ForumGarden

Hi my name is Gee Gee and this is the first time I've ever done anything like this. I dont know what to expect, I just needed something toget my mind off of everything else. Since Ive been up this morning I've spent most of it crying. I cant seem to get a grip on things, so I decided to go on the computer while cooking dinner

I hope this turns out to be a good place for you then, Gee Gee. There's always, always, someone here, day or night, to get things off your chest with, if you need a chat. I hope you find we're worth talking to. You'll find everyone friendly and helpful. If you keep clicking "quote" or "post reply" when you're in a thread like this and people are talking, you'll soon get used to the idea.

Thank you spot. I really appreciate you response and you words

Hi GeeGee! What to expect? Lots of good, friendly people with good ears, big shoulders, great advice, many opinions, and awesome conversations. Welcome to FG, hope you find what you're looking for here. :yh_peace

Hi welcome to FG well this is a great place to cheer you up i have also spent most of my day and night all the FG members are great here i look forward to seeing your posts xx :-6

Greetings Gee Gee feel free to post whatever is on your mind. And maybe you will feel a little better.

Hiya Gee Gee welcome!

Hope you enjoy your stay in the Garden,

dont go burning your dinner x.

Welcome Gee Gee.

Whats for Dinner??:yh_drool

I woke up this morning to the tune of gospel music which got me into the mood to go to church this morning, so My husband and I got dressed got into the car went to the bank to get money for gas and our account is empty. So we had to turn around and go home. You see, my husband just got back from Iraq and since he's been back he hasn't been able to find a job. For a very long time after his return which was in March he could barely get out of be. all he would do all day is was news programs and documentaries, while I want ot work and the kids went to school. Now I am the bread winner and it is not easy. The small amount of money that he is recieving from the military is going to an account in his home town that is a joint account with his mother. He calls her to ask that she send money but it always take forever. There has been times when something got turned off because of him depending on his mother. Because I no longer wait around for him or his mother to do anything he tells me I have no faith in him. So the fact that I suffer from severe depression doesn't help. I find myself struggling with simple tasks. My husband doesn't seem as interested in whats happening in our home than he is in O'Hanney or O'Rielly. With my depression I try to find strength in the word but when I read my bible I like to do it without the television on and because he have to watch these news programs he doesn't see a problem and we end up in an arguement. So things don't grt so out of hand I will just let it go. I feel so tired I can barely breath. My psychiatrist has incresed my medication and I still find myself crying uncontrollably. My husband is a good man. This is his first marriage and he keeps saying he will do whatever I ask him to do. The only thing with that is I dont know how to tell him to be a husband.

Have you family nearby, that you can sit with sometimes and feel support from?

You're keeping things together through a very rough time, it's obviously hard. It's something to be proud of, though. Your kids are still getting to school, your husband is working his way through his own hell and you're feeding him and keeping things in place for when he comes round eventually. I hope he does, but he needs time and he needs whatever help he can find. However bad it gets, it would be so much worse if what you have all fell apart.

You've found people on the Internet now, who can talk about any subject you need to raise. Maybe there's arrangements in place to help your husband get through his return, and people here might have experience of them to pass on to you.

Keep on talking, now you've started. You've made a big step.

The first thing I would do is get that man to a shrink. Maybe he is suffering from post tramatic stress disorder from being in Iraq. He needs someone besides bar buddies to talk to. As for you dear woman - hang in there - I admire your courage for being a stand-up Mom and wife while he was in Iraq. And now you have added pressure with his depression and despondancy. We here at FG will support you in any way you need - especially the talking part.

Hi Gee Gee! Welcome to FG. I'm sure all it would take is a little paperwork at the base payroll office and he can have his check deposited in an account at your bank. Ask him to do this.

Do you have a church you attend regularly? Call your pastor and ask to speak with him or one of the counselors at the church. Most churches are willing to help with bills and groceries until you can turn things around. They also offer wonderful spiritual and emotional support as well as programs such as couples classes, finance classes, mother's day out so you can get away from him and the kids for a while and bond with other women in the church. You need to make time for yourself also.

I realize your situation is very hard right now and seems impossible at times but don't give up. Your husband is going through a transition. Get a local paper and look through the employment ads with him or for him. When you're out and about, look for help wanted signs and offer to go with him to apply. Contact the VA regarding any veteran job placement programs. Realize that you may have to do the footwork for him if he refuses to do it himself, but do everything you can to get him off the couch.

Continue to trust in the Lord and he will provide for you. I know because I have been there, not in your exact situation but in situations that seemed hopeless and where I felt as if I would drown under the weight of the burdens and responsibilities. I'll keep you in my prayers. Most important, stay encouraged!