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do you always see the best or worst in people?

have you instantly liked someone then found out they were awful?

have you disliked someone only to discover they were great?

i would say i always see the best in people first but i have been hurt a lot due to that

99% of the time my "gut" is right on.

buttercup wrote:



i would say i always see the best in people first but i have been hurt a lot due to that
That's because you are a lovely, decent lady x.

I always tend to go on 1st impressions, and i'm hardly ever wrong.

see...there's a perfect example...i always knew Abbey was a wonderful lady! i am lucky to call her a friend. ....and we have had two people come here and tell me they hate cops right off the bat, yet i managed to befriend them. you never know...................

Usually, my first instincts are right. Another question though. I know a girl who I really like. I don't know what it is about her, her personality is great. The problem is, you can't believe a word she says, she hangs out with the shadiest people around, and I think she is capable of stealing. I hate liars and thieves, so I can't figure out why I think she is so nice. Maybe it's my motherly instincts coming out. She's young, and I'm hoping she learns.

Peg, you are normally so pragmatic! no trust, no friend. perhaps you sense something to redeem, to your credit. but don't let her polish the silver.

buttercup wrote: do you always see the best or worst in people?

have you instantly liked someone then found out they were awful?

have you disliked someone only to discover they were great?



i would say i always see the best in people first but i have been hurt a lot due to that


I try to see the best in people. I generally go by 1st impressions, but my when my 'gut' instinct kicks in I take things carefully.

I trust a positive first impression and allow myself to become close quickly. A negative impression? I will trust them anyway until they prove themselves untrustworthy. Naturally, I have lots of stab scars in my back.



The above does not apply to street con men.

hmmm....... i think i judge people pretty much spot on be they nice or not....

my problem is that even if i know they arent nice i like to believe that they somewhere deep down are.... which of course only leads to me being trampled on.... i like to believe and see the good in everyone but i need to learn and accept that sometimes it just isnt there.....

It takes me about fifteen minutes to decide how I feel towards someone. There have been very few occasions where my decision has changed, but when my mind does change it's usually for the better.

:yh_rotfl you guys, crack me up

I believe about 4% of what I hear, and about 7% of what I see.

Cynical, leery, untrusting, skeptical; all have been used to describe me. I don't like anyone at first. I trust only select few who have proven themselves, there's only 3 outside my immediate family. So, I don't need to be a good judge, I like and trust no one, at first.

Far Rider wrote: hahahaha so the rest are target practice eh? hehehe...
Actually, Far, as odd as this may sound, one of the 3 is a member here. Proved they were trustworthy and I'd tell my deepest darkest secrets to them.

As for anyone else, the jury's still out. Perhaps that's rude, but at least I'm honest!

Far Rider wrote: I hate everyone equally right off the bat....no need to judge.I remember the 1st day you came into the Garden Far,

and i stand by my judgement.

You are a dear sweet home loving guy and this garden would be bereft without you.

BabyRider wrote: I believe about 4% of what I hear, and about 7% of what I see.

Cynical, leery, untrusting, skeptical; all have been used to describe me. I don't like anyone at first. I trust only select few who have proven themselves, there's only 3 outside my immediate family. So, I don't need to be a good judge, I like and trust no one, at first.
I find that people are different about how they define friendship. Some go wide - lots of people but none that are really close. Some go deep, like you - only a couple in the circle, but with a "security clearance" that is a bit scary at first. Others somewhere inbetween. I am in one person's inner circle such as you described. Not being like that myself, it scared the hell out of me at first, then humbled the hell out of me once I realized what it meant.

Far Rider wrote: Those guys long sinced passed the character test, they stood by the stuff when it counted most.
I've never seen combat. There's no bond like the one forged by that fire.

I have met soooo many people in my lifetime that I can read them in an instant.

What is really funny is my best friend is so sweet on the surface but I have seen her con people with her sweetness so many times. I guess that is why we get along she knows I see through her so she doesn't try it on me. I unfortunely am outspoken, tell it like it is and am always in trouble with someone. They say opposites atrract. :driving:

-I wait and stand back and watch, for a while and see then how often they stick their foot in their mouth or whatever, then I decide

I dont know if Im a good judge of character or not.

I do know for certain Im not in a position to judge anyone.

My life has been filled with mistakes, mishaps and poor decision making.

I also know that each time I fail I try to learn from my errors. I suppose I relate to different people on different levels.

Sometimes Im the pupil. other times Im the teacher and at times Im ambivalent.

Some will instill in me a yearning to grow and strive to be my highest self while others seem capable of bringing out the lowest common denominator living inside me.

I also know for certain each of us has a unique gift, some know what their gift is and offer it freely.

Others may not know and may appear surly or stingy but I always allow for the fact that I have no idea what it means to walk in another mans shoes therefore I make no judgements.

In my opinion to make a snap judgement on a human beings character is doing a great disservice to not only that person but yourself as well, in doing so you will never find out what their gift is and in turn they will never know you.

I think that our characters, hearts, minds and spirits run much deeper than anything you can find out in a few moments.

I only believe half of what I see, and nothing I hear.. So from their I can usually spot a liar a mile away. Pretty good at sizing people up by looking in their eyes, the eyes tell it all..

I have learned to listen between the lines when people talk, most of the time that works. People are pretty transparent, unless they are sociopath and sicko's then they can fool you sometimes.. I alway have my "HINKY" meter up..