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Who wears the pants?



Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for a little chat. He said, "Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite I took off my pants, handed them to your mother, and said, "Here - try these on."

She did and said, "These are too big I can't wear them."

I replied, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will." Ever since that night we have never had any problems."

"Hmmm," said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try. On his

honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, "Here try these

on."

She tried them on and said, "These are too large. They don't fit me."

Mike said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that."

Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike. She said, "Here.

You try on mine."

He did and said, "I can't get into your pants."

Karen said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart a$@ attitude,

you never will."

:wah: Nice 1 Val!!!

Don't they call that coercive power?:wah:

Here's the counter to that. I just got it from a cousin this morning. I know it's not politically correct and I may be banned for posting it but it's way to funny to not share.

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all

down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.(I must

admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear the rules

from the female side. Now here are the rules from the

male side. These are our rules! Live with them!

Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.

If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it

down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving

it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the

changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going

to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this

one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to

almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help

solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your

girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an

argument. In fact, all comments become null and void

after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret

girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't

ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways

and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant

the other one.



1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us

how you want it done. Not both. If you already know

best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to

say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and

neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default

settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a

color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea

what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we

will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying,

but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,

expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything

you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you

are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the

shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but

did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Clint, what would make you think you'd get banned for posting that? I LOVE that list, I've seen it before. Cracks me up every time I read it, mainly because it's so darn accurate, and a great insight into how men's brains work. I totally agree with 99% of it.

BabyRider wrote: Clint, what would make you think you'd get banned for posting that? I LOVE that list, I've seen it before. Cracks me up every time I read it, mainly because it's so darn accurate, and a great insight into how men's brains work. I totally agree with 99% of it.
I was joking about being banned. It's the kind of thing this bunch understands and laughs at. I don't see what's so funny though.:wah:

Lol WERES me,,,,,, kecs,,,, not much good at spelling it.

BUT that watt we scouser call trousers mmmmmlol daffy52

I Cannot stand women in pants or jeans. Give me a bit of skirt anyday

ArnoldLayne wrote: BR, whats the 1% you dont agree with .Let me guess. Cant imagine any woman ever admiting shes got enough shoes....oops...very sexist :rolleyes:
Nope, I own a pair of motorcycle boots, 1 pair of heels, a pair of sandals and a pair of tennis shoes. I'm considering tossing the sandals.



Here's the one I don't like much:



1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to

say during commercials.

If I'm going to talk to you, what I have is always more important that whatever it is you're watching on TV. :yh_bigsmi

Lady COP

capt_buzzard wrote: I Cannot stand women in pants or jeans. Give me a bit of skirt anyday




Bit of skirt.....?.....

:wah: Good one Valerie! LOL

capt_buzzard wrote: Lady COPBothwell took the one-and-only picture in history of me in a girly dress, just two weeks ago. then it didn't come out for some reason! hahahahahahahaha that was it, last chance to get the cop in a dress! LOL :wah: ...i didn't recognize myself!