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With the vitamin B12 deficiency messing up my short term memory (for now anyway), I got to writing down a couple of things about my family, when I was little etc. Just memories.

It's just a lot of "bla bla" for other people, but whilst writing my "bla bla" I seem to remember a lot more from when I was little.

So I thought I'd share my random "bla bla" memories with you, or well.. a little part of it anyway... So here goes:

One thing I'm fearful of is my memory slipping about my best grandad. Grandad John. He smoked 'Van Nelle' roll ups, like a chimney. He would just appear out of nowhere on our doorstep in Holland, without telling us or his wife, and stay for months... He helped me learn how to ride a bike, he set up a little barbie tent for me, he took us swimming (not that he would ever touch water himself mind you), he picked us up from school on half day (wednesday was always a half day at school), family holiday to Étretat France (or 'eat your hat' as he called it..).

About the swimming, I remember my grandad picking me up from the playground to go swimming.. He spotted I had the chickenpox! He told me I had to go straight home and couldn't go swimming, I was ever so upset. I don't remember anything else about having the chickenpox though.

When I was a little older and I used to cook dinner, something like spaghetti or chili con carne, he would sneak up behind me and suddenly say: 'if you don't mind me asking, what is THAT supposed to be?!.

My grandad would never eat anything that wasn't 'british'. Always eggs and chips, sausage rolls and eggs, beans and eggs, bacon or chip butties.. but when we had soup, he would join us. He used to tear off bits of bread, chuck them in his soup and wait. Then he would slurp up the soggy bits of bread.. We used to call it: 'feeding the ducks'. I can't stand soggy bread even till this day.

My mum did that the other day and I yelled out: “You feeding the ducks?, and we just both laughed.

I'm surprised he never died of a heart attack.. he was bald and he used to wear a hat even in the house. My brother and I would stick our hands in the freezer, sneak up behind him and slap our freezing cold hands on the top of his head!

I say i'm fearful of forgetting what my Grandad was like, but I can't completely. My mother set up 3 books for each of us children, so that every adult family member could leave us children a message for when we became grown ups. By the way, I recommend you doing this for your children, that's if you have children.

Not everybody did write in our books, but of course my grandad was one of the fist;

13th of august 1999

Grandad

Dear ,

You are and always will be Grandads best girl.

I enjoyed you taking me shopping and looking after me (crossing the road).

I loved taking you to school and watching you at short day and reading your school reports.

Every day I sit in my chair and look at the pictures of you and wonder what you are doing.

Each night I look and in my mind I say goodnight and I remember the tea and toast you gave me in the mornings.

You were a little girl dressed in pink, now you are a young lady dressed in pink.

Time goes by but memories remain, all good ones.

I have all your drawings and they always mean something to me.

I saw you ride your bike for the first time without the stabilisers, it was great.

Time will go by and we all grow older but you will as always be Grandads best girl.

Lots of Love, Take Care, Be Lucky.

Grandad xxxxxxx

Anyone who remains in your heart will surely never die.

That's true FourPart. Scary thing is seeing my grandma who has Alzheimer, she cant even recognise herself in a picture. So sad..

Chloe....my mom didn't even know who I was...so you are not alone.

take blessings in memories and love.

Loosing a loved one no matter how old, hurts. My mom went to heaven April 21st this year, I miss her. But the good memories I have of her, I focus on, a few of the bad ones I choose to block out. It's great you have good memories to cling to.

Maybe you can take high doses of vitamin B12 supplement to fill your deficiency. Just a thought.

Memories to cherish Chloe. Many of us only wish we had said things to our loved ones while they were alive.

cars;1459467 wrote: Loosing a loved one no matter how old, hurts. My mom went to heaven April 21st this year, I miss her. But the good memories I have of her, I focus on, a few of the bad ones I choose to block out. It's great you have good memories to cling to.

Maybe you can take high doses of vitamin B12 supplement to fill your deficiency. Just a thought.


I'm so sorry for your loss Cars. I'm glad you have good memories of your mum!

* the b12 problem, i've been injecting every so often and taking daily high dose supplements, seems to be getting a little better, but for some it takes years to solve the problem completely. Thank you for mentioning it though!

JJ: that is why my mum set up these books for us kids. This way we have a personal message of a loved one eventhough they are not with us anymore. I'm glad my mum is such a smart woman!

Lady J;1459463 wrote: Chloe....my mom didn't even know who I was...so you are not alone.

take blessings in memories and love.


Lady J, that must have been very difficult..

I remember a month ago in England my dad and I rushed there to see my grandma.. There she was in the hospital... she looked at her son (my dad), then she pointed at a picture in front of her and said to my dad; That's my son you know!

My dad said: I know, that's me, I am your son!

She said: Ohhh is that you then..... and went blank....

I accept my grandma not having a clue who I am, but the look on my dads face broke my heart...

I never knew my Maternal Grandmother, as she died on my 1st Birthday, having suffered a long & painful fight against cancer. Although cancer probably one of, the most serious conditions, even now, back then, before there were any treatments it would have been a lot worse, so when my Grandad was diagnosed as having lung cancer, after a lifetime of being a heavy smoker he actually gave up smoking & after treatment by deep X-ray they actually managed to remove it.

However, even so, the experience had taken its toll on him & be it psychological or physical he rapidly became more & more frail until it reached the point where he had to admit that he was no longer capable of looking after himself & had to move into a Care Home - something which he had dreaded.

Fortunately, though, the home was nothing like he had expected. He had expected them to be the same as the Old Age People's Homes of yore, as they had been in his day, which were not much more than prisons, where drains on society were put away to rot. Much to his delight, though, he soon found the place to be more like a Hotel, and often said that had he known they were like this, he'd have moved in long ago. He was paired in a room with a bloke of his own age, with whom he would reminisce with for hours on end & he couldn't be happier.

Regrettably, though, after a few months, during a bout of coughing, brought on by the withdrawal of a lifetime of smoking, because of his lungs having been weakened by the removal of the cancer they haemmoraged, causing him to effectively drown in his own blood.

It's always a sad thing to see any loved one pass, but one thing's for sure, is that he died happier than he'd been for a very long time, as well as having all his mental faculties about him, for which we can all be grateful, as one of his greatest fears was to live out the rest of his days as a cabbage, being such an independent person as he was.

It was only after he had died that we learned that he had been awarded the George Cross during the war, which he had kept from everyone. It was only after a great deal of investigation that we learned that the circumstances in which it came about were identical to that episode of Dad's Army. He had been an Ambulance Driver & had disobeyed orders by going into a minefield to rescue some injured soldiers. Something I know he would just have brushed off as being what his job was. Nothing more, nothing less.

That's some "story" Fourpart.

Your grandad sounds to me to have been a great man.

I can relate on the lung problems in a way. My grandad had terrible emphysema. Doctors found out he at one point had a hole in his lung that had repaired itself!

The letter a quoted above from my grandad about the tea and toast I used to bring him in the mornings: I didn't tell him but I could hear him struggle to breathe in the night and the reason I would bring tea and toast in the mornings was to check if he was still with us..

Sad to say my grandad fell down the stairs and from that point on his mind went a bit Ga Ga. but refused all medical treatment.

he never quit smoking eventhough he couldn't anymore, he would light up a cigaret and just let it burn in the ashtray.

He was a stubborn old goat! but i must say like my dad a very smart one. Any technical issue? we just had to ask grandad or my dad.