but the problem is she is quite a shy girl so if I suggested it now she would probably decline the opportunity. Because of this I need to build more trust with her before I make the next step of asking for more personal information like a phone number. I don't think of her in a sexual way, that is not why I want to meet her; she is a lovely person who lives in a beautiful country and I love the adventure of meeting up with someone from online.

Where she is at:

She knows I trust her, I asked her to post me her favourite book but it turned out the cost of postage for a thick book would cost more than buying it. So she knows I'd tell her my address.

She knows that I've been to Norway to meet a girl from the same game before so when I do ask her about meeting she should not have any doubt that I'm being serious and no doubts on my reasons for visiting her.

I've come here looking for advice on how to build trust with women. I am not looking for a quick fix, these things take time and she is not going anywhere. I hope you can help me out

AnneBoleyn;1441506 wrote: Hmmm. I don't know if you should read Oscar's thread "What Is It about the British?" Just kidding.

How long have you & this 'girl' been communicating? You have heard of phishing scams & catfishing scams? I'm sure she has too. The internet may build intimacy (whether it is always real or not, it depends). Have you exchanged photos? Even they can be faked. I kind of think it's wise of her not to give her phone number. It's hard, IMO, to build trust this way, although I'm aware it works out often.

What happened with the Norwegian girl? Do you still see her or speak with her? Why or why not?

When you describe these women as 'girls' how old are they? A girl has to be more protective of herself, generally, than a male.

What if she's not a girl at all?
I do know she is a girl, a Skype chat resolves that. I have known her for 3 years and she is 20 years old.

Myself and the Norwegian girl are still great friends, which is how I'd like it to be.

I know people are skeptical about Internet friends but I know how to weed out the catfish.

Tude dog I am not looking for a girlfriend. you seem to think I've gotten myself into a friends zone and that's bad, well it's not.

I guess you'll just have to be patient with her.

do people still ask this stuff over the net ?

chakari...As an Irishman do you have anything else to add to the forum? Or did you come to the forum to ask this particular question ? and why ?

AnneBoleyn;1441557 wrote: I guess you'll just have to be patient with her.
All right thank you.

Fuzzy I came here just to ask this because there are no girls I know close enough to ask them this and guys I ask would often pester me about trying to be friends with a girl instead of trying to sleep with her. I wanted to ask on some forums where people ask for friendship advice because they might be more used to discussing quirky situations like this.

The reason i came here. Many forums only have a relationships forum not one for friendships, while it is true that a friendship is a type of relationship many people don't think of it that way when they hear the word and being able to post in a section for friendships would help avoid replies like the 2nd one I got. This particular forum was one of the top in a google search which was still had active posters.

How old are you ?

fuzzywuzzy;1441604 wrote: How old are you ?
I'm 21. Are you surprised?

Be natural. and the most important aspect is respect.

Always be kind, respect and understand them as much as we can.

Chakari;1441504 wrote: ..... I would like to meet her but the problem is she is quite a shy girl so if I suggested it now she would probably decline the opportunity.


Sounds to me that you're rushing too fast.



Chakari;1441504 wrote: I need to build more trust with her before I make the next step of asking for more personal information like a phone number.


Yes, you're definitely rushing too fast. Anyway, you just joined this forum today and yet you think we're going to solve your problems without knowing you at all ..... oh yeah, you're rushing too fast ...... and you're beginning to frighten me too.

Be honest, mean what you say and stay kind

Just be yourself and be nice to her, also be patient and do not rush thing. "haste is waste" take it slow

Respecting them, showing your loyalty to them, and show how much you love them

It's very easy. Don't cheat, love her and? of? corse? be honest.

Not to lie to her, do what you say - the best way

I confess, I too am currently losing my heart again. I want things to work so much, but she is hesitant, after having been through a bad relationship previously. I am simply telling her that I am here for her, and that it is up to her to take the lead, at her own pace, with whatever she feels comfortable.

That said, I must get to bed - I'm taking her out to lunch later today.

Chakari;1441504 wrote: How to earn a girl's trust?
Not possible. If you are both young then she is playing her games and you are playng yours. As you get older you may mature and quit playing games but females never stop. Things such as "trust" are simply grasp-ons for females to manipulate you over. Women are manipulators, plain and simple. "I don't know if I can trust you" is a ploy to get you jumping through hoops. This is why pubs were invented. It's a safe space for men.

FourPart;1496692 wrote: I confess, I too am currently losing my heart again. I want things to work so much, but she is hesitant, after having been through a bad relationship previously. I am simply telling her that I am here for her, and that it is up to her to take the lead, at her own pace, with whatever she feels comfortable.

That said, I must get to bed - I'm taking her out to lunch later today.




I think you're being played, mate.

Just make sure you tickle her fancy .

Raphael;1526710 wrote: Just make sure you tickle her fancy .
Dollars or Euros?

FourPart;1496692 wrote: I confess, I too am currently losing my heart again. I want things to work so much, but she is hesitant, after having been through a bad relationship previously. I am simply telling her that I am here for her, and that it is up to her to take the lead, at her own pace, with whatever she feels comfortable.

That said, I must get to bed - I'm taking her out to lunch later today.




... and how did lunch go? 3 years on and either she's a distant memory or you're sitting tight together with two children running about the house.